OK everyone, I am sure this thread will get lots of responses - but hey, why not throw some lighter fluid on the coals!
During classroom observations during Parents Weekend, we were a bit annoyed to see the following “costume” or preppy power dressing by boys at school: Long bangs which the boys frequently pushed aside (one boy did this every 10 seconds), no belt, and flip flops in 45 degree weather - Khaki shorts and blazer, some boys did not follow dress code and were wearing sweat shirts and T-shirts to class …I find wearing flip flops to class to be rude. If your hair is that long that you must push it aside, please cut your bangs.
BTW, to you boys and girls on golf teams invited to practice or play at courses - please tuck in your shirts, put your hats on facing to the front, and follow the dress code. Just because you play for BS team, does not give you the privilege to dress how you deem fit for your ego!
Have to agree with ChoatieMom— when I was a BS dorm parent, a few of “my” boys spent the entire winter walking to classes in sneakers or flip flops and never wore their coats. And the hair— that’s pretty standard. They’re teenaged boys— no matter what boarding school or college they go to… ( well, unless they attend West Point… ).
““costume” or preppy power dressing by boys at school”
Perhaps you deem it a “costume” but perhaps it is their preferred style of dress or normal where they were raised.
“I find wearing flip flops to class to be rude.”
I find behavior rude not clothing. Might not be your choice but it doesn’t make it rude.
Long bangs. Seriously? Are you going to dictate hair length and styles for different genders? You’re not in the south anymore. Folks wear their hair below their collar. Hair at boarding school has been on the shaggy side since my own experience 40 years ago. Many only get their haircut when they are home. It’s not a military academy. Besides, everyone knows that lacrosse and hockey players like the flow/lettuce.
Let’s judge people by their actions not their clothing and hair styles. Chill.
The boy who moved ChoatieKid into his freshman room had a ponytail down to his waist and no shoes. On move-in day. In the rain. He was adorable. At least CK wore shoes most of the time. I think flip-flops are standard BS issue along with grungy unlaced boat shoes. And no one at BS seems to own a coat.
I wish my kid had enough hair to fall into his eyes. That’s a much better look than five-o’clock shadow of the head.
While I have similarly taken note of such styles (or lack of), I personally just laugh on the inside and do not find it rude. I assume taking note just makes me officially old and to say out loud any comments that begin with a statement of not understanding this generation would only make me sound like my grandfather.
I personally see it as a reflection of how little this generation cares for what is on the outside. That may lead to sloppy dress in the eyes of older generations, but it also reflects a loss of biases toward gender, races, religion, sexuality and other things evident on the outside. Our generation(s) can tuck in our shirts and look more “presentable”, but we can’t claim such moral victories. So I’ll just let the kids dress and style their hair the way they like.
Congratulations.You have now officially turned into your parents. :))
skigranny has often regaled us with stories about her own father’s similar comments about these 4 young lads from Liverpool who would never amount to anything because of their hair. I’ve also heard apocryphal tales about who girls would roll their waistbands once they were beyond the watchful eyes of Sister Mary Aloysius and her ruler.
For the current generation, I have stated previously that skibro has rocked (his words, not mine) a
manbun and that my own hair has, at one point, been long enough to pull into a ponytail; we’ve both done OK in life, so far.
That part I’ll agree with.Your club, your rules. Similarly, what’s appropriate attire for English class may not be appropriate at the Cathedral of the Holy Cross when Cardinal O’Malley is celebrating High Mass. But the converse also applies.
I think it is nice of you to draw deeper meaning about how little this generation cares about external appearances, but I think it is a much more typical case of caring a lot what is cool. If you REALLY didn’t care about appearances, then you would shrug and follow the dress code to a T.
@Golfgr8 So funny! This is definitely a thing. I liken it to a complex mixed drink: one part old prep school showmanship (we are too rich to care about the weather or protocol), one part teen, one part modern grunge(man buns and sneakers cult) one part boarding school island mentality and lastly one part schools giving in too much to modern culture.
I am not sure if the blazers, etc, are per formal dress code, but DS tells me that his dress code is pretty strictly enforced. Though the boys have room for creativity in accessories and hair, the dress code requires a belt, shoes (no flip flops) and a generally neat and clean appearance. It sounds like demerits are given our pretty liberally, and while kids do get a bit creative, it does keep everyone look pretty good.
As for hair — DS is an offender. The only way he can wear is hair is longish, and since the last time we were able to schedule a haircut was about August 30, it’s just long. I am working on a haircut appointment Thanksgiving week. He does however shave his few scraggly chin hairs when needed — also per dress code!
First, you have all made my day and I appreciate your opinions. Yes - I have officially become “old” and also crabby - I think the past year added to the aging process. DH says that every year with a teenager is like “dog years” for us, meaning that one ages us like seven! There does seem to be a difference in dress code expectations or rules between schools, as well as genders. In speaking with other CC parents, it seems as though some schools are less rigid (regarding dress code rules) than others. We know girls who have been given dress code scolding this semester for not having appropriate layers of clothing and wearing sandals. The boys wearing flip flops seem to have less criticism so far. Saw shorts and flip flops worn on Parents Day, even though it was cold.
@ChoatieMom your son’s haircut is my favorite - deserving of a salute, a hug, a big “thank you”, and a home-cooked meal with a good beer (if he’s now of legal age).
As for flip flops at Mass, it’s been happening down here for more than a decade. I have not seen “tats” and visible “tart art” at BS yet, but have seen creative piercings at other schools we visited. More tats and piercings down here even though there is supposed to be an age minimum to get tattooed here. Yes @doschicos I am still in the South…so flip flops are seen everywhere, but schools here don’t want kids to wear them to class for safety issues (they say). I do think that there is something to the show-boating up in NE of who can wear flip-flops and/or shorts the longest into the winter season.
“Yes @doschicos I am still in the South…so flip flops are seen everywhere, but schools here don’t want kids to wear them to class for safety issues (they say).”
Yes, I know you are in the south. I used to live in the south so I know how strict even public schools can be about the length of hair on male students. I think it is silly, prejudicial, and antiquated (not too antiquated because way back in the day, men of all classes did have long hair) that different genders have prescribed standards of what is deemed to be appropriate hair length based on gender. The students you are criticizing aren’t in the south which is my point. What is the norm/acceptable where you live no longer applies.
Additionally, what might be cold to you isn’t cold to us. Weather in the 40s/50s isn’t cold by my standards. Shorts and flip flops still work. If they get cold, then they can choose - or not - to wear warmer clothing. They’re smart enough not to freeze to death.
"I’m a public school grad, so I’m not familiar with BS terms, @Golfgr8. What is “tart art”?
It’s not a boarding school term, @austinmshauri, it’s a Golfgr8 term but you’ll find your answer on UrbanDictionary.
If dress code is super important to someone, they should take advantage of the opportunity to both read the dress code and compare it to what you see both during your initial visit to campus and during accepted student events.
