My parents bought a home when they retired. And moved to Tennessee where they’ve been very happy. They were in a small ranch for 24 years. My mom is 85 and just moved to independent living where I hope this will be the last move. My dad passed away a decade ago.
My in laws downsized once their children were out of the house. Rented for a couple of years and bought their present home. A ranch house. That they’ve been in for about the same amount of time as my parents. They are 86 and 87, the house upkeep is becoming a lot. They think about moving but where?
My former sister in law, her parents sold their home after retiring and moved literally across the street into a ranch house. The lawn upkeep was too much and so 5 years ago they moved to a condo. Will this be their last move? Not sure as they are having health issues.
So to me, even though I hope I can age in place where I am. I won’t be sure. If I live long enough, I suspect there will be another move. What that will be will be different than what I have now. Want now. And frankly depends on if my husband is still here or not.
What I do know now. Both of the kids live in big cities. That are not very senior friendly. Or affordable for me coming from rural Michigan. I can plan but I can’t foresee the future.
A knee replacement at age 61 was quite the object lesson in assessing aging in place needs! No bathroom or bedroom on the main floor and not being able to do stairs was a logistical and personal mess.
No ranch houses around here; land is too expensive for a single level house. Moving near my family (which would be a cheaper place to live, though is politically, socially and religiously fraught) is a non-starter, esp for my H.
The Phila area (H and I lived there in the 80s) or Delaware have possibilities. If S2 and FDIL decide to split time between here and UA, though, maybe we stay put and go multigenerational. If I were solo, I’d consider other options – but when it comes down to it, there are many good reasons to stay in the DC area (doctors being a big part of that). It’s also convenient for both my sons to get to (from opposite corners of the world) and they still have ties here. It’s just so expensive and not tax-friendly for retirees compared to other locations.
If you do renovations mentioned, would there be space suitable for short term rental when your son/FDIL are not there? That might be a way to better afford DC.
I have defintely thought about the politics thing. My son moved from a state with politics opposite of his to one where folks think similarly. He said it made a huge difference in getting to know neighbors and others and was really refreshing. At my stage in life I’m not so sure it would make as big of a difference (I can get along with most people and have friends from all over the political spectrum). But, then again I’ve not lived in a state with a predominate political culture.
abasket - the idea of not always considering my ‘next stage’ house through the lens of “82 year old me” was a big shift for me a few months ago. Having lived with elderly parents in their mid-80s who declined significantly - that image has always been in the forefront of my mind when envisioning the future. But, when I think of the possibility of maybe 15-20 years of pretty active life, it changes a bit. Becomes a little more expansive (and more pleasant, frankly!).
That being said, considering mobility and the advantages of first floor living and lower maintence are still factors.
When we ended up buying a single family house with steps (inside and out) I let go of my idea that this would be our final house. I am reasonable certain that we will need to move to one floor living at some point, if we live that long. To that end, I keep myself as active as possible now to help ward off trouble AND scope out apartments/condos in the area I live in now.
We’ll stay in the house if we do renovations. Rent here is totally ridiculous. We’re not flush enough to add a ground floor bath/suite and pay rent.
I got quotes this week for blinds/shades for the kitchen and our bedroom now that the new windows were installed. I’m in shock, and I did my research in advance on prices!
H thought we could replace all 17 windows in the house for $2k. As if!
We’re in a 4 story house. No bedrooms or full bath on the main floor. We do have a back staircase though where we could install a chair lift thing. That said, if we can’t do the stairs, it’s probably time to downsize and move to a condo.
I’ve lived in the five states of varying political leanings. We’ve managed to find friends, and like minded people, everywhere we’ve lived. We’ve also made friends across the aisle. It is possible…I have them in my own family and I still love them ; )
I spent $550 for 3 shades in my bedroom. I waited for a sale at Home Depot. With the sale, and they have them all the time, HD was a bit cheaper than Costco.
My husband is a retired engineer so he measured and put them up. But his parents had HD come out measure and install.
I guess everyone decides where they draw the line and what is important to them re: politics. Is it the political structure and policies of a particular state? Clearly that is important to many folks.
On the other hand, I can see living with people in a state where many, many residents do not support the state’s policies (particularly in certain geographic areas). There doesn’t need to be 100% support of the populace to have legislation passed.
To me I think what may be more important is how the people I’d interact with on a daily basis approach things. I’m not positive though since I’ve never lived in a state w/predominately different views from my own. We are visiting several states in the next few months so I guess I’ll see!
