<p>pretty ridiculous. drinking in the dorms was a stupid idea. but is this really that big of a deal?</p>
<p>TUOwls2011: "What a loser"</p>
<p>hmmm. who's the loser? The kid who had the guts to ask a guy 2 years older to abide by the house rules, or the 21 year old, who respected (albeit resentfully) his host's request? 'Fraid I'm not seeing any losers here.
But I certainly see the attitude that could make it more difficult for some kids to stand by their beliefs. Frankly, that's where I'm seeing "loser."</p>
<p>i think the loser was the kid who brought one six pack. he turned 21 .. you'd think he bring a few cases at least.</p>
<p>I actually think that was very responsible....especially from a newly 21 year old male. :)</p>
<p>yeah it was.. i think that's why that kid said loser haha</p>
<p>
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i think the loser was the kid who brought one six pack. he turned 21 .. you'd think he bring a few cases at least.
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<p>For real...</p>
<p><some of="" the="" same="" behaviors="" deemed="" unnecessary="" (ratting="" out="" a="" roommate)="" are="" part="" every="" day="" life.=""></some></p>
<p>Well some of us do not want our children involved in a police state mentality.</p>
<p>AimHigh,</p>
<p>I don't mean to sound cruel, but your children better not enter the real world then...because that is what it is. Many employers expect the employees to police each other. We can choose to ignore the employers request to "snitch" on co-workers, but then we run the risk of getting fired. It may not be fair, but that is life in the real world.</p>
<p>Nikki, I don't wish to sound cruel either. You're what, 35? Talk to me when you have kids in high school and then in college. Entire nations have crumbled because of police states. All a college should be doing is laying out the rules, not expecting young men and women to make sure they're enforced by doing the dirty work. They aren't being paid for that.</p>
<p>you have the advantage of me Oldfort(your post 73). Apparently you are familiar with the wording of that school's policy on alcohol, and based on your answer that policy tells of discipline for any student caught drinking alcohol. Naturally, as I said in my post, I cannot decide fair or not fair until I see the wording. IF the wording said otherwise- such as not to be in a room with drinking, for example, then student would be guilty of breaking rules whether they consumed alcohol or not. I trust that you have read the specific rules and can determine that student did not break any. thank you
As far as your speeding car analogy- well no, it is not my job to police the open highways. But, if I joined a club called the "good drivers club" and one of its laws were that we were to report members to the club pres. who we saw break traffic laws- then yes, I would see it as my job to report offenders to the club. Similarly, if one joins a college, it has rules one is expected to abide by. Not an attorney, but I see it that if a student chooses to enter a college, it is understood they have chosen to accept its rules.</p>
<p>And if there was alcohol consumption going on in her room, so she left to avoid it, couldn't it be argued that by taking no action to attempt to stop it, that SHE permitted the consumption?
Yes a landlord can be sued for permitting illegal activities, but in Ohio, first, he must be aware of the illegal activities, and then second, he must have taken no action to stop it. Only after those two have happened can be even be considered to possibly be liable.</p>
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As a result, S laid down the law with his roommates that no alcohol could be in their room.
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<p>I would not want to be your son's roommate...</p>
<p>Our RA said that what they see is what they will report. Seems like a typical "wrong place at the wrong time". Maybe you could bring this up with the people in charge.</p>
<p>I find it interesting that in another thread there was virtual unanimity that a child should NOT rat out a classmate who had actually stolen and SOLD an exam--talk about cheating!--but here we have a bunch of people saying that this girl deserves punishment if she did not rat out her peers for drinking. </p>
<p>There's a disconnect somewhere.</p>
<p>My D attends a college where the no alcohol policy is known to all. It is a dry campus and if the kids are caught with alcohol or drugs in the suite, ALL are guilty. Rough stuff, I think. In my D's case last year, she lived in a suite and the student in the other room was drunk and on drugs pretty regularly. My D and her roomie saw alcohol sitting on the girls dresser. They were terrified, knowing what would happen if they turned it in. </p>
<p>They went to the RA and expressed their concern about the alcohol and how they did not want to be involved, (convinced they were going to be busted!) and the RA came and saw the evidence and to make a long story short, since they actively went to the RA, my D and her roomie did not get in trouble, and the other student got written up and the alcohol was confiscated. You just can't passively sit by and ignore it, or else!</p>
<p>Let us just say that the atmosphere was pretty chilly in the suite after that, and the other girl continued her "habits", but outside of the room. She still came back drunk and puked half the night away. </p>
<p>The other student was from another country and was furious that she could be sent home. She wasn't. My D, her roomie and the other two in the suite talked, and they told her that they didn't care if she drank and did drugs somewhere else, but they wanted NOTHING in the dorm suite. My D and her roomie, feared that the other student would "plant" something in their room to get them in trouble. She didn't, but it was unpleasant.</p>
<p>There are just too many situations where a student simply wouldn't be able to rat out a fellow student. You're away for a weekend, and your suitemates are busted for drinking, as are you: how are you supposed to have informed the RA about that? Adultparentmom's daughter's scenario (worried that the ratted-out suitemate is going to plant something in your room) is really frightening. </p>
<p>Yes, in the real world there are consequences for having an open bottle in a car, or not reporting a coworker's malfeasance. But there's usually something of a due process rather than a kangaroo court. That doesn't appear to be the case here.</p>
<p>Agree with oldfort that it would be useful to have a list of schools that have these types of policies.</p>
<p>Consolation - I am with you on that.</p>
<p>AdultParentMom - I don't think I would want my daughter to be at a place where she should worry about her roommate planting something in her room to get her in trouble. In your daughter's situation, I see the school not taking the responsibility of keeping the school dry (they should have done something about the girl after she was reported to the RA), but instead continued to depend on your daughter to keep an eye on her roommate.</p>
<p>Again, I want to ask if this is how we want to teach our kids to live? I think during the Cultural Revolution in China (I wasn't there), neighbors and friends were encouraged to rat each other out in order to survive.</p>
<p>100%, APM's D's suitemate should have been expelled from the dorms if not the school. If the school does not have this as a policy, then the whole thing from there on out is a joke. </p>
<p>The problem is obviously the kids that are doing it don't care if they get caught and if they're that dumb, it's a little much to expect that they are going to not do it for the sake of their roommate. </p>
<p>And yes, the sabotaging of the suitemate/roommates things is something I worried about all the time before S actually got off campus housing.</p>
<p>I think it's more than we can expect of 18-22 year olds to rat out a roommate with whom they have to live in close proximity for at least the semester. We've all read the postings of the horrific tales of partying roommates, suicidal roommates, roommates with BO, who stay up all night. Things can get pretty intense in those situations. So the perfectly innocent roommate chooses to tell. They are then open to all sorts of harrassment--from simple unpleasantness to mean behavior to vandalism to planting banned substances. </p>
<p>Of course, the "teller" has recourse, and I know it's the real world, but I think it's expecting a bit much. That's why we have whistleblower laws in the real world, and we've all seen what can happen to them.</p>
<p>Tango, I completely agree.</p>