<p>My daughter was discussing some of the choices her friends are making in college - summer plans, study abroad, internships, selecting classes/majors, etc. and wanted to know if I thought she was "doing college well." I understood exactly what she meant - is she making the most of her college experience.</p>
<p>So do you think your child is"doing college well" and why?</p>
<p>My two have graduated, but I think they mostly “did college well.”</p>
<p>My son completed the major he wanted and minored in an unrelated subject that he developed a liking for while in college. He had two summer internships in a research environment, worked as an undergraduate TA, and did an honors research project. The contacts with professors that he developed while doing the honors research helped him get into a graduate program. I regret that he didn’t participate in any ECs in college, but he doesn’t regret it. He preferred to have free time, and he found good friends to spend that time with. </p>
<p>My daughter completed the major she wanted, had three summer internships in different settings, participated in a few ECs in college, and worked as an undergraduate TA. She took advantage of on-campus recruiting in her senior year and got a good job that way. She regretted not participating in an additional EC that she thought, in retrospect, would have benefited her. I regretted that she paid a lot of attention to keeping her GPA high, but three years later, her high GPA helped her get a substantial merit scholarship for a graduate program. So what do I know?</p>
<p>I think this is a great way to reflect upon the college experience…I look forward to reading people’s answers. </p>
<p>Yes…and I should add that I think a lot of it is due to finding schools that were a great fit. Of course there are always some bumps along the way, but overall I feel blessed that both of my kids had/are having phenomenal college experiences. Here are some of the highlights…</p>
<p>My S was a very quiet, shy high school student and really came into his own during college. He attended a Jesuit college in NYC and found a great group of friends that really fit his sensibilities (much more so than he had in HS). He was constantly challenged academically and got stronger and stronger every year. He got involved in clubs and volunteer activities on and off campus, and to our surprise he became a leader and mentor to others in his last two years. In short, he left school more able, more confident and more secure both personally and academically. And he had three terrific summer internships and got into a phenomenal grad school. Now my S is living and working in NYC. He certain “did college well”.</p>
<p>My D is currently at a different college and is also having a great experience. From the start she wanted a LAC and is thriving in her school’s small supportive setting. She has made great friends, has close relationships with a number of professors and is involved in community service, her sorority, theater, and music all over campus. Frankly I’m not sure how she does it all and still keeps her grades up. And she was just awarded a scholarship to do research this summer on campus with one of her current professors. I’d say she is “doing college well” and I’m guessing we will have to drag her out of college kicking and screaming in two years.</p>
<p>Yes. I do regret that D chose to double major and thus missed the chance to explore a wider variety of fields, and I think it has taken her a while to understand that you take classes from the best profs even if the subject is not necessarily your favorite. But she has juggled classes, research, sorority, service, a job, and multiple extracurricular activities so much better than either her father or I ever did. </p>
<p>She knew we struggled to pay tuition for twelve years of private school, and she worked hard to make the most of that. Her undergrad years have blessedly been fully funded, but she still has that same desire to take advantage of the amazing opportunities available to her .</p>
<p>Yes. Taking the most challenging courses he can and doing well in them. Talking to professors not just about coursework but about their research. Joining clubs. Playing in musical groups. Taking off beat classes as well as ones in major. Working in a lab. Playing intramurals. Attending concerts and lectures, including esoteric lectures in areas of interest. </p>
<p>I also marvel at how he juggles it all. I am so happy for him. It feels like when he left home the whole world opened up to him, and he rushed to meet it. What makes me proudest is that he is trying so much and doing so much. </p>
<p>My D1 definitely did college well. I feel like she squeezed every bit of juice out of the experience. 
