I don’t really think anyone is asking how you’ll pay the rent, we’re asking WHY you’re helping pay the rent.
Where is the banging head against wall emoji?
Or the olympic-level cognitive dissonance emoji?
btw, @MotherOfDragons, I love your user name…
I didn’t advise that, I pointed out the option.
This stuff is hard even with supportive family. With non-supportive family, sooner or later you need to wrest away control. Ideally it’s later, but one cannot control the timing of when special relationships come into your life. With the internet there is a way to maintain closeness, but sometimes getting together is necessary.
I pointed out that your life partner becomes your highest priority even over college and parents, if it is indeed your life partner. We have friends who are alone in their 50s who never separated from their controlling parents and said parents eventually died. My aunt never did. It doesn’t seem like a happy way to go through life.
Only the OP knows her heart. Based on the info she provided, I simply took the position that the relationship was a done deal.
YES
That’s very romantic of you, wanting to be with “the love of your life”.
But do you really think that it would be worth cutting your study time to be with him now? I mean, this is what defines your career. I sound like Mom but trust me, you’ll realize it eventually. Spend your weekends researching and studying rather than traveling back and forth.
And coming to the relationship, the true test of love lies in knowing if you could still work it over skype or long distance.
The wise thing would be to plan your career and come over to meet up with him (you know) once a month. That’s right about enough to keep the spark still going while you build your career.
Let me know if any of this makes sense.
But you already know this is a bad idea. Or else you wouldn’t have asked.
This “plan” is premised on lying. So, so much lying. Lying over and over to the adults who are paying for you to go to college. That’s a big red flag. Huge. HUGE
This plan doesn’t allow you to assume an adult role in your life. You are stuck in the sneaking around and lying role of a little immature kid.
This plan makes your relationship with boyfriend the driving force. College will be taking a back seat to seeing him. Every single wwwk.
This plan ties you to this guy financially. Rent comes due every month. Not too smart for someone with a whopping 6k in the bank.
If you want to do this the adult way, you’ll find a way to do it without deceit. You really, really need a new plan.
The reason we are harping on the Rent issue is that we are collectively aware of many long distance relationships and in none of them did anyone chip in for the other person’s rent…esp not the person who is doing the travelling.
DON"T PAY HIS RENT.
The safety of [intrauterine devices](http://www.skyla-us.com/safety.php) is debatable. I don’t think we should be recommending them to teenagers.
Get an implant (Nexplanon). Safe, gets rid of periods and virtually no risk of user failure.
Also the 20% “typical use” failure rate is misleading. But that’s another thread. I agree though with the double BC method.
I really don’t see the point of paying this guy’s rent. If you have 10K in the bank, hell, if you had 50K, I would still say KEEP YOUR MONEY. Textbooks, food, GAS MONEY (a big factor in visiting your bf) are all factors of your life that will in their own way dry up your bank account. It’s also a very VERY bad idea to upset the people who are paying for your education. In the end, it’s not the people on a random online forum that will make your decision. It’s you. The question is, are you willing to risk your relationship with your family as well as your academic future for a guy that could possibly break up with you after a few months?
This isn’t the 80’s and the horrors of the dalcon shield IUD. My friends and I have all had the mirena for a decade or so. It’s awesome. The kids at my college have skylas (the pre-baby tiny version of a mirena). No periods, no chemicals. No problems. I recommend the hell out of them.
I wonder if the OP suspects that her BF will break up with her they don’t see each other often enough to have a physical relationship on a regular basis.
@MotherOfDragons an IUD isn’t right for everyone (I can’t have IUDs for example). I am a huge proponent of LARC- both IUDs and Implants but I tend to recommend implants because their removal rate is lower, they are more effective than both IUDs and sterilization, they fall out at a non-negligible rate (the implant doesn’t), and teens in particular are more likely to have them removed than older populations (about 1 in 5 teens who get an IUD have them removed within a year).
Whatever works for the OP though. I just hope she’s safe and using proper protection.
You’re paying rent to visit your boyfriend on the weekends??? Lmao yea this definitely sounds like a terrible idea.