<p>So, I live about 108 miles from the university where i attend, that is too and from the school. My friend and I were going to get a dorm room and move into gether for this upcoming semester to save on gas money but now she isn't going to do it because she can't come up with the money. But i recently told my parents that i'm going to be moving into the dorms and my dad pratcially through a fit on me for even considering the idea of moving out of the house. He told me once i'm out, i'm out for good and no coming back to live. So now i don't know what to do, should i still move into the dorms and on with my life, get a job and start supporting myself or just stay here with my family and spend all my money on gas and oil changes and things for the car. by the way, i am 21 years of age... i just don't know what to do now. any suggestions?</p>
<p>Gotta feeling there is more to your story. Even a 108 mile round trip is a horrible commute, and I can’t tell if you mean it’s one way?!? Are you new to university from a cc? Or have you been floating around and the parents feel the smitty print on the sofa may become permanent after an ill-conceived gig at the university is up?</p>
<p>So, you’re 21. Be an adult and discuss your life plans with the parents. It’s reasonable to say that when and if you come home, you support yourself. Also your school expenses are something to negotiate. It’s an investment in your future your parents may or may not be able (or willing) to contribute to.</p>
<p>Look at the big picture and include your parents in that vision.</p>
<p>No offense, but it seems like your parents are overbearing and overprotective IMO. </p>
<p>I know it sounds scary, but moving out and finding a job happens to everyone. I think that you should take the initiative and get yourself into the dorms. You’d become more self-reliant, and will be better prepared for when you get your own place to live. Plus, the dorm life is essential to the college experience and you’d be missing a lot if you’d have to commute to school everyday. </p>
<p>Commuting that long and spending all your earnings on gas/oil is a horrible way to spend your college years.</p>
<p>If you ever really needed a place to live, your parents will take you in -if only for a short while. So, I wouldn’t worry about something like that. </p>
<p>In your own words, I severely suggest that you “move into the dorms and [go] on with [your] life.”</p>
<p>thats a crazy long commute</p>
<p>definitely go into dorms. To put it bluntly; You’re 21, not 16 anymore. Staying with your parents is certainly unnecessary and will not help you move on with your life. Plus, 108 miles one-way commute!!! That is 1/6th of your daily life wasted driving/paying for gas (about 4 hours driving a day). How is staying at home even an option for you?</p>
<p>your dad need to learn how to let go of things, if you alright twenty one, you need to experiment the out side world. this is what college for, moving forward and away from the family. i seem too many kids that are totally over protected by their parents and when they go out to the real world, they are not ready for all the nasty things.</p>
<p>You’re 21, move out and stop relying on your parents.</p>
<p>108 miles is an unreasonably long commute..</p>
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<p>Then I guess you’re out for good. You’re 21, it’s about time anyway.</p>
<p>I cannot emphasize enough how bad an idea that commute is. I would not even consider it.</p>
<p>108 miles would kill you. especially since you say you’ll be paying for gas anyway. </p>
<p>do you really want to spend almost 4 hours driving every day?</p>
<p>If that commute is one way think about this. Lets say your car gets a pretty average 25 mpg. That’s 8 gallons of gas per day. Driving 5 days a week you’re going through 40 gallons of gas a week. Assuming 4.25 weeks a month that is about 170 gallons of gas a month. Just at current prices that is $680 on gas a month, WELL below the average renting price of a dorm or apartment around where I am at least. Also factor in how much 4 hours of your day is worth to you, car maintenience, the chances of an accident and the fact you won’t be a 21 year old living with your parents and it’s pretty obvious what you should do. Heck, even if the mileage you gave was round trip thats still $340 a month, and when you factor in the car maintenience and the fact you’ll have 2 extra hours a day to sleep/study/hang out with friends you’ll actually be able to make by not communting it’s STILL a really, really easy choice.</p>
<p>edit: MOVE. OUT.</p>
<p>edit2: Are you a girl by the way? I don’t know a single dad who doesn’t constantly look forward to the day their son moves away, haha.</p>
<p>yes i am a girl :o)</p>
<p>i’m unsure of a couple of things. are you going to be a freshman at this school? is that really a one way trip or a round trip that’s 108 miles? </p>
<p>the advice will still be the same, that is you should use this opportunity to dorm and then start living your own life. it really isn’t the worst thing in the world. you might even find that after dorming for a year, you want to move off campus because it’ll be cheaper. definitely dorm though. you’ll regret if you don’t, and i don’t say it because dorming is any big deal or anything like that, but only because it sounds like you had your mind set on dorming and are backtracking from that plan because of OTHER people, not your own decision. It may even be better if you dorming with a random person.</p>
<p>Whatever you do, don’t stay home.</p>
<p>Unless you have really good reasons to think that (a) your dad will actually stick to his guns on this <em>and</em> (b) you are not going to be in a position to pay for your own rent (but your parents are willing to pay for gas, car maintenance, and a rental when yours is in the shop during finals week), or you think the sacrifice is worth it for reasons of your own, I’d skip the dorm and get an apartment near campus. You will not be required to leave for the Christmas break in case your father won’t let you back in, you’ll have 4 extra hours every day that you have classes so you can either get a job or spend more time studying (or, if you can afford it, having fun), and that kind of ultimatum is a bad sign when it comes to the future of your relationship.</p>
<p>I do not envy you. You’re in a situation that is at best uncomfortable. And obviously you’re the only one who can take everything into consideration and make the best choice for you. But that’s what I would do.</p>
<p>Girl. Move out of the house, do not look around at what your parents have to say. Holding these threats over your head, is just totally wrong. Your father is just selfish, if he can’t see how 108 miles driving will "kill " you. If you do not have money, get more in certified student loans to help cover for room&board or apartment off campus. </p>
<p>I am surprised that you even consider staying at house! Do not do it, you will really regret it. Btw don’t you have aunts, cousins, grandparents who could support you and perhaps help talk in your parents?</p>
<p>Move out!! Driving 108 miles to school every day is a killer. Besides, you’re 21–time to go out on your own.</p>
<p>I drove 120 miles two or three times a week to school for 2 1/2 years.</p>
<p>I can now drive I-94 blindfolded though.</p>
<p>Now that I am very, very close to earning my degree, I probably wouldn’t have chosen to live on campus. I probably would have attended a different school.</p>
<p>i would say go into the dorms and if your parents really mean it, then go on your own – seriously 108 miles is way to far for a daily commute (although benstewart did it) for me at least</p>