She double majored, was able to study abroad in an unusual location, also took advantage of a study/internship semester in DC, completed a senior thesis that was nominated in the top 60 in her major in the country that year, made a zillion friends that she still sees all the time, keeps in touch with professors, and graduated Phi Beta Kappa.</p>
<p>Jury is still out on D2. She loves her college and is working hard, but it remains to be seen if she really gets the most of it that she could.</p>
<p>was wondering the same for my 1st starting next year. I was excited to encourage one of their study abroad programs, but it didn’t seem to excite him as much as it did me. I explained that these next 4 years will present opportunities that may not come again as he begins his career and possibly a family …</p>
<p>Thanks everyone for sharing your stories. I think one of the main reasons I am so calm about sending my first born away to college last fall is that she is “doing college well.” She has chosen to push through her shyness and really dig in with friendships, and she now realizes how much she enjoys being with people. She is taking responsibility in her work study jobs, her classes, service work, and still enjoying dinner out with friends and movie marathons on weekends. Since she took dual enrolled College Chemistry her senior year, she took Organic Chemistry as a freshman. And attended classes at 8 am !! She got B’s both semesters and is proud of them! She is set to start research work her sophomore year on campus. She maintained a healthy relationship with her boyfriend at another college 3 hours away, and I was proud of how she stayed connected with her classmates and didn’t just spend all her time missing her boyfriend.</p>
<p>I think D1 did college really well. She went for a shy and reserved kid to a very poise, social kid who can stand up to anybody, yet still remains herself. She had 4 amazing years, friends that she made will be friends with her for life.</p>
<p>No, I don’t think she’s doing college well. Instead of “doing her”, she is trying to do what everybody else is doing. Instead of doing what she loves, she’s doing what she thinks will look good on a resume. She’s seeing a counselor at school now, learning relaxation techniques and starting to figure out though. If she learns the right lessons- to be HER and stop trying to be everybody else, then she will have done college well. </p>
<p>I think in so sways my student has “blossomed” in college, but I don’t think he’s taking advantage of all of the opportunities he should be. He is probably somewhat socially immature, and has improved in that aspect. But I wish he would take advantage of talking to professors, doing research, using career services, etc. he takes very hard classes, and lots of them, but his grades are not as good as they would be if he had a more balanced load.
I just hope he finishes in four years and lands a job or paying PhD program.</p>
<p>Perhaps it may be easier to find examples of doing college “not well” as examples to avoid. For example:</p>
<ul>
<li>Choosing a college that is too expensive, loading the student (and co-signing parents) with excessive debt.</li>
<li>Changing major frequently and late, such that there is no possible way to complete the current major within 8 semesters from starting college.</li>
<li>Being picky about class times (e.g. no 8am classes), resulting in not getting into required courses for the major needed to graduate within 8 semesters from starting college.</li>
<li>Neglecting studies to party too much, resulting in academic probation or dismissal (or loss of merit scholarships, resulting in dropping out because the college is too expensive without the merit scholarships).</li>
<li>Building the entire program of study around something that requires highly selective admissions (e.g. medical school, top 14 law school, or a popular undergraduate major that requires a high GPA or highly selective admission process to declare) with no backup plan, and then getting rejected, leaving the student at a loss for other academic and post-graduation plans.</li>
</ul>
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<p>I don’t know if that can necessarily be said to be doing college “not well.” What if this student had a 99% chance of getting in but that unlucky 1% came up. Just a result. Just because Aces can lose doesn’t mean you fold 'em. </p>
<p>Being honest, I went to college to increase what pay I could get from a full time job. If college didn’t do that I wouldn’t have gone. If college did nothing but that I would still have gone. It did certainly increase the pay I get with a full time job, and thus I feel I did college well.</p>
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<p>Well, there is a difference between doing something with a 99% near-safety chance, versus aiming for something that is a reach like medical school, top 14 law school, or popular highly selective undergraduate major. In the latter case, it is much more essential to have a backup plan.</p>
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<p>The fact that 2/3 of bachelor’s degrees are in pre-professional majors* means that most college students have this reason as at least part of the reason that they attend college, although not all students are successful at improving their job prospects, or improving them enough to put attending college in the financial slam-dunk category.</p>
<p>*Of course, many liberal arts majors are also chosen for pre-professional reasons.</p>