<p>Ending up in the hospital overnight is a big consequence for overdrinking to the point of throwing up. </p>
<p>Wow. I too was afraid as I clicked into this thread. Thank God he is okay. Thank goodness he reached out to you. That’s a wonderful thing & speaks volumes. He doesn’t know his limits. Hopefully this experience will scare the crap out of him. I’m sure he has learned his lesson and you handled it as any parent would. </p>
<p>A woman that I worked with 12 years ago, lost her 18 yo son to alcohol poisoning 4 years ago. He was 2 days shy of his 19th birthday. He was at a house party and his friends thought he was passed out. The parents were home and took him to a 24 hour clinic and dumped him. They were arrested and went to trial, I can’t remember the outcome but it’s such a tragedy.</p>
<p>Even though I’m not a advocate of my college freshman drinking, I always say “alcohol will be here tommorow and the next, there is no need to overindulge, there will always be more.” For some reason, young adults drink as if we are on the doorstep of prohibition. </p>
<p>Her 2nd week of school, she ran home to grab her much loved fall jacket, she mentioned that a classmate was passed out the night before, drunk & alone. She woke up and texted DD to offer assistance at 3am. I hope she learns her lesson. She may not be so lucky next time. </p>
<p>I also think he has suffered the natural consequences of his behavior and that is enough. Discussions of how to handle things in the future to avoid this ever happening again would be worthwhile. </p>
<p>I think the OP handled this just right and agree with others that, in the scheme of things, this is not a very big deal. Actually, I’m surprised there are ANY colleges that even care about a student throwing up from alcohol. That probably happened every night all over campus when I was in school. Certainly no one reported it or paid much attention other than holding the person’s head if it was your roommate. I’m not condoning underage drinking, but sending a kid to the hospital just for throwing up sounds ridiculous and a misuse of hospital resources to me unless, as someone else suggested, there’s more to the story than revealed here. “Drunk freshman throws up” wouldn’t even have hit my RA’s radar.</p>
<p>It isn’t the news you want but it also isn’t the end of the world. I don’t think you blew it on the phone. Even the best of kids make mistakes. I did the same thing my sophomore year (then nobody called to send you to a hospital so I spent the night in the bathroom) and I learned my lesson, graduated magna cum laude, got a great job, raised kids (who are wonderful albeit imperfect like their mom) etc. The key is to be sure he learns from it and becomes more responsible going forward.</p>
<p>To be clear, we’re not thinking we need to invent any consequences from us at this point … I’m not sure what it would be even if we were, but we’re not. He’ll have to deal with whatever the ramifications are at the university, and we’ve asked him to please keep us in the loop on that. If there are expenses associated with the hospital visit, that’s on him. I think the best thing we can do now is listen and encourage him to think honestly and critically about what led to his choices and what strategies he can use to prevent it from happening again; that’s the only way he can learn from this. My mantra is, “Being an adult doesn’t mean you have no rules or that you operate without a safety net; it means <em>you</em> have to create the rules that act as your own personal safety net.” </p>
<p>I’m happy to see you’ve gained some perspective on the incident since your first post. 
