<p>Digi, my close friend's son whom I have known since he was a preschooler went to OU. Just graduated. He did live in a single and it was so tiny that his mother sat and cried when she saw it. He was in one of the substance free dorms and had air conditioning , an essential for him as he is asthmatic. His second year, he was an RA and got a much nicer single as RAs tend to get. Thereafter, he and a bunch of guys rented off campus and my understanding is that this is typical there. He did have a single all 4 years which his mother felt was important as he is easily influenced by suggestions to do things other than work, and she felt that a roommate was just an unneeded distraction. He did not need any help socializing at all.</p>
<p>When I was a senior in college, I moved into a single in a group of five singles within a suite with a common bathroom, kitchen, and dining room. It gave me the privacy I personally needed while making it unavoidable that I'd be spending time with my suitemates. For me it was the best of both worlds. My daughter, however, was very nervous at the prospect of having a single room at the college program she attended this past summer. She didn't know anyone on the program and would have preferred a double, though the particular institution had next to no doubles. As it turned out, everyone kept their doors open and made friends so it all worked out fine.</p>
<p>my daughter had a room freshman year that was just 2 doors down from the common room so everyone had to go by her room on the way out. As she is moderately social for a Reedie she devised a sign that indicated whether she was in or not, and whether it was safe to knock. Most times I think she had her door open, but they apparently gave her a single as she has ADD and needed it to study.</p>
<p>my mom had a single for a semester. She did a four year degree in three years so she needed to study goofy hours and didn't want a roommate, but she is still friends with the other ones-except the one who was a smoker, music major(up all hours practicing the saxaphone) and killed her goldfish one weekend. The others were all good.</p>
<p>My son asked for a single and it's been worth the extra money. (What's a few extra thousand when you're already looking at $180,000? lol) He's at MIT and is a confirmed night owl. He can study whenever he wants without worrying about waking or bother a roommate. He's also a very light sleeper and worried that a roommate would keep him up. I know there are some useful life skills to be learned living with a roommate, but we decided to give this a try freshman year. </p>
<p>His room is very small, but he doesn't have much except for computer equipment anyway. They have to cook their meals, so he spends a lot of time with his floormates cooking, shopping and just hanging out. They cook meals together several nights a week. He's made friends and isolation hasn't been a problem. He plans to stay in his dorm all 4 years (that's common there), and would be happy to stay in his tiny little room.</p>
<p>S had a double this year in a suite. The advantages: there were only four of them to share a bathroom, he was not isolated though he and his suitemates are "friendly" rather than "friends", two of them ended up in some of his classes which made some collaborations easier, he's had to develop at least a little consideration in terms of picking up his dirty socks if nothing else. He's talking about a single next year.</p>
<p>I'd check out the reputation of the dorms with the singles. On every campus where there is an element of choice, certain dorms attract more social kids, while others attract the more studious. It's one thing to be in a single freshman year in a dorm like Garland's son, where everyone keeps their doors open and they bond as a unit. It's another to be where everyone keeps their doors closed and chose singles because they are uncomfortable or disinterested forming friendships. First semester, especially, friendships are built around dorms, though that evolves.</p>
<p>I'd say frosh year sharing is better for the same reason I'd recommend dorms over suites or apartments. The key to getting acclimated and building a network of friends is getting out there and doing it! It can be too easy in a single to shut out the world. </p>
<p>As for those concerned about the bad roomate scenario, that does happen. But unless it is truly abusive it can actually be a positive. What adult in the working world doesn't have to work with someone they dislike (whether it be a coworker or boss)? Who doesn't have the occasional conflict at home in even the most loving family? Learning to stand up for your rights and resolve differences diplomatically is a valuable life-skill and having a less-than-perfect roomate gives an 18-year-old a chance to try it out and learn what works and what doesn't.</p>
<p>Depends very much on the personality and preferences of the student. My college had adjoining singles with connecting door--best of both worlds. Dartmouth has suites of small singles with common bathroom. My daughter would really like a single but there are many kids who would thrive on the instant companionship of a roommate. Also dorms with mostly singles may attract more eccentrics and those who get down to a lot of serious studying on a regular basis.</p>
<p>I think that it depends upon the kid. My daughter, an only child who has always had her own room was really looking forward to having a roommate in college. She lives in a 3 room quad (2 double bedrooms, living room and bath) and loves her room mates. She has friends who live in the freshmen dorms communal baths, etc and knew that she did not want that for housing.</p>
<p>While she has not totally nixed the idea of living in a single, her preference is living in a 3 room double, 4 room triple or 5 room quad (where everyone has their own bedroom, a living room and bath)</p>
<p>My son was given a single in a 4 person suite his freshman year and we had to pay the extra cost. It wasn't even on his list of 3 options and something they told us they rarely gave to freshmen. We thought it was unfair to make us pay for something we did not even sign on the dotted line for. When we brought that up, they gave my son the option of a double in an old dorm which he did not want ,so we compromised and asked him to pay the difference.
