Does your college roommate have overnight guests?

Student Lounge College Life
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<p>My D's current favorite school has some strict residential life policies. No weekday guests, period, freshman year. To have a weekend guest you have to attend a workshop (!!?).</p>

<p>She is thinking ahead to when her boyfriend plans to visit her in the fall (we won't go into how statistically he will no longer be her boyfriend by then). I was thinking, even if the dorm policies aren't as they are, having an overnight guest, especially one of the opposite sex, is kind of disrespectful to your roommate (in a standard double room). The room is too small for even two people, they have twin beds so boyfriend would need to sleep on the floor, roommate wouldn't feel comfortable changing or lounging in her own room when he's there. </p>

<p>I don't recall many of us having overnight guests when I was in school, even though I went to a wild and crazy university. How about you?</p>

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<p>idk. ive had a friend over who spent the night already. my dormroom is really small too. and next friday two friends are going to be coming down, and spending the night. i have no idea how thats going to work out. lol</p>

<p>but i dont think its disrespectful. im going to be respectful as i can to my roomate within the boundaries of still living my life the way i want to. im not gonna tell my friends not to come visit me just cuz i think my roomie might be slighty uncomfortable.</p>

<p>oh. and i dont think there are any policies at all at my school. if there are, i dont kno about them...</p>

3

<p>I am at a private, Christian university and our overnight guest policy is as follows:</p>

<p>1) Overnight guests may stay for a maximum of 3 nights each semester (consecutive or non-consecutive) per guest per room
2) No opposite-sex guests may be in any room overnight or after visitation hours as per the student code of conduct
3) Any student requesting an exemption from the first point must request permission in advance from both their roommate <em>and</em> their RA and/or RD (no exemptions to point 2 are granted for any reason--students are to find a willing friend to host an opposite sex friend)
4) Any guest is to be accompanied by someone with a key to that residential room if they are in the room (i.e., no non-APU student may be in an APU dorm room without being accompanied by the student who has been assigned that room)
5) All overnight guests should be okayed (informally) by the student's roommate (i.e., be courteous toward your roommate)</p>

<p>Obviously, these policies are broken from time to time, but students generally stay fairly close to these policies.</p>

4

<p>A friend of ours just found out her daughter's roommate has been having her boyfriend stay over quite a bit. And, he's not staying on the floor. Her daughter didn't want to say anything to the roommate because she didn't want her life to be miserable in her dorm, where her roommate's quite popular. Apparently, the boy has a room in the dorm, too ... he just stays with the girlfriend. When Mom found out, she hit the roof. Now, her D will be moving out of her room into a condo. The dorm had no restrictions on overnight guests, left totally up to the discretion of suite mates. Puts the dissenting suite mate in a rough spot ... </p>

<p>BTW, this was the honors dorm at the university.</p>

<p>Zebes</p>

5

<p>"have twin beds so boyfriend would need to sleep on the floor"</p>

<p>right....</p>

<p>anyways when I was in the dorms, my roomie and i would have someone else sleeping over a few times a week. We were both chill about it since we both did it but I can see how it might get on someone's nerves.</p>

6

<p>my roomie and I have had overnight guests a couple times, mostly girls. They slept on the floor and it was fine.
Once she had a guy friend stay over and it wasn't awkward. I mean, I don't hang around my roomie in my underwear, so I didn't have to change my behavior (except for changing into my pjs in my closet).</p>

<p>But with a boyfriend, it's different. I would consider thinking about this again when your daughter has met her roommate. It might be more comfortable for the roomie to sleep in someone else's room for that night, even if nothing happens... Hopefully her roomie would understand...</p>

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<p>I don't mind at all when my roommate's girl sleeps over. (In the bed, btw, twin beds is definitely not a reason to sleep on a floor.) Also, one of my best friends' roommate also has his gf sleep there pretty much every night. Doesn't bother him. I guess it's different for guys though. Plus, we get along with our roommates' significant others. Might be annoying if they were weird or disrespectful.</p>

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<p>How else can you have mindblowing sex on a daily basis? Cheers.</p>

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<p>Of course we do.</p>

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<p>
[QUOTE]
twin beds so boyfriend would need to sleep on the floor

[/QUOTE]
</p>

<p>LOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOL</p>

<p>I have nothing else to add but that</p>

11

<p>bring a sleeping bag to college, if you ever need to sexile a roomate, just stick it outside the door with a pillow, if he doesn't get the hint,...he's an idiot</p>

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<p>My roomie's bf came for a weekend in the fall. It wasn't too weird, but I thought it would be. Our beds were bunked last semester, and they shared her top bunk, not doing anything. I wasn't worried about it either, because they both have their heads straight on their shoulders and have enough self-control and respect for me to not do anything that weekend. I didn't really worry about it, but it did cross my mind that while I was sleeping, there were only four poles that bunked the beds that prevented 250-275 lbs of people from falling on me, lol. They were hardly around that weekened, actually, because she was showing him the campus, the town, and the surrounding mountainous area. It wasn't bad at all, but not all couples may be like this when visiting their significant other who has a roommate.</p>

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<p>if your D's bf is gonna sleep the night at anytime during the semester, she needs to talk about it at the beginning of the semester with her roommate and talk about what they will do to compromise in these situations.</p>

14

<p>
[quote]
The room is too small for even two people, they have twin beds so boyfriend would need to sleep on the floor, roommate wouldn't feel comfortable changing or lounging in her own room when he's there.

