As we work through decisions in the next several weeks, DD (and parents) are putting together a list of pros and cons for each of the above schools which will inevitably include dress code. We are well aware that each of the schools we are strongly considering have formal dress. I’ve done a bunch of research here and for some of the schools (probably most notable Exeter) the class dress or code seems much more lenient, and especially so for girls. As we begin to narrow choices and make final decisions, the frugal girl in me (and the fact that we are NOT wealthy – Vineyard Vines will not be the Lion’s (get that right there!) share of DD’s wardrobe!) sees this time of year perfect to “stockpile” clothes for next year, most specifically sweaters. Just some my questions on this topic might include:
Are stylish leggings ok with a nice sweater that goes below the behind? Paired with nice boots (Bean or otherwise)?
As I look through the view pieces for each of these schools I see plenty of girls with dresses (super pretty) with thin straps and no extra layer (e.g. 101 Things to Love About Deerfield)
I would love any veteran thoughts on this or others who might be in the same situation to share their thoughts.
I don’t have experience with any of the schools you’re considering, but Groton’s dress code is similar to Exeter’s, and I’ve found great stuff at Target and Kohl’s. I’m not a huge fan of dresses, but I love khakis and cardigans. The outfit you described —leggings and sweater—is super common.
Our daughter is a current prep at Exeter. Here are the do and don’ts from our perspective:
Do:
*Be yourself- all styles are represented here- preppy, alternative, west coast surfer etc…
*Do pick brands that your daughter likes- when my first son was an incoming prep- I bought him a bunch of j crew and preppy clothes that he never wore- because it wasn’t his style
Jeans and converse are perfectly acceptable attire
*Don’t
*no leggings to class
*no tshirts with writing on them
*no bare midriffs
*no spaghetti straps
Teachers all have different standard though- some are stricter than others!
At Deerfield the dress code for girls is quite lenient imo. Generally, if you’re wearing a tank top, strapless dress, or dress with really thin straps, a cardigan or “second layer” needs to be worn over it. For many girls, this second layer is just a jacket that they take off in class. Anything with a long sleeve is acceptable by itself. For example, you can wear a sweater or a long sleeved dress to class without anything over it. As for pants/skirts/leggings: jeans and leggings are not really allowed but some girls get away with leggings and most teachers don’t care about white jeans. Skirts are supposed to reach mid thigh.
The rule of thumb here is to look nice and respectful towards teachers. This includes not wearing sweatshirts, T-shirts, and sweatpants to class. (Although, all Fridays during the winter term are dress-down days so in that case, you can wear whatever you want.) If you’re looking for specific stores, many girls get clothing from Forever 21, H&M, Hollister, American Eagle, A&F, Urban Outfitters, AA, J. Crew, Brandy Melville, and Nordstrom.
From my experience, my wardrobe cost hasn’t changed that much from public school. I wear the same articles of clothing I used to with the exception of t-shirts and jeans. And as vegas1 said, each teacher is different. Most teachers are really lenient, but some are stricter than others.
I’d also suggest, despite sales, not to buy too much ahead of time. You might find tastes change once she’s at her new school. That said, I’d encourage her to follow her own look but many don’t.
Hi, I don’t know which school you have chosen, but if you have chosen hotchkiss I can give you some information on the dress code. I am a current female student and though the dress code is formal it is very lax for girls. I don’t wear lulu lemon or the expensive brands and am always in dress code. You could definitely dress up leggings as a girl. I hope this helps!
My my I just realized I’m actually the original poster (getting old!) and my DD will be going to Deerfield, the most “dress coded” of them all. I agree that although she won’t be going to Hotchkiss, the dress seems very reasonable. Exeter seemed to be the most relaxed and maybe too much so for this mom who saw guys with full out beards there.
@Snowfire88 I am looking to apply to Deerfield-do many girls wear skirts? And if you want to wear shorts or pants, what would you wear?(the only pants and shorts I have are jeans or legging)
At Deerfield girls seems to mainly wear colored jeans – not really jeans but colored twill pants with pockets (even back pocket ones). These seem to be my daughter’s staple. Usually with a nice shirt or sweater. There are a lot of dresses too but my guess is more in the warmer weather.
I want to say that Hotchkiss does not allow patch pocket pants but someone might correct me.
What you describe would fly for girls at Hotchkiss too. The only thing girls really can’t get away with is blue denim. But jean-style pants in colors is totally fine (and popular).