I look at it as my civic duty to stay in our purple state where my vote is very important as opposed to being just one more voice in the blue choir even though I might be more comfortable in those states.
Not sure if I was clear. My question was whether you could rent the extra space when kids are not in DC, as a way to underwrite the renovation costs. But a lot of homes don’t lend themselves to that kind of thing. (Keeping an eye out for a good temp roommates for an older neighbor low on funds. Ideally we’ll find a student teacher or a visiting nurse.)
Did. your husband expect all those windows to be $2K? Or the window coverings?
That is definitely a consideration. If everyone moves to match up with their political affiliations (and just because a state is blue or red, doesn’t mean your city will be the same, of course) then the political landscape gets even more ingrained. Enough people moving to certain states will eventually change the mix.
Then again, it would be tough for me to move to a state where the politicians have decided they have ownership of women and girls bodies, so I’m glad I don’t have to make that choice.
In my imagination, the addition would be a large bedroom/craft room and a bathroom, which would be accessed through what’s currently the formal dining area. I see it as a multigenerational setup, so we’d share the kitchen but have separate family areas.
H thought the WINDOWS would cost $2k!!! HA HA HA!
If I were solo, I’d consider going back to the Phila area or near my sister outside Louisville (she lives in a blue spot where housing prices are VERY reasonable and where my vote would matter – but it’s 45 miles to the nearest synagogue). OTOH, I also need to think about what would make my sons’ lives easier when I need more assistance.
CountingDown - I think of that too. Not only - at the latter stages of my life what would make my life easier if I need help (kids close by)- but what would make their lives easier. I actually only recently started thinking about that, LOL. You are ahead of me!
A move every 15-20 years, while definitely fraught, does not sound unreasonable to me. IMHO, after moving in March 2020 from one apartment to another, having lived in the first for almost 20 years, at age almost 72.
oldmom4896 - curious what do you think went into it being not that bad to move? Do you have less stuff? Less concerned about schools/neighborhoods because kids grown? Those two things to me seem like they’d make the move a little easier in the latter half of life (maybe?).
I moved when my daughter was in fifth grade, and it was horrible. I had had a condo that I had to sell because I was so much in debt. My next move, on March 31, 2020, was also pretty awful in that I had broken my arm six weeks before and was not exactly in ship-shape. Plus of course it was March 31, 2020, and everything was scary, scary, scary! I had to unravel what I called the Museum of DD, who was working in a hospital at the other end of the state, also scary scary scary given what was going on in hospitals here. There was no way I could ask her to come and help. But the good thing is that I really downsized with each move.
Of course I still have a pile of boxes in a corner of my bedroom but as a person living alone, there’s only so much stuff I have. I have reached a point in my life where I realize that I really don’t need to buy much of anything except perishables and necessities that wear out. When I was so sick, once in a while I ordered a bunch of socks and underwear from Amazon to the point that I can easily go three weeks without doing laundry.
Of course I know that I am not typical among CCers in that I moved from a 2-bedroom condo in 2007 to what is called a 1.5-bedroom walk-up rental (walk through big bedroom to get to tiny bedroom) in a circa 1900 brownstone rowhouse to a 2-bedroom rental in an elevator building. And at this point it’s just me, myself, and I.
Thanks for sharing, oldmom4896. Kudos to you for making it through those times.
I think I have to keep in mind the scenario of ‘me/myself/and I’ because I could be in that situation at any time. That seems to support the idea of streamlining and making moves (if necessary) more nimble and achievable, at any age.
We are moving ahead with our plan to downsize and I feel lighter with every household item I give away. DH retired two months ago, we put our house on the market, visited the NE state we plan to move to, immediately received an offer on the house (literally the morning it went on the market, while we were visiting said state), returned home, found a nearby 900 sq-ft apartment to rent, moved out of house, put items in storage, had a huge garage sale, put an offer on a 1.7 acre lot in the NE state (never having seen it), sold house (3 weeks from offer to closing of sale), visited NE state and closed on purchase of lot, found a surveyor, found a construction manager, decided in a house design, traveled home.
Let’s just say that it has been a busy two months!!!
The plan is to build a small accessory dwelling for DH and I, and a larger house for DD and her family, and a shared garage on this piece of property. We are all done with living in the great state of Texas. I know it is important to stay and fight back against the gerrymandering, repressive policies, gun culture, GLBTQ-bashing, and war on women’s health, amongst other issues, but we have just had enough.
Now we need advice on how to structure our family-compound legally so that we are all protected if one family members decides to sell or move. Hmmm
this will be the last move. My dad passed away a decade ago.
Kudos to you for making it through those times.