Does this essay screw me over?

Applying to College
1

<p>Right, so I was really counting on using my essay to counterbalance my satisfactory test scores...but I ended up submitting the first draft of my Common Essay. Completely my fault, I know. My first draft was very wordy and littered with allusions...and I'm afraid some admissions officer is going to throw it into the furnace because he finds it to be incomprehensible. It's not concise. At all. Anyone want to give me feedback on it? I can do e-mail or inbox. Your choice. </p>

<p>Thanks.</p>

2

<p>Hey, pm it over. I can take a look at it. :)</p>

3

<p>If you have another draft, you can phone the admissions office, explain the situation and see if they'll let you switch. I accidentally submitted two versions of my short answer to Yale and they told me it was fine for me to fax over the corrected version :)</p>