I doubt I would be able to convince my wife to move to Oklahoma. Weather is better, but folks have gotten a bit crazy down there.
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So, good news is, we are selling our long time family home, bad news is, my spouse has a radically different idea of what ādownsizing means.ā
In my mind, it means, if we havenāt used something in 5 years and cannot imagine wanting it in 5 years, no matter how fond our memories are of it, we get rid of it ā whether that means donating it so someone else can enjoy it, or selling it, or just ditching it. Of course, we keep the family memorabilia, but it does not mean we keep random furniture or items just because we can.
Their view is, if we can ever imagine a world in which we might wish it were there to see again, then we keep it.
I keep thinking, that their approach means, ākicking it down the roadā for our kids, to have to deal with, whether it is grandparentsā silver or furniture or whatever. This is going to be a long process. . . .
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Thatās whatās happening here. People are staying put, so there is just a serious lack of inventory. Realtors here are saying that they have never seen the Dallas market behave like this before-houses getting 40-50 offers, people putting in offers for all cash and quick close, waiving inspections, waiving insufficient bank appraisals and making up the difference with cash, etc.
I really feel for the young people who just cannot get their foot in the door because they donāt have that kind of cash.
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We moved 2 miles down the road to downsize 25% of house footprint. No big lawn and gardens to deal with and much less of HOA fees, etc. I completely understand what youāre dealing with as my husband is EXACTLY like yours. Plus every time a family member of his died heād say,ā Donāt worry, Iāll take it!ā And boxes and boxes would arrive. I was frantic as having a lot of crap around is my idea of hell. I canāt stand it. Meanwhile we have young kids and heās working and traveling 60 hours a week so no time to go through the junk. Fast forward to downsizing and retirement where heās got the time and NO PLACE to put anything. We made a deal to put it in storage for one year only as storage here is expensive and then in March the year was up and we started going through it.Iām cut and dry but heās very attached to things and gets anxious literally when Iād say,āWe havenāt used this lamp and just because it was great 20 years ago in 2 houses ago doesnāt mean we need it nowā. Two things helped me. I realized that this was an emotional THING with him that had no relation to reality and I had to be incredibly patient but with time boundaries and limitations. 2nd thing that worked with him was donating and selling things to people who were thrilled to have some of our stuff. He actually started really getting into it, with young couples taking away their new found treasure. I know that weāll never get rid of everything Iād like to but I have to look at the immense progress weāve made and be happy with that.Hope this helps.
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Yes, my dh is much more willing for me to put things on Buy Nothing then take them to Goodwill.
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Looks like we are going to use PODs to move our things to New Mexico since we donāt have a place to stay yet and with them, our stuff can stay in storage in the PODs until we have a place to put it all. Has anyone used them before?
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We used PODS (or something like them) all the way back in 1999 when our new house was still being finished. No issues. Our stuff survived in them for 3 months just fine. I made sure everything was packed tightly. PODs were quickly picked up and then delivered in the date we specified.
My nephew did when they moved from Boston to Texas. It took them longer to pack up than they expected, but they worked fine.
Ds and DIL used a generic pod when they last moved. Are you packing it or hiring people?
I think we will do the majority of the packing and then hire some strong people for a couple of hours of loading.
We learned some helpful hints when we were packing their pod. Mainly, get lots of tensions straps and strap as you go. Also, check the clearance of the door when its shut so that you donāt end up thinking you have more space than you do.
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D and SIL used U Haul boxes for their move. Similar to PODs, but cheaper and wooden.
Regarding the taxes on selling a place, my accountant is still amazed that I paid taxes on my appreciated house because I am single. I had plenty of expenses to add back in, but it was not enough. That was before the current housing boom.
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I am concerned that home ownership will only be available to some ākidsā. Like CC kids. But not for many kids! I feel like the divide is getting worse.
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Itās not the divide is getting worse, my sister for years had to rent a room from somebody, now she owns 3 houses in California. Sheās never a CC kid either. She never earned a lot of money, barely crack the 6-figure salary even today, never able to contribute the max to 401k, never got married either, sheās still working today at the age of 67. So it depends on how badly the CC kids and non-CC kids want something.
I think itās still doable for young people to buy a house but they need to lower their expectations drastically and put in a lot of sweat equity.
My D can be considered a CC kid since we gifted her money on and off over the years. But she managed to save enough of that to put a down payment of less than 10%, and it took 2 salaries (average, not high tech) to qualify for a tiny 100 yo, 2bdrm 1 bath. They call it the ugliest house on an ugly block of LA! They are very handy and do a lot of DIY projects, floors, moldings, shelving, and painting. They moved an interior wall to make one bedroom more usable. They managed to sell the palm trees in the yard and used the money for landscaping.
I heard similar stories with our friendsā children, even in overheated Seattle real estate. Some of the homes would have been candidates for teardown (in my eyes), but they lived there and fixed up slowly once the money is saved up. Kudos to them. We never had to work that hard on a house when we started out.
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You can even buy a house with 3% down now, the interest is higher but you canāt have them both ways.
I think it depends on where you live. Itās very tough in certain cities but others are more affordable.
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Thatās clever, we chopped our palm tree down, itās a lot of work. It was a huge Sago palm which is ver expensive.
@Midwestmomofboys, I found that many of the things we might want to keep, we keep for sentimental rather than functional reasons. The object has value largely because it reminds me of an event or a time period that has emotional resonance (drawings by kids, books we read to them, etc.). But, in most cases, a photo of the object has the same emotional resonance, so we can get rid of many physical objects.
@newpreironic, weāve got a pod in our driveway right now to hold furniture and appliances while we renovate. No problems that I can see (yet).
@DrGoogle123, I suspect buying in parts of the Bay Area or the Boston area may be out of reach. The median house price in the exurb in which we raised our kids is, I think, well over $1 MM and not that many young couples could afford to buy a house here. Just did a search and there were only four houses under $1MM and all tiny. We moved here explicitly to raise our kids as we thought it would be a great place to do so and it was ā both kids have said they would like to raise their (not yet existent) kids) here.
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People, including myself, tend to focus on home prices. Butā¦ with interest rates so much lower than in our newlywed days (and of course salaries higher), the difference is less. Nonetheless I do think the challenge is greater now, especially in the higher cost of living areas.
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