<p>My son will be leaving for Pratt next Saturday, Aug 20. He wants to bring
only his clothes and buy whatever else he needs in Brooklyn.
I have no intention of paying the city prices nor do I plan on running
around the day we bring him in to buy what he needs in an area of the city
we are not familiar with. So I have bought everything on the dorm list Pratt sent.
We have been arguing for weeks. Anyone else going through this?</p>
<p>I had just the opposite problem with D#1. The minivan was so full, we almost couldn't fit her inside! When it's D#2's turn we'll buy a little more of her stuff at her new locale. (But we'll check out what stores are available in whatever community she ends up in, first.)</p>
<p>Maybe your son justs wants the independence of picking out his things.
Which stores are nearby? The worst thing you can do is ship him to school with stuff he hates. Maybe take up the necessities and let him buy whatever else on his own.</p>
<p>The things he wants to buy there are the necessities. Toilet paper,
cleaning stuff for the bathroom, hamper, lamp, garbage pail, etc.....
You may have a point that he wants to pick the stuff out himself, but
I have offered to give him the money and go himself and he says
"he will buy it when he gets there"
I have no idea what stores are near the campus and parking is always a huge issue in Brooklyn.</p>
<p>JVP1 - I think he'll be ok finding those things himself. A "kid" poster wisely posted on another thread that we parents shouldn't arrive with too much stuff for our kids - it's "embarrassing" to them. Maybe this is part of what your S is feeling. If he's moving in to a dorm, surely there will be TP and sufficient lighting for him to muddle through for a few days. If he's getting an apartment, he'll need to find the local purveyors soon enough, anyway.</p>
<p>We're not going through this right now, but certainly have gone through it in the past. I think that you should let him live with his choice here. It will be an excellent lesson with few (if any) terrible consequences. Give him a fixed amount of cash, that way you won't have to spend any extra money. He will soon be able to prioritize the important things in his life.</p>
<p>You know you are right. Now he will know you were right too, and maybe next time he'll listen.</p>
<p>My husband pointed out yesterday to my older S that girls going to college just must be different. Our youngest, our d, is going to Barnard in NYC and is taking a bunch of (color-coordinated, of course!) stuff for her room! It's all about "nesting", I think, and girls just seem to value having their own things around them more than guys, at least in my family. She also seems to want me to be around to help her set up her room (certainly more than my sons did), but I don't think the schedule at the college will allow that very much!</p>
<p>Paying for a cab is cheaper than shipping in NY. And the kids will tell him which stores are around, plus a bunch will probably be heading there themselves, and give him a ride. What a great opportunity to meet other students quickly! "Hey, where do I get...?" Let him do what he wants. If he is right, you will find out, if you are, you probably won't. Either way, he is dealing with going off to college in his own way. Perhaps this is his way of starting the separation process. Remember, when the supplies run out, he will still have to replenish, and I am sure there are stores nearby where all the kids shop, and after his experience, he will be the one to say, "Hey, just walk to...and it's right..."</p>
<p>I live in Brooklyn. There is one store (with two city locations) that offers excellent value. It is, oddly enough, called Century 21 Department Store. Clothes, housewares, sheets, bedding, shoes --top name at very very low prices.
The Manhattan store is on Cortlandt Street -across the street from the WTC site. The Brooklyn store is on 86th Street between 5th and 6th Avenues in Brooklyn. There is parking i nthe area.
There is also a Target relatively close to Pratt at the Atlantic Avenue Center-there is parking at this center
Good luck to your son and Welcome to Brooklyn!</p>
<p>Lots of great advice here! </p>
<p>Thanks to bklynmom for the info on
shopping.</p>
<p>Well, I'm assuming he will eventually have to buy toilet paper and cleaning products near Pratt when he runs out. He'll pay "city" prices then. So, why not compromise and let him buy the restockable items on his own after he gets there, while taking the static things like trashcans with him from home?</p>
<p>Don't argue, just be assertive and say, "This is how it is, I am not arguing with you. I am the parent and I am paying and this is how it is. Now, how about lunch?" And just leave it at that. Whenever, he starts arguing with you just say the same thing. You need to do this because if the nature of your relationship with him is arguing it may never end.You also may tell him Pratt is a mightly fine school in a mightly expensive neighborhood and if he is going to go there the next four years son will have to better accommodate himself to what you are willing to do. Period.</p>
<p>Oh, I think I missed your point. Sorry, I have no shopping ideas!</p>
<p>So why are you taking him to school? You will be only with him for the move in, then perhaps a meal. </p>
<p>Suggest you ship him and the stuff, separately. Then visit him at parent's weekend where both of you will be more appreciative of each other. And the school will be more prepared for the parents. Move-in is for the kids.</p>
<p>We had same prob. But because of travel logistics and distance we compromised. He allowed us to supply him stuff that we thought was necessary and we promised to take back what he didn't need, after 6 weeks at school and at parent's weekend. </p>
<p>GL</p>
<p>JVP1,
I'm not certain how familiar you and your son are with Brooklyn, but if there are any questions I can answer for either of you, just let me know. Pratt is a very fine school. My son has a good friend who will also be attending this fall. And, Brooklyn is a fine borough. Your son will be able to get anywhere within the borough or the whole city by subway. In many ways, the whole city will be become part of his campus.
Again, best of luck to you. And, congratulations on his acceptance to Pratt.</p>
<p>Basically, the general prices for clothing and supplies will be the same everywhere. A $30 shirt from Urban Outfitters in Kansas is the same price as a $30 from UO in Brooklyn. But you have to take taxes into account. If you don't live in NY and intend on buying in bulk, tax will run you up a lot since NY charges 8.25% for tax.</p>
<p>City (clothes) shopping, especially in NYC, can be cheaper than in the sticks if you have the patience and know where to go.</p>
<p>My daughter is heading off to NYC in a couple of weeks and we have had a similar experience. She is very concerned about space and wants to bring only the basics. She will have what she needs and then will have to budget for the rest. I know she wants and needs to fill in charge of this. I think that she is right about that and the best thing I can do is help her get what she thinks she needs and let her take responsibility for the rest. If I didn't feel that I could trust her to make the right choice about what to bring to school, how could I possibly trust her to live on her own in NYC. What your son is really trying to tell you JVP1, is that he is ready to be on his own and that he needs you to let go. Besides, think of how much less time it will take to move him in to the dorm. You can always tuck a roll of toilet paper and a bar of soap in a bag and leave it behind.</p>
<p>I bought son #1 a bunch of stuff that I thought he would need and much of it never got used. With son #2 we bought the bare essentials and left the rest to him. He attends school 3000 miles away and has to take most of his stuff on the plane, ship it, or store it. So he lives pretty sparsely and is very happy with that. I have told him if there are things he finds he needs, he can buy them or order them online. He really ended up buying very little. There is a cheap department store on the bus line where he has been able to get what he needs. He and several of his friends go a couple times a month and it is a social outing for him. So let your son take charge of this and don't make a big deal out of it. He will be fine.</p>
<p>"My son will be leaving for Pratt next Saturday, Aug 20. He wants to bring
only his clothes and buy whatever else he needs in Brooklyn.
I have no intention of paying the city prices"</p>
<p>Whenever I'm in NYC, I find that the prices for things like clothes are much cheaper than the small city where I live, which is hundreds of miles away from NYC. I haven't bought appliances there, but would imagine that there are more bargains in NYC than where I live, where the shopping is more limited.</p>