<p>I'm asking on CC because I know that a lot of us are over-achievers. What I mean is, in any context (e.g. so that you don't make your friends feel bad, to get office-hours in with a prof so they'll later write you a rec, etc.) have you ever lied and pretended that you were struggling in class?</p>
<p>I do pretty often. It's almost becoming pathological. The worst was most recently: in my differential equations course, I got the highest grade (99), the next highest was an 87, but the average was a 48. I told all of my friends that I got a 49, less than half of my actual grade. It's like I sometimes feel like a social outcast... I'm a commuter at a 98.5% on-campus uni, so it's difficult to meet people anyway.... but when I used to tell the truth, all I got were eye-rolls and you could tell people were annoyed at me (regardless of which way I tried to play it: either "yeah I studied really hard!" or "OMG, I was so lucky, I just guessed... wow I'm so surprised I got that good of a grade"). In actuality, I study less than most people but I go to every class and make sure that I fully understand the concepts.... I'm kind of getting sick of it though. It almost annoys me when I see people complaining that they're failing, yet they don't put in any effort.</p>
<p>definitely never to that extent.
I’ve tended to downplay my academic achievements for two reasons: first, because I’m tired of being world renown as the “smart” girl and apparently unskilled in everything else… and second, because all in all, an A on a paper doesn’t really matter a whole lot in this world.</p>
<p>I’ve never downplayed my performance in a class, but I don’t volunteer my grades. If someone asks I just tell them the truth, they asked for it.</p>
<p>When people complain about struggling in a class I excel in, I tend to just say stuff like “yeah it’s tough, but I like a good challenge y’know?” or something dumb like that.</p>
<p>I don’t understand the animosity that high-achievers receive. Granted part of it is probably just misinterpreting what the person says as bragging, but idk…</p>
<p>You can always just give a vague answer. “Oh. I did better than the mean…”, or “…yeah, I got around the B+/A- range, when I looked at the score distribution.” </p>
<p>You could always just tell them, but I hate it when people tell others of your success and then they come up to you and bring it up in conversation.</p>
<p>If they ask for a number score, you could just tell them to stop being nosey!</p>
<p>yea seriously why would you lie and say you did worse? Insane imo. I would brag and say i did well bc being smart is a lot better then being stupid. I mean the only thing i could think about lieing about is doing better but I dont have to do that bc i work hard. And a 99 when the next highest was an 87 and the average was a 48 is amazing. Congrats and be happy for yourself. How are you a social outcast? Because you work hard and study? IDK there are a lot of stupid kids in college and its generally their fault and no one elses.</p>
<p>Thanks guys… Well I feel like a social outcast because I definitely have more natural “aptitude” than most of the kids at my school, and I certainly have a better work-ethic. The other problem is that I am a commuter, so it is difficult to meet people (since I have to rely on meeting kids in my classes… which are often huge 350+ lectures, so no one talks except for the kids in back just goofing off). Last year, I didn’t brag or anything, but when asked, I told the truth. And sorry, but when someone asks and you tell them that you got a 99, and they’re standing there holding a paper with 45 written on the top, you feel like crap.</p>
<p>Also, in the 1 smaller class that I have, a history class, the professor is often left just standing there after she asks a question, and NO ONE raises a hand to answer. I often feel really bad and will just raise my hand in a desperate attempt to break the awkwardness, and out of respect for the professor (such a nice lady who tries really hard to make the class fun… she doesn’t deserve to just be left hanging there because everyone would rather text or just ignore her). I have literally seen my classmates roll their eyes at me when I answer… I know it’s not really MY problem—as I’m doing what everyone should be—but it’s still frustrating.</p>
<p>Lastly, and this usually comes up only in my labs, I feel like I NEED to prove my intelligence. I got into an argument with my chem lab partner last week about whether hydrocarbons were polar or non polar. It took everything I had not to just scream, “LISTEN! I’m averaging a 97 in this class, and you’re taking it for the SECOND TIME and you’re still getting a 60! Trust me, I’m right!”</p>
<p>Don’t even get me started on group projects where I’m teamed up with a bunch of lazy, irresponsible whiners who think that “passing is good enough.”</p>
<p>“And sorry, but when someone asks and you tell them that you got a 99, and they’re standing there holding a paper with 45 written on the top, you feel like crap.”</p>
<p>I don’t. I offer to study together next time, and have made friends that way. I have been on both ends of that, and I’ve also asked to study with people who performed better than me-- though when I perform badly I don’t usually go around trying to figure out how everyone else did if it’s going to embarrass me. I don’t see the big deal.</p>
