I’m a sophomore at a small liberal arts college, currently in the second semester (spring). I had a great time my freshman year, I never really found myself to be homesick ever. I’m about 3 hours away from home so theoretically, it’s the perfect distance. I’m still in-state, but driving three hours isn’t appealing enough to go home every weekend. I play a sport for my school so I have a tight-knit group of friends from the team. I also have some friendships outside of basketball, as well as involvement in the dance program (I know, weird combo). On top of all that, I live in a house with 12 other girls! I guess what I’m trying to say is that I’m involved and I have friends. I like to be social; always have been!
Even though I have a great outlet for social support, I have been feeling really off this whole second semester. I find it really hard to get myself places like practice, dance, work and even my classes. I almost never get ready for the day anymore. I roll out of bed and wear sweats to basically all of my classes. I skipped the last few classes heading into my midwinter break. Doing homework is a nightmare. I can just feel the stress consuming me, and my boyfriend has even been so helpful and beyond nice to do some of it for me when I can’t get it done!
Im currently taking 16 credits (which is the most you can do without over charge at my school). My classes are pretty difficult, all 300+ level classes, and the amount of homework I have is insane. I need to be reading like 200+ pages of textbook material every night, on top of assignments and papers and exams…I’m crumbling! I can feel my exhaustion consuming me and my mood has totally deteriorated as a result. All I want to do is nothing. I want to lay in bed, alone, and watch tv or sleep. I also have been wanting to go home terribly and also see my best friend. My bffl goes to school like 2 1/2 hours from me. We are super close and I miss her all the time. I also have a 5 year old sister at home that I miss like crazy. I’m essentially her second mom.
Anyway, in sum I have been feeling pretty crappy the whole second semester. I have tried to enjoy myself at school and only go home during breaks. I am currently on my first break (mid-winter) and the thought of having to go back to school has sent me into hysterical crying sessions. I don’t want to leave my sister, I want to keep doing nothing, and I just want it to be summer.
Does anyone possibly know why I may be feeling this way? Or have any tips to help get me out of this rut??
Yes, you are trying to save tuition dollars by taking too many credits in one term. Do the opposite. Instead of 16 credits (the max), take 12 credits & enjoy life !
Talk to your parents about how you are feeling. Sounds like you may need a mental health evaluation and they may be able to help you get that. You are reporting a lot of symptoms of an episode of depression. It may not go away without treatment.
If going back to school is causing panic attacks, you should make an appointment with a psychiatrist and get your health stabilized. College only gets harder. I would also suggest lightening your load and give yourself time to meditate and relax. Take up yoga or something. Untreated anxiety/depression can turn toxic very quickly in a stressful place like college.
Your course load is too heavy. Drop a class if you can, and you will probably experience some immediate lessening of stress. If you can get a diagnosis from a doc of depression or such, you might be able to get a medical withdrawal, or get one retroactively perhaps. You are describing some symptoms of depression. You should make an appointment at your college counseling center immediately and discuss all this. Go see your advisor to be sure you are on track for your major if you drop a class. Your advisor will be able to help you choose a more sensible schedule going forward.
You need to stop dwelling on things that are not practical right now. It’s fine to want to see your family and your best friend, so maybe plan a weekend to do that. But pining away about it is a means of escaping your responsibilities. Because you took on such a heavy courseload, you inadvertently found yourself in a vicious cycle of classes, tons of homework, not being able to manage it all, stress, classes, more homework, less able to manage it, more stress, etc… Be proactive, and you will start feeling better. Your first step is to see if you can drop a class, followed by an appointment with a counselor at college or a therapist.
I agree that you probably are taking to heavy of a courseload. Perhaps talk to your academic advisor about withdrawing from a class and certainly be more careful about creating a balanced schedule for yourself moving forward . I would also seek out counseling at the school – it wouldn’t hurt to get some professional advice to help you through this period.
It appears that you are way over extended. Is it possible that being on a sports team and dance at the same time is too much of a time commitment. Taking what I assume is five courses is a normal load. However, it sounds like you do not a balance load of difficult and reasonable courses. Your choices will probably boil down to dropping a course or cutting back on non-course activities. Then next semester try to find the right mix that allows you to have a balanced life.
Talking to an counselor might help you figure out the root cause of the problem and the best course to follow. Also, you might want to get help with you study habits to see if they need improvement. I have no doubt you are working hard but are you working smart. I have struggle with that all my life. It might be that the habits that got you this far are not effective with the increase workload that you have.