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<p>That is not what is “unfair”. What is shameful on the parents’ part is leading the OP to believe that they would fund her college, but then change their mind late (after application season, especially after an ED admission). If they did not want to fund the OP’s college (or put restrictions on such funding), they should have said so before applications were due (rather than letting the OP apply ED to a college that they do not approve of).</p>
<p>The only fully ethical choices (in the context of ED) that the OP and parents have are Columbia (the ED admission) or not attend college at all (or maybe open-admission community college), since other college applications should have been cancelled upon receipt of the ED admission.</p>