<p>D sent a short thank-you note and included the schools reply card. She wanted to let these schools know ASAP, in hopes some other student who is on the waitlist would be offered an acceptance.</p>
<p>If your D had serious interest in that school, she or you should have contacted it and see whether they could address the issue and they might do something about it. Oh, well, it's water under bridge.
I would mention in the "No, thank you"-note mention something, matter-of-factly.</p>
<p>Thanks for everyone's input. Glad to see many kids and their parents opt to do it in a more gracious manner.
Honestly after reading the initial a few posts, I thought time had change so much...
Unfortunately my family have a way to go before they realize it's the right way to do things, that include writing a nice note to teachers and others who writes recommendation letters, and being mindful of others spending time and efforts.</p>
<p>Our son also wrote a paragraph of thanks to each reference before winter break. I recommend this because it means you thank them for the hour they spent writing about you and supporting your dreams REGARDLESS of admission outcomes. Also we found later that one of the references didn't do her references till New Years weekend...although she didn't say so and we assumed they were "in" college admissions offices. Frankly in our public school the teachers have to write references on their weekends and on private time which is a lot to expect over the holidays...
get your reference thank yous done before you leave for winter break is my advice.</p>
<p>It kind of depends. D did not write notes to Adcoms, but was a recruited athlete and wrote each coach back a letter explaining her decision, and in one case to the head of an elite program that had addmitted her.</p>
<p>Our son didnt write any notes but he did honestly fill out the questioneers he got inquiring as to why he did not decide on attending that college. He did write a note to one admin representative who interviewed him and wrote him a note complementing him on his college essay.</p>
<p>S just checked the box and sent the little cards back in.</p>
<p>It never occurred to any of us to thank the schools that gave him merit aid. (No special awards or anything like that.) </p>
<p>I'll keep 'thank you's' in mind when D is a senior.</p>
<p>
[quote]
If your D had serious interest in that school, she or you should have contacted it and see whether they could address the issue and they might do something about it. Oh, well, it's water under bridge.
[/quote]
</p>
<p>D did contact at least some of the schools and asked for more money, attempting to make a persuasive case of how great she is. I even stepped in, too. No can do. Or, more precisely, not enough to do.</p>
<p>If any of them had offered more, they'd have her as an enrollee. btw, we are talking about 60-110 ranked usnr LACs. </p>
<p>In the exchanges I noted above, we did not say, 'give me this, and I'll enroll'. maybe we shoulds have just boiled it down to that. I thought it was too strong, too tactless. It was more like this is why we need this (how great I am (d) and how needy we are (the dad, me) ) , then the school responded. Some had zero response, some had some response. None had a sufficient response - even the one she ended up deciding to go with. </p>
<p>One school got quite huffy and thought we were ingrates because we did not appreciate the tickets they left us to see the school orchestra (!) even tho we were polite in this exchange.</p>
<p>This is why I ask this question now: we'd only be out $200 if we still can make a deal.</p>
<p>When is the big time payment due usually?</p>
<p>My daughter spent a fair amount of time writing email thank you/sorry, not coming notes to a number of schools where she knew her admissions sponsor and had developed a relationship over the past year or so. Some were just really tough to send. </p>
<p>No part of this journey is easy, that's for sure.</p>
<p>Like originaloog, DS did not write thank you notes. He did fill out the forms the colleges sent, and answered their questionnaires honestly. I suspect that's more than a lot of kids do! The longest and most difficult questionnaire came from his 2nd choice school. At the end in the comment section he wrote, "I really liked Your College and this decision was not easy for me, but in the end My College just feels like a better fit for me."</p>
<p>Colleges know kids will turn them down, that's why they accept 2 - 3 times as many as they need to fill their class. Adcoms are paid to do what they do. They don't expect a thank you note. If a student builds up a relationship with a particular admissions person a thank you note would be a nice touch, but otherwise I think it's kind of overkill.</p>
<p>lafa, I feel you.</p>
<p>The supposedly nice christian school st olaf completely ignored my daughter when they waitlisted her- Did not even acknowledge her many emails as follow ups to the waitlisting. She THOUGHT she had developed a personal relationship with her counselor, too - that was the odd thing. They also said to send them more detail. to give the counselor his due, the head of the admissions dept also ignored daughter.</p>
<p>I saw a rather florid description of adcons, I mean adcoms, by some creative writer of a student in an Earlham thread, when he referred to them as </p>
<p>"Monsters with smiles"</p>
<p>(with all due respect to admissions counselors :) )</p>
<p>Idic5 asked if a letter should mention if the money was not enough.</p>
<p>If money was a significant factor in ds's decision about that particular school, yes, in his letters he mentioned that although he really loved ____ about the rejected school, his college choice had offered him a ____ scholarship and he didn't feel able to turn it down considering his family's financial situation.</p>
<p>We wanted them to know that he had loved their school, but the money just didn't work out. I particularly wanted him to say that to our alma mater. I really believe that they gave him a smaller scholarship because as a 4th gen legacy, they thought he'd come anyway. Wrong. Don't want them to make that mistake with his siblings <lol> - we do want somebody to go there if it's right for them.</lol></p>
<p>My son did nto write them, but probably should have.</p>
<p>I'll play devil's advocate - I asked this question of a friend who already has a son in college and she told me no you don't need to send notes and hardly anyone does. Then I started to think about it and realized that these poor admissions people just spent months pouring over essays, applications, letters of recommendation, etc. Probably the last thing they want is something else to read! So I did not suggest to my daughter that she write all these schools and say "thanks but no thanks". She applied to mostly larger schools, however, and did not form relationships with anyone in admissions nor was she offered any HUGE scholarships - so perhaps it would be different if it were a smaller school that she had a lot of contact with.</p>