I was of the thinking that learning to live with someone is a good experience so I was leery of the single room. It ended up being a very positive experience and he like others mentioned here made good friends with other students on his floor. This year he is getting the benefit of learning to live with roommates who steal your food and who would rather play video games than watch the debate. Actually, his suitemates stole his food last year too. Nice guys but kind of clueless. . He is in a six person suite with a double bedroom and his roommate is very neat, but he says he is usually the one to pick up the common room. He says he can relate to my frustrations of keeping a clean house. ( Hmm, he understands but somehow it hasn't turned into anything productive- his stuff is everywhere!) </p>
<p>I do hear many awful roommate stories so I think it is probably worth the extra money. It is one less thing to worry about in a year when there are so many adjustments.</p>
<p>Thanks to all you guys for the input. I honestly don't even know if that will be a freshman choice or not. jamimom's comment about the smallness of the OU singles worries me, but like I said, it won't matter that much freshman year. And in subsequent years an off-campus apartment is another choice.</p>
<p>Another dorm question...
Roommate in same major or different major? My D's housing form asks this question. Any opinions?</p>
<p>different major
You are going to get to know people in your major anyway, a different major will open up to a new part of campus</p>
<p>"Dartmouth has suites of small singles with common bathroom. My daughter would really like a single but there are many kids who would thrive on the instant companionship of a roommate".</p>
<p>Hi Pyewacket,</p>
<p>Sorry I did not fully read your post.</p>
<p>Is your daughter already at Dartmouth, or applying. As for freshmen, they really don't have a lot of choice as to where they want to live with the exception of applying to live in East Wheelock (where my D lives) , or substance free. Over half of the freshmen will live in either the River or the Choates.</p>
<p>I think that, in the vast majority of cases, freshmen should have roommates. Rather than an improved social life, however, I think the most valuable thing learned by living with a roommate is compromise. Living with another person and learning the give-and-take is by far the best lesson I learned from living with a roommate. Sure, you can say that your son or daughter has already learned it, but I don't think anyone's really learned it until they've spent a long time living with at least one other person. </p>
<p>Again, just my opinion, but the roommate system is an important part of the college experience for a reason.</p>
<p>Not one of my roommates became a close friend of mine, nor did others in my major; rather, my friends came from the non-academic activities: outdoors club, political club, and other types of involvement. Since I also volunteered with VISTA and did some campaign work for Maynard Jackson, many of the friends I made during college weren't even students at my school (Ga. Tech).</p>
<p>"Living with another person and learning the give-and-take is by far the best lesson I learned from living with a roommate. Sure, you can say that your son or daughter has already learned it, but I don't think anyone's really learned it until they've spent a long time living with at least one other person. "</p>
<p>If you've ever had a psychotic, certified schizophrenic as a roommate, you might feel differently about this. That was the worse; I also had just a plain jerk--smoked, TV all night, talking on phone with boyfiriend all night, etc. Not interested in compromise, nor was the RA. Your room shouldn't be a nightmare you're afraid to enter. </p>
<p>You don't have to sleep in the same room with coworkers; you go home at the end of the day. Roommates are great when they work out, but when they don't, they can be torture.</p>
<p>I had wonderful roommate experiences. All of my former roommates are still dear friends. But then after the freshman year one, I picked them myself. We all had so little money those days, that having a single room was not an option, and when we rented off campus we would get a two bedroom with 4 of us in it and always 2 in a room. However, if you do draw the roommate from hell, it can really ruin your semester. Literally ruin it. Because even in some of the worst cases, it takes the bureaucrats in housing a long time to move someone. You can drastically bring down the chances of this happening by having a single freshman year, since you can handpick your roommate thereafter. A single does not have to be a 4 year choice. BUt I have noticed these days that when kids move off campus these days, they tend to get their own bedrooms.</p>
<p>my niece had three room mates assignment to her freshman year, and two assigned sophmore. Junior year she again had a room mate and it was so difficult that they were forced to find her a single room. She was ostracized for being different and I am sure her difficulties with roommates contributed to her feeling like there was something the matter with her.</p>
<p>It could just be the fit of the school but my daughter who has been in a single, has many more friends from college than my niece.
I think that colleges especially small colleges are building more single dorms now to meet the demand. I know I would prefer to control my social life at least to that extent. Many opportunities to get to know dorm mates, especially with theme type activities, don't have to be breathing down someones neck to get to know them.</p>
<p>Would anyone mind saying what colleges your kids attend so that I can get more of a feel for which colleges have singles as options? I had the roommate from hell my freshman year in college and it takes a lot of the fun out of what's supposed to be a great year. It's been thirty years and if she's not in a mental institution by now, there's no justice in the world. I also had a roommate in grad school [assigned] who told my mother one fine Sunday morning at about 10:00, when I hadn't come in the night before, that I was skiing. I'd never skiied in my life. I had to then concoct a story about where I skiied, how I liked it, etc. [The roomie couldn't have just said I was at breakfast? :-)] Years later, when I actually skiied for the first time with my husband, I had to remember when describing the trip to my mother that oh, yes, I had skiied before.</p>