Downsizing -- pros/cons?

True if it’s garbage (clothes with stains or holes or old VCR tapes), not nearly so much when it’s useful - at least according to the kids from my high school who worked at Community Aid and Goodwill.

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Just think that the line between garbage and useful varies. And that is based on discussions I had with our local goodwill as part of cleaning out my dads house recently. We donated a lof of things (had 4 different places come out and made many trips to donation centers) but still filled a 40 yard dumpster. Andit wasn’t clothes with stains or holes or VCR tapes. Was stuff that could have been used by someone but no one wanted it. And not for a lack of trying.

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My parent’s last house was in a small vibrant town in NH. (Peterborough) There was a master bedroom and shower downstairs, big living room, dining room and a sun room on the first floor and two bedrooms and a bathroom with a tub upstairs. Simple Cape Cod design. Full basement for all their extra stuff. My brother lives in the same town so was able to help them meet new people and get settled. It worked out very well though my Dad grumbled about moving north instead of south.

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What you needed was a Hoarder. That’s how I quickly got rid of the rest of my mom’s stuff… I felt bad about it briefly. Even with the Hoarder I had to more or less insist that some of the stuff was truly garbage.

Sadly, the Hoarder also never moved the couch indoors, so the elements ruined it and it’s something we could have donated, but I was too unmotivated to care at the time. It was easier to put on the UHaul (sigh).

ETA: I agree with you that sometimes you do all you can, but come to a point where you can’t anymore.

We are having to pay $232 for 5x5 climate controlled unit. It was $179 but jacked up within 4 months. We prepaid for 2 years and will try to pitch everything before the 2 years expires. It’s for my nonprofit—handouts and records. Our rentals are crazy expensive in HI. :frowning:

We called a hoarder. And a second hand place. And two pickers. And there were limits to how much they would take. To a certain degree (and it likely varies by location), much of the donation market is to help people feel better about not throwing away their stuff. When much of what is donated gets pitched anyway. Reminds me of my grandmother more than 2 decades ago when she was moving. She couldn’t throw away anything. We would have been there for weeks arguing with her about things. So we just started telling her we knew someone would take x or y. And then took it to the dumpster. Made her feel better and we got her place emptied. We have donation centers around us that were closing for periods of time because they have too much stuff. Everyone thinks there are uses for stuff and to a certain degree its true but there is a limit to it. If it makes you feel better to think someone took it and is using it right now, no harm in that I suppose.

Definitely go through your things before you more them to storage and pay to store them. To me nothing worse than paying to store something for x amount of time and tossing it without ever having done anything with it. If there is time that is needed to sort things out, time to process emotionally with a family member who has passed, etc. that makes sense to me. But once you are past that, I would lean towards pitching things out. When in doubt, toss it out. Otherwise your kids will be doing that 2-3 decades from now.

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I don’t think I’ve made the pitch on this thread, but I LOVE my Buy Nothing FB group. There’s also an app, but I haven’t used it.

For some people (see dh), it’s easier to get rid of things when you know they are going to a good home. And for me, if no one out there wants it, that tells me it’s really junk. Because let me tell you, people will take just about anything. I like the sustainability of it, not putting more stuff in landfills.

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My mil has a friend who had a large storage unit for 15 - 18 years. I don’t think they kept much that was in it at all when they finally went through it.

I have a childhood friend who has not one, but two storage units. Won’t get rid of anything. All his mother’s and grandmothers’ things. They have a crap ton of, “stuff,” in their home and out of state football condo as well. He is VERY attached to his things. When I suggested he clean and clear out for the benefit of his two daughters he said, “I had to clean out my parents’ crap. They can do the same with mine.” I don’t get it, but I know not to mention it again.

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I have a relative who has kept 2-3 storage areas for literally decades. There’s very little worth anything in them. I told her she should sell the stuff eons ago, but was rebuffed, even when I did the math and told her she could buy the same stuff over multiple times when/if she needed it. I was told I just didn’t understand.

It wouldn’t bother me if she could afford them. Most of us have stuff we don’t need, but have anyway simply because we want it. We generally don’t bug others to pay our bills though.

