<p>@JHS</p>
<p>I know that what I am talking about is essentially irrelevant to my potential to be productive in academia. There seems to be something inherently anti-intellectual about introductory undergraduate courses and how they determine whether a person is on track to work in academia based solely on their prior knowledge of a subject and the demonstration of ability in it. At the same time, though, if you don’t show any genius but have great interest in a subject, what more aptitude for a subject could you have than anyone else? My guess would be likely less than that of the average Harvard student or one anywhere else who has no interest in that field. </p>
<p>Nevertheless, I think that you are right: I am either not intelligent enough or too unwilling to accept my place as a second-rate student to go to a school like Harvard. I am not sure what I can do with this fact other than change my goals, look elsewhere for study, or just hope for the best at a top school and accept my place.</p>