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<p>I think I was over-thinking this—something that should not even be on my mind unless I am actually making a decision to enroll, not debating whether to apply—and was just upset with myself over nonsense.…</p>
<p>I actually did more thorough research than reading sensational Crimson stories and looked at the syllabi, textbooks used, course notes, and problem sets from past years for Math 55. I found that I have worked through on my own about half the texts covered in most years (Axler’s Linear Algebra Done Right, Artin Algebra, Baby Rudin, Spivak Calculus on Manifolds—and almost a text of an equivalent level—and actually remember a good number of the problems pulled to be used in the homework, so even if the curriculum is meant to go far beyond what is covered in the texts, I still have a chance at dealing this course or at least Math 25 after filling out gaps by taking a complex analysis course and continuing independent study. </p>
<p>Maybe it’s good that I get personal issues with this and inferiority complexes out of the way now and understand that no matter where I end studying, I will find some path to follow even if it’s not ideal or entirely respectable.</p>