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I remember in my 20’s, my roommate’s parents moved to Florida after selling a big house in the Boston area. They spent all holidays there, and my friend was really hurt that they downsized so much there wasn’t really room for the kids to comfortably stay with them. I kept that in mind when we considered downsizing. The kids were launched and we loved our house but the garden upkeep was becoming onerous for my husband and the spaces were not being used. We’re in our mid and late 60’s as we had our kids really late in life. We decided to stay in our adopted Northern Florida where we’d moved for work 23 years ago. Kids aren’t here but they love the lifestyle for visits, they have high school friends here, and we’ve made a life here. So I scouted around for a couple of years. We moved 3 miles down the road and size wise 25% smaller in square footage but TINY yard and beautiful water view that we don’t need to maintain. It’s perfect for us. The kids love it. My husband’s study turns into another guest room with blow up queen mattress on the rare occasion when everyone is here together at the same time which is literally2x annually.
I love seeing where my Northern friends are choosing to retire to.

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Having taken care of my mother in my house for the last years of her life, I recognize all the home deficiencies. We built ramps, put in a stairlift, handrails, etc. to make it easier for her to get around first with a rollator, then a wheelchair. But she needs assistance to get in the bathroom (door not wide enough) and the bathtub (not low enough). That’s when we realize we need to find an age-in-place house for our next home. Any renovation will only be a temporary fix.

We are still able-bodied with plenty of time, but the saying "by the time you need to move, it may be too late " is very true. We are in no hurry but if the right house comes up, we will jump.

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ccreader - out of curiosity, what type of house are you looking for? One with all the accessability stuff built in, or maybe flexibility to modify? I’m trying to think all that through also…

We look for a single-floor living home plan. Open floor plan preferably for easy maneuver as we age. At least one bedroom with a step-in shower, the kitchen, dining area and the laundry room on the same floor. Direct access from either the garage or front door with no steps. If steps are involved, the landing should have enough room for a ramp when needed.

Because my husband wants a view, good chance that the house will be built into a hillside with a walkout basement. Early in the search, we saw a house with an uphill driveway that goes directly into the garage for access to the lower level or can park to the side for direct access to the upper level thru the front door. Both floors have their own bedroom(s), showers, washer/dryers(!) and the basement plumbed for an additional kitchen.

At the time I thought it was too much wasted space since we will never use the lower level. But looking back, it will have been good as a separate living space for a live-in aide when the time comes. We would have lost out on the bid anyway but it’s good to look around and make notes.

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My parents’ house (that just sold and will be torn down) was built into a hill in Austin and has that arrangement. It worked out well when it got too hard for my folks to get down to the garage.

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I am another big user of the Buy Nothing group. So far, I’ve only gotten a couple of things from there but have given away pretty much something every week. I put the stuff out for people at the end of my driveway - no contact pickup. And it’s nice to see some of the stuff that I haven’t used at all (or not used in a long time) find a home.

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That’s a beautiful house. I am always sad to see a perfectly good home torn down. It happens frequently around here too to make place for one huge home or multiple houses.

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If we downsize to a house that needs work I will definitely be looking to adapt a bathroom for ease of use down the road - threshold-free shower with seat and hand sprays (which would like any way) and wider doors and more spacious toilet room. Also entry with few steps and multiple bedrooms on first floor.

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Thanks for sharing, ccreader. That all makes sense. I’ve seen a few videos on accessible houses - they seem very custom, but I can see where some houses would be more easily modified than others.

Sorry about your parents’ house being torn down, MaineLonghorn! There are so many memories wrapped into a parent’s home.

Thank you. It’s been even harder than I expected. My dad had my grandfather and great uncle build it. And it was designed by Dad’s college roommate. I was only 10 when we moved in but I have so many memories of its design and construction. The architect even made a model of it so we could visualize it. I assumed it would be around my whole life.

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Lots of history there, MaineLonghorn! Amazing that your dad’s roommate designed it and your grandfather & uncle built it. It’s a beautiful place.