Many buildings are smoke free and all tenants must sign a smoke free waiver with their lease. In those cases, if a tenant does violate these terms the landlord has something to use against them (they can be kicked out).
Which often has people smoking on their balconies since thatās usually an exception. The condo weāre in is smoke free - with ashtrays on the balcony. Fortunately for us, the smokers of the first week have since left.
We live in an 1850 sf house and while we rarely use the LR/DR, I wish our bedrooms were bigger.
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I would actually like to upsize our yard and have a bigger garden, maybe animals, etc, but for now we are happy with a reasonable size home thatās fully paid off and an easy drive to places. Our taxes are high though. A lot of our neighbors have aged in place in our neighborhood.
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Thanks Bunsen. We are currently using an air purifier (different brand, but highly rated). May be helping, but if so, barely. Other items are beginning to absorb the odors as well. Sigh. Iām hoping once they leave, it wonāt be months before getting back to normal. (Iām highly sensitive to smoke and other odors. Iām not sure it is as much a problem for most).
@kiddie: Agree about the lease, but a landlord has to prove it first. Thatās tough with any kind of smoking. Tenant rights prevent a landlord from access without sufficient (48 hour?) notice, and much can be masked in that time. In this particular situation, tenant is leaving in 2 months, so it is not worth eviction issues for a landlord. We could potentially push, but not worth ruining our good relationship either.
Sorry for the side-track. Iām letting off steam here (should probably have posted on the āsay it hereā thread). But definitely a word of caution about one downsizing issue. Back to other pros/cons.
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@kjofkw Iām glad you raised it. Itās a really great point and one I had not considered. If we move I want it to be a one time deal. Iāll be 69 this year and my husband turns 80. The move wilk be a challenge for us both I absolutely donāt want to have to another move. I had been seriously considering a condo but am leaning more towards a small 2 bed house with a small garden where I can grow some tropical flower 
and sit out and enjoy them and not worry about cigarette smoke.
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That is a good point kjofkw and swimcatsmom. Itās not just the work/logistics of moving that I would like to avoid twice (unless necessary). Itās the idea of investing in a community (friends, organizations, professional connections, etc.) for years and then moving to a totally new place to have to do it again - when even older.
Having the energy, bandwidth, physical capacity for lots of activity is one of the big reasons Iām thinking of relocating before retirement age (even if it involves a job change). I know there are many, many successful relocations by folks who are much older - I just think it would be easier for me to make friends by joining hiking clubs, etc. - and would rather not do that twice (including once in my later years!).
All of which is why the research (including the great insights on this thread!) is so important to me - want to get it right (as much as possible) the first time!!
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We downsized last year to a smaller house in the same town. Weāre in our mid and late 60ās. Iād say in our neighborhood now the new people moving in are all empty nesters, ranging in age from 52 - 65. I think thereās a window of whenās a good time to do it. We tried to get my mother down here when she turned 80 and she just didnāt have the stamina or interest to do it. The idea was completely overwhelming to her and we totally understoodā¦ā¦p.s. even though we only moved 3 miles away from the house we raised ours family in it was incredibly exhausting and time consumingā¦ especially in that I insisted we go through so much of the stuff weād accumulated over the years ā¦ā¦files paperwork, furniture etc. I have a thing about the kids not having to do for us what we had to do with Momās house and all of the stuff in it.
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I donāt know that densely packed houses are any better when it comes to smoking if your neighbor smokes and the winds tend to send it your direction. Both my mom and dad had that problem and had to keep windows closed when they would have liked them open for fresh air.
Right now weāre in a second condo we rented due to having two sets of kids with us. I love it. It has a wrap around balcony with floor to (almost) ceiling sliding glass doors on two sides giving it an astounding view of St John, some āsmallā cays, and Tortola (BVI). If it were for sale, H and I would be checking our options. Unfortunately, we only have this one for 4 nights - then will be returning to our āused to really like itā option for the rest of the month.
The good thing is itās showing us what we want when we buy. View is pretty much everything for us. We can live with almost anything else, including noise.
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My husband was watching real estate videos of St. John the other night. Gorgeous, gorgeous!
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It is gorgeous. Years ago, DH and I rented a house called Hakuna Matata. It was one of the most beautiful places Iāve ever gone to. That was a delicious splurge.
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For the most part, we lived a 4 hour or so drive from my parents (except for the first 2.5 years of ShawSonās life when we were 30 mins drive at not at rush hour). We were a 12 hour drive/1 hour plane flight from ShawWifeās parents. My mother has extra fond feelings still from those first 2.5 years and she was thrilled that he waited to announce his engagement until he and fiancee flew to her to announce.