<p>Definitely not. I don’t want to “dumb” myself down for other people, this reminded me of Mean Girls except not actually doing it. If I get a good grade on something I just keep it to myself unless someone asks. If they get mad then it’s not my fault, they need to put more effort into it. If they want help then I’ll gladly help them and if your friends get mad at you for doing good then time for new friends.</p>
<p>I don’t tell my classmates my actual grades. When they ask me about it I usually say “I did okay”, or after a tough test where most students struggled I say “I actually did better than I thought” or “I did not do so well”. I say how I feel about my grade, but leave out the specifics because an 87% might be really good for one student, but a 90% is kinda bad for me.</p>
<p>Now that I’m in college, I rarely get asked about my grades. But in high school, there were a few hyper-competitive people who made sure that everyone in the class knew how great they’d done on a test before the teacher had even finished handing them back. They were also desperate to assure themselves that they had gotten the very highest grade in the whole class.</p>
<p>Whenever they’d ask me how I’d done on something, I would just smile knowingly, say, “Pretty well,” and watch them turn purple. Worked every time.</p>
<p>There is no point in being insecure when talking about your grades. TwistedxKiss mentioned a good way to meet people, offer to study. You put in the time, you did well, tell it like it is, maybe it will open some peoples eyes and make them study more.</p>
<p>By acting as if you’re not too bright, you’re not attracting the other hard working, bright students.</p>
<p>Although I have a doctorate, I take classes for fun at my local community college. I’ve noticed that the bright, hardworking students stick together. They seek each other out and become friends. </p>
<p>I also agree with Twistedkiss’s suggestion of offering to study with other students. Students willing to be in a study group probably are people whom you’d enjoy getting to know. The really lazy students wouldn’t bother with study groups. Someone who’s motivated and hardworking, but is having trouble with the material, would choose to be in a study group.</p>
<p>You are right, TheyCallMeGill: All hardworking, smart students don’t participate in study groups even when they are struggling. </p>
<p>However, in general, students who participate in study groups do better than do students who don’t. In general, more highly motivated students are the ones most likely to participate in study groups. Lazy students don’t bother with study groups because they think that magical thinking, kissing up or cheating will allow them to pass.</p>
<p>I never really participated in study groups…
And I don’t mean to toot my own horn but I didn’t participate because I was too busy kissing up to the teacher or cheating. I did it because I found the opposite to be true. Those that pushed for a study group often times just wanted to mooch off of me, and mean while, I wouldn’t have enough time to study for myself. That and I think I am more efficient when I’m studying by myself because I don’t have to spend time on topics I already understand.</p>
<p>I think the op is overanalyzing things. yeah, most people wanna do well and no one wants to get a crap grade, but it’s not like they’re going to shred you to pieces for daring to get a 98 while they got a 60 or whatever…just relax, there’s no reason to lie about stuff. people will probably ask if they can study with you for the next exam or something.</p>
<p>I don’t think kissing up to the professor does much. maybe in a discussion-based class with lots of class participation, like many foreign language/humanities type classes, but usually in my classes grades are like 40% midterm 40% final 20% hw problem sets and sucking up isn’t magically going to make the answers right.</p>
<p>Of course not.
And this theory about what type of student does and doesnt participate in study
groups is dumb as hell.</p>
<p>In any event, I try to avoid discussing grades. Just because someone asks what you got doesn’t mean you’re obligated to give an answer. Or give a generic "I did okay. " response. Numbers aren’t necessary unless you feel comfortable sharing and judging from your post, you aren’t comfortable.</p>
<p>I usually say that “I did alright”, and will only tell people that I aced it or got a 99 if they specifically ask me my grade. Or if they ask questions regarding a specific problem they usually end up looking at my grade.</p>
<p>A lot of people get ****ed off, but it is annoying when a class is fairly easy (mixed with good studying) and you can’t complain about missing one problem (especially when you solved it correctly but made a type or something), because people will say “you’re complaining about missing one, when I missed 17”.</p>
<p>Luckily there usually are more and more people who understand as well or better than you do the more advanced you go.</p>
<p>I think the best way is to choose not to lie to your friends for who cares about you. Because they will be more careful about you!!!
Maybe they will find that you’re different than before they used to be.
Gradually, you can’t help but to choose keep lying to those people><"
Keep doing truly who you are!!</p>