<p>S also sent personal notes to admissions folks and profs who had given him advice/gone the extra mile/offered scholarships. Some are possible grad school prospects; one was the school that was hardest to turn down (and was the first one to reply today). </p>
<p>S did it because he said he wanted them to know what his thinking was behind the decision, in part because he had so specifically targeted and demonstrated interest.</p>
<p>There was one acceptance with a large scholarship attached along with a handwritten letter from the college interviewer. I really liked the interviewer when I talked to her for about 5 minutes prior to their private meeting. I felt bad when my kid didn't want to write a personal note back when she turned down the school. After our visit we didn't think the school was the best fit but it would have been nice for her to acknowledge the personal interest shown.</p>
<p>Dd sent letters to the schools that really went above the call: the one where the admissions officer wrote her a beautiful hand-written note around 2/1, the school that replaced loans with grants even though it's not a grant-only school, the school that invited her to visit for something like 4 or 5 nights in a row and another school we absolutely loved. </p>
<p><em>However</em> two of the alumni who interviewed her have emailed her asking if she chose their school and she hasn't been able to respond. She says she liked them soooo much and doesn't want to tell them she won't be attending.</p>
<p>My D wrote a LETTER to one college that bent over backwards to get her to attend and gave her a large merit offer. It was a sweet letter and she received a nice response back. She also wrote a short note to another college that had courted her. They sent her a letter back (arrived today) offering to keep her admission open for two years in case she had a change of heart! Wow, I hadn't heard of that before. Perhaps that is a perk of being polite and sending the note, or not. I don't know. The others who had not gone the mile, she just checked the boxes and sent the cards back.</p>
<p>I just returned the cards sent by 2 of my schools. For the other 2, I just sent a short email informing them I would not be attending and thanking them for their interest. Really, do they have time to read thousands of notes of length? While a more personal note might be ok if someone took a special personal interest.</p>
<p>Given the number of threads on these boards of kids who didn't bother to respond at all ("Do I have to tell them I'm not coming?" - whine, whine, whine), I'm just glad that these kids responded at all. I think the response card is sufficient. But a nice note never hurts.</p>
<p>my son wrote short heartfelt notes of thanks to the adcoms who had personally written him or given him some kind of honorific if he would attend their schools. I don't think you want to rattle on about your self and your unique caveats, but three well written sentences are always good manners.</p>
<p>I think it is very important to recognize personal attention recieved by smaller colleges and the habit of a personal note sets your student up for proper habits in the work force later. In a couple cases he filled out surveys for schools turned down when asked to do so, in all cases he gave one short reason for his decision if the school was small and personal and had reached out to him, while also stating one short reason he was going to miss out on something great about the school he would not be attending.<br>
No school has it all. It is easy to acknowledge you admire the school you bothered to apply to regardless of your final choice.</p>
<p>My son did write personal notes to all the colleges that either interacted with him in a personal way during the process or offered him a merit scholarship. He wanted them to know how much their efforts were appreciated. He did not want them to think he had always viewed them as a "safety" while his eyes were on another. </p>
<p>He also wanted to share his decision process to benefit those students coming behind him. He wanted to explain to those colleges that offered him substantial merit awards to understand that those scholarships were important to him and not easily dismissed. </p>
<p>None of these letters were written with an eye toward "his" future. He just wanted the recipients to know that he appreciated their efforts of his behalf.</p>
<p>My D turned down top LACs whose staff are known to read files with a keen eye. Vassar, for example, relies on local alumni for interviews. These alums then complete and submit reflections on each interviewee. </p>
<p>When she completed the "I will not attend" forms she wrote a very short "thanks" for their attention to her file, noted that it was a hard decision, and when she had been interviewed by a specific member of the admissions team, added a nice comment about their conversation. She also made a special visit to a local LAC that had given her a full ride, four year, merit scholarship to inform that that she was going elsewhere but also wanted to thank them for their confidence in her. They deeply appreciated her personal touch and felt that her actions confirmed their choice. I think that this doesn't really take a long time and I think it may bode well for students that follow from that particular school. Admissions can be a thankless job.</p>
<p>Reflectivemom,
S did the same thing. He explained his thought process and the strengths of where he's going and where he declined. One prof wrote him back and told S he had fabulous choices and that there were no bad decisions, just tough ones. That was our feeling, too.</p>
