I’m not sure that there is any one “right” technique with picky eaters. Both of my kids were relatively picky as toddlers. One outgrew it and is now an adventurous cook and eater. The other (with Aspergers) is still extremely picky, but making slow progress. And I used the same techniques with both - present wholesome, varied meals and snacks and let them take the lead. The only time we ever cajoled was to make sure that S ate a protein every day (allergic to peanuts and didn’t like meat). Occasionally we had to bribe with extra video game time to get him to eat an egg or a piece of cheese. (Ha! as I’m writing this he has just requested a pulled pork sandwich - on white bread, with no sauce and “make sure there’s no fat on it” I told him to make it himself.)
Who said “no access to food until next mealtime”?
Not me. There are always oranges, apples, bananas, almonds, pecans, sliced turkey or chicken, and yogurt around if you want to graze in our house. The whole “access to food” wording freaks me out, frankly-what do you do, put a lock on the pantry?
So messed up, how Americans view food. (I’m American, btw, just have lived all over the globe so I get to see how weird we look to others.)
A key point of the one bite rule is that if the kid has tried it and didn’t like it, s/he doesn’t have to eat it from that point forward. Sure, maybe after a year you might ask the kid if he’d like to try a bite of apple and see if he likes it now, but that’s it. And he gets to say no thanks. If the child already had had apples and didn’t like them, he’d had his one bite.
For me, the point of the one bite rule was to develop the child’s palate and broaden his experience. Nutrition was not the issue. Adequate nutrition can be achieved without consuming a variety of foods. We always had healthy stuff in the house that he could eat if he didn’t like what was served that night. Yogurt, for example.
I understand your point, @Consolation I just didn’t want to clean up sick every night at dinner. Honestly, the kid could make himself vomit at the drop of a hat. My older D would usually try everything, and she does have a broad interest in food. S often told us that he didn’t like food with “taste”. I guess he was one of those “supertasters.” Our favorite comment was when he told us that a new bread that I bought tasted like blood. Really, that’s a new one!
:)) Poor you!
A friend of mine’s kid would burst into tears and gag if asked to try a bite of anything new. A well-developed skill on his part, LOL. (Perhaps not coincidentally, this was the same kid who was the object of the lengthy holiday dinner table manners lessons.)
^ So easy to stop this behavior. Just have them clean up their own puke. Then they can decide what’s worse-trying something new, or cleaning up puke. My grandmother made my brother do this and he decided that, miracle of miracles, he was able to taste things after all because cleaning up puke is a drag. He also used to threaten to hold his breath until he died. That was entertaining, too.
Too funny @MotherOfDragons - that is probably an approach that would work. My friend’s D that I referenced upthread used to say “fine I will starve myself then” if my friend told her she had to choose something that was being served rather than have something specially prepare for her. I think if you give in once to this, you are doomed.
I am lucky in that my children have no allergies and eat just about everything. One exception - lima beans.
My one food of absolute revulsion is steamed cauliflower. My mother tried…but geeze Louise, it just stank. She even tried “hiding” it in mashed potatoes once. Uh, no.
I think if you choose to make food a battlefield you are doomed. I’m never going to get a parenting award but I can say that mealtimes at our house were always pleasant and no one (parent or kid) ever got emotional about who ate or didn’t eat what.
@HarvestMoon1 A lima bean has never made an appearance in my kitchen. 
While we’re on the subject of culinary horrors, does anyone actually make–or like–giblet gravy? IMHO, the giblets are there solely so that the dogs can have something they think is special.
Consolation–my Mom tried that once, and then agreed no one needed to eat that.
As far as making kids clean up puke? I hope I never live in a household where anyone feels the need to make someone do something that makes them puke. Least of all when it’s kids. I mean, what principle is so important that it’s worth making someone puke and then clean it afterwards?
Signed–mother of two kids who are apparently normal, and eat things as adults.
^^I’m not saying I advocate this, but more as an illustration of how people battle over food.
If he was sick with a stomach bug she wasn’t making him clean that up-my memory is she wanted him to try her onion soup, and the first taste he spit it out all over himself. She made him try another taste and he puked it up, and she made him wash his shirt and wipe up the floor (it was about a spoonful of regurgitated soup). I can’t say who won that battle, though-she didn’t make him try another taste.
My grandmother and my brother were equally strong willed, and this sort of showdown happened a lot whenever we visited there. He was (and is) insanely picky with food. My grandmother grew up in an orphanage during the depression, and her relationship to food was entirely different.
I can’t eat goat cheese-it makes my teeth feel squeaky.
My S was actually somewhat of an adventurous eater as a child. Once when we were dining out my H ordered mussels marinara and S, who was about 5 at the time, ate almost the whole bowl. First I thought he just liked the process of picking the mussels out of the shell, but when we went out he would always ask if they were on the menu and order them if they were. Used to scare me somewhat because if you get a bad mussel it can make you very sick.
Briefly vegetarian D1 later participated in the killing of a chicken and a goat during her study-abroad semester. Picky-eater-as-a-child D2 tasted snake during her study-abroad semester. I doubt I would have felt able to do any of these things, now or as an adventurous young adult.
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