[/quote]

lol....he definitely won't be sleeping on the floor. Why do you think he's coming to visit?</p>

<p>Last year, my roommate's girlfriend came over for 2 nights. I left the place for about 4 hours one of the nights to give them some "alone time". I was very considerate and so were they. No problems occurred, but I'm a pretty easy going guy. By the way, I changed in front his girlfriend, so I don't think that would be a problem either.</p>

15

<p>In the middle of the night, I awoke to my roommate and his girlfriend humping each other like bunnies.</p>

16

<p>Last semester my roommate had her boyfriend here 2-3 nights a week, every single week. all semester. SO ANNOYING! I slept on the couch most of the time (we have apartment-style dorms, so it's not nearly as bad as normal dorms, but definitely still annoying). She moved out to transfer to his school, and now i have the apartment to myself :)</p>

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<p>If your rooomate has a friend who brings their own sleeping bag or something, that's cool. They're just visiting. But it's a little trashy to be having your boyfriend visit and sleep over. It's called a day trip. Learn it, live it, love it.</p>

18

<p>Day trips! Ohhh man...this thread cracks me up.</p>

<p>Maybe it's because I know WAY too many couples (and both partners were at the same school), in which one of the partners literally moved in with the other to their dorm room or room at the fraternity house (sororities are actually probably the strictest about this sort of thing as most won't allow men above the second floor ever). Sometimes people just hate their roommates, or are so "in love" or find one of a million different reasons to make this happen.</p>

<p>One of my best friends actually moved most (not all) of his belongings to his girlfriends room. I'm talking clothes, his computer, school stuff, everything. They lived in the same dorm which was coed by wing, and he'd shower in the guys wing, his old room holding onto a few remaining things. He rarely went up there more than twice a week. All because he hated his roommate, so there were essentially 3 people living in his girlfriend's room (5 years later and they're now engaged). That in turned allowed his roommate's gf to move into his "spot" and if remember correctly her roommate's bf move in to her spot (that's as far as I ever heard it traced back). </p>

<p>All sorts of similar stories (not necessarily with the chain reaction of moves) in the fraternity house too. My chapter did NOT use the "sleeping porch/dorm" concept (we had one, but only like 3 guys used it) so everyone slept in their rooms and I can definitely think of multiple times when guys who had a 4 man room ended up with a 5th roommate for a semester or sometimes two. Listening to my little brother who is a freshman in my chapter now, things haven't changed. I suppose in a fraternity house it's slightly different as everyone's pretty much friends, but still...</p>

<p>And of course, even later on, it's certainly the case when people move off campus (then it becomes about who's place is more convenient to campus).</p>

<p>Really it's just part of college...close quarters, learning to deal with privacy and lack thereof, conflict resolution, learning to let stuff slide, and so on.</p>

<p>And who's to say that the roommate won't have a bf who's over all the time making your daughter's few weekends seem infrequent?</p>

<p>The biggest thing is that roommates have to talk, and things like this, that may be a problem need to be discussed EARLY, like in that first conversation over who's bringing what, so that there aren't any surprises. That's really all you can do.</p>

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<p>I don't remember exactly what the overnight policy was, because I was only in the dorms one year and I never had anyone stay overnight. I do know that they tried to do away with overnight guests entirely at the end of the year, and the school threw a collective fit and they didn't change the policy.</p>

<p>My roommate followed most of her friends to college, apparently. She had one (female) friend from home that came over a few times and slept on the floor. She asked me if it was ok the first time, but not any of the times afterwards. She also wasn't there about 2 nights a week so I assume she was in one of her (male) friends' rooms somewhere. I think one of them might've been her boyfriend for a time but I'm not sure. Now, when I lived in an apartment with 3 other girls, I kept thinking to myself that the boyfriends should have been added to the lease, since they pretty much were there every time their girlfriend was there (they never stayed the night, though). It's not like we pay for all that food that you're always eating...</p>

<p>I kind of get the impression that guys are more lenient about this sort of thing than girls are. Honestly, if I'm supposed to live with one other person of the same sex, then that's what's going to happen or I'm going to raise hell about it with the RA. It's extremely disrespectful to expect your roommate to be ok with pretty much living with you and your boyfriend...it's bad enough that sometimes people get kicked out of their own living space for the night, which they (over) pay for. Maybe they should just give everybody singles.</p>

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<p>
[quote]
In the middle of the night, I awoke to my roommate and his girlfriend humping each other like bunnies.

[/quote]
</p>

<p>See, that's not cool. I'm usually out of the room until 3 AM every night anyway. My roommate and I have an unspoken understanding that he and his gf get what they want to do out of the way before then or go somewhere else. I don't care that she sleeps over, but no one should tolerate anything more than making out while they're in the room.</p>