<p>As happy as I am about Chicago, I will freely confess to still getting weepy about Mudd.</p>
<p>Ha! It's all most kids can do to get that one acceptance out to the school. I don't know if they even keep the little cards for the schools for which they have no interest. I was horrified when my first pitched all of his stuff for the schools he did not want. I had to get postcards for him to send to the schools he turned down. I ended up filling out half of them myself. I am nagging my son who is in this round to get his stuff together to notify those schools where he is NOT attending. From what I can see, a number of kids are not bothering at all. That's why I'm flummoxed on how so many schools are already calling kids on the wait list. I am suspicious that they are jacking up yield by checking if kids are really going to come before accepting. That is something that can be done with waitlist. </p>
<p>It is good manners and good habit to get those notifications done. Also keep in mind that you may want to go to that school if things don't work out at your first choice. I've seen it happen more than once. Not wise to burn bridges. Also if you have siblings, it might have a bit of a psychological edge to do the right thing so you are not remembered as an oaf.</p>
<p>I wrote thank you notes (more like personalized letters lol) to a few of my "reach schools" that admitted me, and to one of my safeties which offered me a large scholarships. To the schools in between, I wrote a nice few sentences thanking them for their time and efforts, and explaining why I couldn't accept their offer. </p>
<p>I think notes are a nice gesture if your kid has the time.</p>
<p>I just did it online...I was so swamped with other stuff I just didn't have the time.</p>
<p>DS just received a couple of responses to the letters he'd written. Both were very warm, nice letters that mentioned specific things about him and said he would be welcome there if he changed his mind. It was a pleasant way to end all this.</p>
<p>On the other hand, for some reason, ds is giving me a hard time about sending out his graduation announcements. I told him if I had to force him, he'd have to write me a thank you note as well as the giver for every present he received. I <em>think</em> I was joking <lol></lol></p>
<p>S1 wrote me a thank you note after his Bar Mitzvah. I still have it in my Day-Timer and carry it with me everywhere.</p>
<p>I took a letter from a school that rejected me, changed a few phrases, and sent it to the admissions directors of the schools I'm choosing not to attend.</p>
<p>Is it ok, or good form, for a 'No' letter/email to a school to say, ever-so-politely, that they did not offer enough money?</p>
<p>I ask this because this is the number one reason my d turned down most of the schools.</p>
<p>I sheepishly ask the forum: if this question were posed with sufficient tact and respect, do you think that a college MIGHT - at this early date in May- say something like, 'how much would you / do you need to make it affordable?'</p>
<p>After all, we are only out, or at risk, the small $200 deposit to the YES school at this point.</p>
<p>I wrote a nice note to Williams, because they sent personalized acceptance letters and I thought that was so sweet. I also wrote a nice note to my safety, which offered me merit money (it still ended up coming to less than Williams' and Amherst's awards, but they can't all have 1.5 billion dollar endowments!), a spot in the honors college, and called me to recruit me. Everyone else just got the card.</p>
<p>I always send thank you cards to people who have given me gifts.</p>
<p>My daughter applied to a number of schools and received merit scholarships to most of them. If the college/ university also sent a postcard in the packet asking that the student notify the school if he/she decides not attend there, then it makes sense to submit the card indicating that he/she is not attending there (some cards will even ask where the student decided to attend).
Since she will be playing a varsity sport in college, some of the coaches went out of their way to spend time on the campus tour and put out extra effort. My daughter is in the process of sending notes to these coaches, thanking them for their efforts even though she will not be attending those colleges.
So...
When a college asked to be notified, post cards were returned
Coaches who spent a lot of time with her are getting thank you notes.
Other colleges who provided merit scholarships will be notified with a simple
form letter (probably an e-mail would suffice...)
My philosophy has always been to acknowledge when a "gift" has been offered.</p>
<p>
[quote]
Is it ok, or good form, for a 'No' letter/email to a school to say, ever-so-politely, that they did not offer enough money?</p>
<p>I ask this because this is the number one reason my d turned down most of the schools.</p>
<p>I sheepishly ask the forum: if this question were posed with sufficient tact and respect, do you think that a college MIGHT - at this early date in May- say something like, 'how much would you / do you need to make it affordable?'
[/quote]
</p>
<p>It is absolutely appropriate to tell schools that you cannot come because the aid was insufficient, and that had it been sufficient, the outcome would likely be different. That's a data point they need to know.</p>
<p>As to your second question, it is always possible, and it never hurts to ask. The worst they can do is say, "Sorry, and good luck."</p>