<p>I just had a big argument with my kid about that. I think strongly that she should send a nice note to the 4-5 places that she's not going to.
Every admission takes a lot of efforts for the admission officers. And I know one of them who had to read about 50 applications a day, for months. Pretty brutal.
Not to mention the debates, sometime fierce ones, with the colleagues, faculties, etc. to reach consensus.<br>
But she just treated it nonchalantly, which drives me absolutely crazy.
She said nobody does that. If it's indeed a new generation thing, I have a huge problem with that.</p>
<p>I love how you don't have to pay a ridiculous fee to apply to college and how all these nice admissions officers volunteer their time to read applications. I agree, they should get a nice thank you note.</p>
<p>In case it wasn't obvious, fevoldj2 was being sarcastic. Bostonc's daughter is correct; hardly anybody writes thank you notes to colleges they are not going to for education.</p>
<p>The schools that accepted my son (with one exception) didn't write "nice notes" to my son; they sent form letters. So there's nothing wrong with sending in the reply cards the schools <em>themselves</em> supply to indicate a rejection!</p>
<p>I've never heard of anyone doing it now, and nobody did it 35 years ago when I was a senior in high school. So it's hardly a "this generation has no manners" kind of thing.</p>
<p>I was going to. But, since they provided me that nice little card, it was just easier. After all, I'm not attending any of those other schools. When applying, sure that's nice. But at this point, their college is not my #1, so why do the pleasantries?</p>
<p>My son did send brief thank you cards for large scholarships that were offered that he didn't accept (because he was going elsewhere). I did send a thank you e-mail to my son's admissions person at Pomona who spent a bunch of time with us when he (my son) visited as an accepted student. I just really liked the guy. I heard from him again this year when he found my e-mail again. I wouldn't have asked my son to write to him, but since he spent time with our whole family, I felt it was fine for me to send my thanks. Son and I both independently e-mailed a coach at a school he decided not to go to. There was a real connection there and it would have felt terrible not to make a personal communication to this wonderful guy. Thanking is never a bad thing, but is probably not necessary in the admissions situation. Sometimes, though, there is a special human connection...</p>
<p>Actually my daughter wrote short polite notes. I felt it was appropriate. Most of the schools offered her considerable merit aid, and this kind of asks for "thank you", even when it is "no, thank you".
She also thought it was appropriatte to explain the major competitor why she chose another school (money) since every year A LOT of kids from her school apply their, and this will allow not to hurt their chances of admission.</p>
<p>And my son filled out every form sent to him by the non-selected schools, most of them many pages long. That is another way of thanking, by giving them info they want to have.</p>
<p>Glad to see some kids did it in a more gracious manner.
I just don't like my kid to take these opportunities for granted, and she knew it too. She didn't get into her 1st choice but got the 2nd one; there should be some understanding that things don't just fall in the lap.
To the young kids, prob the admission process seems like a machine process, but it's not. All admissions in the end go through the regional director. That person knows each school in his/her territory very well. If nothing else, to be gracious helps the kid's school and its future graduates.</p>
<p>My D sent letters expressing gratitude for the offer of admission and regret that she will not be able to attend to the colleges she declined. </p>
<p>She wasn't expecting anything in return and was very surprised to receive a very gracious offer of an open invitation from Rose-Hulman to transfer at any time if she no longer was satisfied with the college she had chosen to attend.</p>
<p>It's a nice thing to do, but by no means a lack of manners to simply return the card provided for that very reason.</p>
<p>there are, I would guess, better things to fight with your child about or fault her for her lackings, but is that really necessary now, months before she leaves?</p>
<p>My ds did write nice letters to the schools he rejected. They had all offered him major scholarships and he's got a bunch of siblings coming behind him - he wanted to leave a good taste in their mouth about our family :-) I was so thankful!</p>
<p>My S wasn't accepted to his preferred major, but the college wrote and offered him a prime spot for a second-choice major. A few weeks later, when he got accepted into the major he hoped for elsewhere, he wrote a nice email to Admissions thanking them for finding a way for him to enter their school, but that he'd take the offer from the school admitting him to his hoped-for major. </p>
<p>They wrote back the nicest note of all, and it actually helped S have some good thoughts to hold in his head, as compared to the colder rejection notices from several places. He just ended up feeling better after this EASY exchange of emailed notes. Handwritten notes? Forget that, I can't inspire myself to write them, let alone others, even though I know they're much more memorable than emails. Something's better than nothing, I feel.</p>
<p>My daughter wrote notes to the admissions officers with whom she had a relationship. Both responded keeping the admissions offers open, one even keeping the merit scholarship offer available.</p>
<p>Well-don't forget that sometimes a student finds that their choice is not the best for them and they might want to transfer. My D decided after a month to transfer as a freshman and she HAD written a very nice letter to a school that she knew she could be happy with and felt hopeful that they would find a spot for her. She ended up being accepted somewhere else but she was very glad that she had a nicely written letter in her file. If a school has done something special-time, $$, etc. it is just a nice thing to do and you never know when it might be important in the end.</p>
<p>D wrote nice notes, especially because some of these schools might be in the running for grad school, and she needed to turn down some wonderful merit offers.</p>
<p>I wrote nice notes to the schools that didn't provide some sort of reply card. Our school specifically asked that all students reply to all colleges and even provided a sample letter for declining admissions. Our PTO did the same. Besides just simply being polite, it's good for the relationship between that college and your high school and for schools you might like to attend for graduate or professional school.</p>
<p>For everything that people do to help my kids in any way I HAVE them write thank you notes.
The sad part is "I have them " write it, but maybe as they get older they will realize that it was a good thing mom had them to do :) I hope!</p>
<p>My D emailed the schools that she turned down. All but one of them responded with a nice email thanking her for her thoughtful note and wishing her the best. Granted, because she auditioned at these schools, she did have a more personal connection than most applicants. Several had called her more than once during the decision period inquiring about her decision. I think it would have been rude not to respond to those people who took the time to call her. Looking at it in a self-serving way, two of those schools are ones that she may well consider for grad school. I look at it as "why not?" It takes a few minutes and has no downside.</p>