I live in SE Florida. I’m not in a gated community. Several friends have downsized and rent in downtown areas. I don’t know if you feel comfortable sharing where your parents live, which could help with giving suggestions.
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@tkoparent that was not me! I moved around but did not have a home base 
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Nope, it was someone else!
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Columbus really is a great example of a city with perks with your choice of suburban neighborhoods, quiet neighborhoods, bustling neighborhoods, nice park/trails/nature opportunities and as you said, compared to many other nice sized cities, affordable.
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except check out the crime rate -
Columbus, OH Crime Rates and Statistics - NeighborhoodScout.
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We are in the process of moving to our new community…waiting to order home to be built, after we get zoning board and building permissions, etc so anticipating a year until we finally move from our temporary rental in Texas. To find our new area, we built a large spreadsheet and made categories of things that mattered to us. Since both adult children, their spouses, and the grandkids all plan to move to this area, too, we made the spreadsheet editable online by all.
I bought a few month’s subscription to “Best Places” since it allowed me to download different area stats, and we also pulled information from various government sources concerning climate change, population growth, etc. and watched YouTube videos of walking tours or introductions to towns and cities we were interested in. We looked at tax rate, cost of housing and how the state treated SS and pensions income. We definitely considered political landscape, resilience to climate change, women’s health rights specifically regarding the right to abortion, and gun laws, and family friendly and
GLBTQ friendly area.
The area we chose is not inexpensive and taxes are fairly high… but we are confident that - if the kids can find jobs! 
- it will be a great place to live and raise the grandbabies. We have all visited, and in yucky weather, so we feel like we will be in the right place for us.
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Columbus ranks pretty safe compared to other large urban cities in Ohio. Cleveland, Toledo, Dayton, among others top the charts. So, tit for tat if you’re living in Ohio!
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Dh and I talk about moving but we still have two in college and are years away from retiring. We do have four kids though, and most likely they will not all end up in the same part of the country. As it is, our oldest is marrying someone originally from Pacific northwest, and they currently live in southern CA. Though they love it there, the COL is high so they don’t anticipate being able to stay and raise a family.
When dh and I mull over where we would consider moving, like others have mentioned, proximity to a major airport and good health care are important. Aside from my aging parents and my brother, we have no family where we are. Dh’s family are all on the west coast and my sister as well as my extended family are far flung. We actually really like where we live - 30-45 minutes from two major cities, 30-60 minutes from three major airports, we live on the outskirts of a smallish historic town with numerous restaurants, cultural events and two colleges. I say smallish b/c the surrounding area is developed. The more H and I talk about moving, the more I realize I like it here. We also have mild winters, and tho we have humid summers, it’s really only hot for two months. If we can afford it, I think I’d rather stay put where we are as a home base but just take extended trips to wherever our kids are. If we do stay here, I want to buy a house that is more suitable for aging in place (we have a lot of stairs).
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I did use the site I listed above https://www.neighborhoodscout.com/ when looking for a new place to retire to. It gives you a good idea of the statistics of a place - socio-economic status, crime, cost of living, etc. It works well for mid to large towns (it will not have data for towns that are very small).
Sometimes two towns right next to each other, that seem similar will show how different they are when you look at this data.
One more thing, the Boston suburb where we are renting (with plans to stay in when we sell our primary house), is on the upswing. New developments, clean up of toxic site, expanded tax base, etc. These are hard things to see until you live somewhere.
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To me crime rate is an important factor in considering a place to live (right up there with airport and healthcare). Even understanding that cities have higher crime rates, I don’t want to live someplace where 95% of other locations in the entire country would be safer.
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Understood! I imagine that most large urban cities or state capitols don’t fit the bill for what you’d be looking for!
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We live in an older suburb of NYC. We can walk to the farmer’s market, and to a collection of restaurants, a hardware store, a pharmacy and my favorite grocery store. (Though I admit I am more apt to drive.) We have a little pond surrounded by about 6 acres of parkland and we can walk to another more forested park of 220 acres. Or we can hop on the commuter rail and enjoy the City. I think it’s just about a perfect location.
My younger brother lives in Peterborough, NH a town of about 6000. They have a nice community centered on the Episcopalian church they attend. Lots of biking and horse trails nearby. It has a really nice downtown with a great bookstore, restaurants, a cute little neighborhood grocery store (the kind where everyone knows your name), a great art center.
Other brother lives in Gloucester, MA which he loves for its working class vibe and the ability to sail.
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We visit family in suburbs of Columbus. I’ve been surprised at the housing affordability. Have not heard any complaints about crime, but this area is beyond the bounds of walkable areas. You’d definitely need a car.
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Interesting to see so much support for Columbus! I was going to mention Columbus in my post earlier today but decided it was already long enough. I really learned to appreciate Ohio, especially the Columbus area, during my son’s four years at Denison. There are some great walkable areas. We rented a house for a week in the Short North area just south of OSU, and it really would be a nice place to live - nice houses, interesting shops and restaurants, and all the big city stuff just nearby.
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I can picture the avatar she used - black, white and red, and maybe a woman’s face or a clown, but I can’t remember who it was.
Found her - ohmomof2.
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Ohio is great. I was born there and lived most of my adult life there.
Unfortunately the politics in Ohio have turned in the past 15 years and it wouldn’t be my first choice anymore.
Michigan has great small towns, and since the last election is implementing some progressive changes if those are important to you.
Much of Michigan is still very red, I mean they tried to kidnap our governor!
But a place like Chelsea would fit many of your criteria. There’s also quite a few inland lakes in Michigan. There are small towns on the Lake Michigan coast that are nice but are more religious and conservative imo.
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@OHMomof2 is indeed the nomadic poster!
Awesome suggestions everyone, thanks! I’ll have more time to digest them and do some digging over the next few days.
@tkoparent my mom grew up in mountainside (right next to Chrone’s tavern… I think her old house is now a dentist office or something), know many folks from there still.
The problem for me with NJ is the cost of living. My hometown of Kenilworth - small blue collar town… they tore down the 1 house next to where I grew up, and built 2 new ones on the tony lot, that are selling for $900k each. That’s insane.
@bookworm they are currently in North Fort Myers, and previously were in Cape Coral (that’s where their business is).
If you love winters, Camden Maine is a great retirement community. Charming downtown, and lots of housing within walking distance. It is an hour drive to the airport, however.
We have friends who retired to Wells Maine. Great location, but they do need a car to get around. Also, traffic is horrible in the summers.
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Well, one positive of Kohler is the, to me, inexpensive housing. Here’s a charming 100yo home for less than $450k. And there are plenty of cheaper places, too.