Both our kids have been on the other side of the country for a number of years, but ShawD is moving back in 3 months. We are thrilled. In addition to being a great person, she is effervescently fun. Before she moved across country, we used to do Taco Tuesdays at a restaurant near her work almost every week and would see her for other events. That was a great frequency ā we have really busy lives.
If one of our kids ever moves into the other wing of our house with their children (none of whom are on their way), we would have much greater frequency of interaction.
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A word of caution for anyone considering a new build in a collaborative community.
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Interesting article. Looks like it was a cool concept. So sad for those who lost their money.
It does make me also wonder about resale risks in collaborative communities, even for those that do initially work out. Even condo associations and decision-making can get complicated, and collaborative living could have even more concerns. Still I do like the concept (small, green units with shared community enter). Maybe some deep pocket firm (or nonprofit) could someday build this kind of community as rentals, with mixed age groups.
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Oh boy, Bunsen - thatās a frightening read!
Iāve been thinking about the possible downsides of co-housing recently. While the upsides seem great (built-in community, caring folks of mixed ages supporting each other) - what if you donāt get along with one or more people? Unlike neighbors (whom you can distance from if you donāt get along) - you are really forced to co-exist on a - seemingly - pretty engaged and potentially regular/intimate-type way (shared meals and expenses and decision-making?). Iām not quite sure Iād like that sort of locked-in arrangement.
Still a very interesting concept and it sounds like some of the Connecticut groupās issues were somewhat uniqueā¦
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I wouldnāt necessarily want to downsize, we currently live in 3500 sq ft, but I would like a space more oriented for us and not a houseful of kids. Our 3rd and 4th are in 11th and 8th grade. I canāt see wanting all of these bedrooms or the kidsā bonus room after theyāre gone, but Iād like a big kitchen, family room, etcā¦
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The collaborative living sounds like a wonderful idea in many ways. So many people are isolated and lonely so having a built in community like that sounds like a great thing. Iād probably hate it though. Iām a big introvert. I need a certain amount of social interaction but I need a lot of time to myself. Having to socialize for large chunks of time every day would be my worst nightmare.
My SIL and D are starting their lives in CA in a similar living arrangement. Itās a large house. Each person/couple has their own room and share the common spaces. They have a chore rota - cooking one week, outdoor chores another, etc. He is already there and she will be in a few months. When they first were thinking of the move I thought it was the homeowner renting out rooms to help with the mortgage but apparently it is a collaborative community concept that they hope to expand in the future.
I kinda wish I had the personality to enjoy that. I think Iād actually be extremely stressed out by it.
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I hear you, swimcatsmom! Some of my friends thrive on parties, happy hours, get-to-gethers. I enjoy those, but in smaller doses. Personality is really something to think about in light of this co-housing concept.
One thought I had - what if there was some sort of mid-point? Like, a collaborative community where people agree to help each other out but there are not enforced rules, co-decision-making, everyone has their own space? Kind of like a friendly neighborhood, but with some shared expectations that you can rely on (i.e., if one goes to the hospital, others will care for pets and take care of house, etc.)
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Iām an introvert, but my happiest living situation was when I moved into my husbandās grad student shared house when he was at Caltech. So first itās a house full of nerds though relatively extroverted ones for the most part. We all had our own rooms the rest of the house was shared. I got permission to put an architectural table in the very large living room. We had an eating group that consisted of house members plus some extras - some were girlfriends, others were people in the department. There were about 12 regulars. We ate together five days a week and were responsible for cooking (including washing up) a little less than once a week. We had the best food! I still cook from the cookbook we put together of everyoneās best dishes. I canāt remember how we took care of cleaning common spaces, I know Caltech mowed the grass. I loved the built in community and the dinner conversations. I could always retreat to my room.
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Now that weāre back home Iāve affirmed that I, personally, canāt move into a condo or city permanently. I really, really like my space to roam and peace & quiet (nature sounds arenāt ānoiseā to me). I can go out at midnight, alone, and have no worries. I can walk a mile and still be near our property line.
I love Big Water too, and donāt mind condos and associated noise for a period of time.
We will have to snowbird or simply stick with wandering and figure out where to keep investment money elsewhere.
H could be ready to ditch all of it and move onto a liveaboard sailboat. My head physically couldnāt handle living on a boat.
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