I was expecting something MUCH worse when I hesitantly opened the thread. </p>
<p>It sounds like your son has probably learned his lesson, and will be more cautious in the future. He was probably mortified, especially by being taken to the hospital. I think it’s great that he called you, and that you refrained from freaking out. Perhaps some discussion of limits and moderation can take place. It takes some kids longer than others to find their limits and reliably observe them. This is made much more difficult by the practice of drinking juices mixed with vodka. When I was in college, people used to make vast punches with very pure alcohol purloined from labs, some rum for flavor, plus juices and ginger ale. One would have no idea how alcoholic it was until it was too late. Sort of like the wine cooler/hard lemonade stuff. I hope your S is one of those who gets to that point earlier rather than later.</p>
<p>I’d be surprised if the hospital visit is free. You should ask him if he presented his insurance card at any point (otherwise he or you will likely receive a bill for the whole amount). Another lesson for him if he has to call the hospital with insurance information so they can bill the insurance company if that happens. But assuming you have a deductible, he could still end up with a significant bill if you haven’t met your deductible for this year. (We have been bumping into this with D2, who broke her arm on campus AND got an infected cut that required health care off campus in the past few months!). My kid understood nothing about health insurance until all this happened…</p>
<p>Did he drive while drunk (or even bike)? If he did, that should probably have further consequences. </p>
<p>My guess is that the school has this policy in place (sending to hospital if throwing up drunk) because of the very real danger of someone aspirating on their vomit and dying.</p>
<p>I think he said he gave the hospital his insurance information; so whatever the remaining costs are, will be on him. I think that’s part of the reason he figured we’d find out and he wanted to tell us first; we’d know by the insurance invoice. Transportation to/from the party is a thread I want to pull with him the next time we talk. He doesn’t have a car. Hopefully it was via bus or walking, and not in someone else’s car. Regardless, it’s worth talking about it specifically – having a plan for how you’re getting there and how you’re getting home without anyone operating any sort of a vehicle under the influence. </p>
<p>I have told my kids to call Campus Security and ask them to help arrange a ride if necessary to the hospital. They will (or should!) make sure your kid doesn’t ride with someone who has been drinking.</p>
<p>One night at a detox facility is quoted at $365 on the UW-Madison campus safety website. I’d think an overnight hospital stay would be more expensive.</p>
<p>He called you…in my book that is a pat on the back for the relationship you have maintained with him. Honestly, I just thank my lucky stars when I think back to my college days…and even some instances out of college when I should have known better. What I tell my kids us…don’t do shots. It’s Like overrating when you are hungry, and then you feel too full and sick. You don’t think the shots are doing anything to you until it’s too late and then you may end up dead. </p>
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<p>Some kids figured that putting a backpack on a drunk kid would keep them from sleeping on their backs. I don’t know how effective that is, and nothing works as well as not being that drunk to begin with, but that apparently is how they watch over a friend when they think they might fall asleep themselves. </p>
<p>You are lucky. I almost died end of sophomore year from drinking, didn’t puke a bit nor get a hangover. Almost got date raped by a “nice guy who offered to walk me to my dorm”.</p>
<p>Ask him what he thinks. Ask him if he thinks he can go to parties and drink soda, or bring his own water to drink.</p>
<p>I still drink alcohol by the way. I do get drunk on occasion as an adult. But now I know that you can drink a lot in a short time, and it won’t affect you until at least a half hour or more later.</p>
<p>I don’t recall if I ever told my parents. But that was the last frat party I went to alone (the guy who tried to assault me was NOT a frat brother by the way).</p>
<p>Another thing - I had drunk alcohol occasionally via my aunt since about age 12. She thought it would prevent exactly what happened. It did not. As an adult, I have no respect for her choice to give me and my siblings alcohol without my parents knowledge, as pre-teens and teens.</p>
<p>At least he called you and told you about it. And be glad it was just a night in the hospital instead of any of a number of worse things that can happen while drunk:</p>
<ul>
<li>Getting into a drunken fight and being injured or arrested.</li>
<li>Having sex while drunk and causing an unwanted pregnancy, getting an STD, or being arrested for being accused of rape.</li>
<li>Driving while under the influence and being arrested or causing a crash.</li>
<li>Being a victim of a crime due to being too incapacitated to avoid or resist the crime.</li>
</ul>
<p>Main thing you want to hope for is that he learns his lesson on alcohol from this experience.</p>
<p>Jeez, you’re going to give the OP nightmares with that list. 
</p>
<p>One thing, OP; I note that you said something about worrying that he won’t have the “willpower” to not drink as much another time. Unless you have reason to believe that he’s predisposed to alcoholism, I don’t think “willpower” is the issue (unless I guess you’re referring to the ability to resist peer pressure). If anything, a highly unpleasant experience like what he’s just had is more likely to make him shun alcohol, at least for a while.</p>
<p>A bit off topic, but have you all seen this great commercial for not drinking and driving? Something to pass along to our young adult offspring.</p>
<p><a href=“http://myfox8.com/2014/09/20/budweiser-promotes-responsible-drinking-in-adorable-new-puppy-video/”>http://myfox8.com/2014/09/20/budweiser-promotes-responsible-drinking-in-adorable-new-puppy-video/</a></p>
<p>The absolutely ferocious hangover he no doubt suffered will make him think twice about getting that wasted next time, more than any parental admonishments…</p>