Drinking

College Life
1

Hi, I’m a junior who has two brothers in college. Sometimes I ask them about how much drinking goes on in college, but they just say they don’t do it and tell me nothing more. Is there something I should be worried about if I want to avoid it? What percentage actually drink?

Also, same question for drugs and sex (except I actually want to do it (sex, not drugs) - yea I’m weird).

2

The majority of people do drink, but no one has to. I didn’t drink for most of undergrad and still did just fine socially. You will find plenty of non-drinking opportunities unless (maybe) you go to a super small college in the middle of no where.

The vast majority of people have had sex during their time in college and the opportunity will almost certainly be there if you want it.

Most people don’t do drugs (other than weed), but again you can avoid it like alcohol if you want.

3

It’s pretty prevalent, but if you don’t want to drink there’s not a ton of pressure–I mean, when everyone around you is drinking, yeah, there can be pressure, but most people (anyone who’s a decent person) aren’t going to look down on you for choosing not to drink and it’s pretty easy to find like-minded people who don’t want to drink either.

Same thing for drugs except drugs aren’t as prevalent as alcohol and there’s really no pressure to do drugs.

If you want to have sex, yeah you can. There are always people looking for hookups or relationships.

4

Re: sex

Be sure to read the threads in the Parents Forum about sexual consent. There are plenty of ways to get into trouble as either a victim or an accused, especially if alcohol or other drugs are also involved.

5

If you are not a person that drinks, you do not have to and it is easy to turn down an offer to drink. You are not going to suddenly change personalities just because you enter college. It is rather prevalant, but most people do not judge you if you choose not to drink unless you are a part of an organization that heavily emphasizes drinking as an social activity. People mostly just do their own thing though, and as long as you are confident in your own life choices and make good choices for yourself, you will be fine

6

Just to throw some numbers out here:

In an online survey of Brown seniors in 2013, 94% of the 488 respondents ( a little under 1/3 of the class) indicated having at least one sexual partner while at Brown. 52% had a one night stand, 15% had sex in a library, and 7% hooked up with a TA. http://www.browndailyherald.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/05/Senior-Survey.pdf

In an anonymous questionnaire administered to people in the mail room a few months earlier 13% of 1,202 respondents (just under 1/4 of the undergraduates) denied consuming any drugs or alcohol in the past year. http://www.browndailyherald.com/2013/04/17/white-older-students-more-likely-to-use-substances/

7

According to the [National Institute on Alcohol Abuse and Alcoholism](College Drinking | National Institute on Alcohol Abuse and Alcoholism (NIAAA)), about 80% of all college students drink, with half of those students binging (4+ drinks for women, 5+ for men).

If you want to avoid drinking, simply say that you don’t want to drink. Suggest something else instead.

8

When selecting colleges, you may want to pay attention to the fact that some colleges have a greater or lesser “drinking culture”. If you do not drink alcohol, attending a college where more recreational activity involves alcohol may be less desirable socially than attending a college where there are more other kinds of recreational activity available.

http://www.collegedrinkingprevention.gov/niaaacollegematerials/panel01/highrisk_05.aspx describes some factors associated with more or less high risk drinking, though individual colleges should be evaluated, since some do not follow the trends:

Historically black colleges and women’s colleges. (lower)
Presence of a Greek system on campus. (higher, particularly for participants)
Importance of athletics on campus. (higher for student athletes)
Two-year versus 4-year institutions. (lower for 2-year)
Substance-free residence halls and campuses. (lower for students living in them)
Commuter versus noncommuter schools. (lower for commuter)
School size. (higher for smaller)
Location. (higher for northeast and north central; higher for rural)

9

Everything in this thread seems about right except for this lol

10

Thanks for the responses everyone. Wow, these numbers are scary. Especially for Brown. I guess I’ll try to find some substance-free dorm or something then. Except this would make it harder to have sex, but I guess that’s ok. Like I really want to have sex, but it’s probably more important to not get stoned than to have sex. Any high schoolers/college students have/had a similar dilemma?

11

@PengsPhils lol, does that seem high or low to you?

What does it say that i’m not even sure (although I’m guessing it seems high)?

12

@iwannabe_Brown
Much, much lower. Like I don’t see a way that you could even do it at my school. I guess it really depends on the library layout, how busy it is, etc. Apparently, Brown’s libraries are possibly very unused and have good areas to hide in. I don’t think it says anything about the students, though. If there’s two things I can believe college students are, it’d be resourceful and horny.

To the OP, really, don’t worry. I would be wary of schools known specifically for partying, but otherwise you shouldn’t have any problems finding people like you. Brown would be a fine place, there are many worse. What statistics (beyond the funny ones) actually worry you there?

13

@KInglyBill How far removed from drinking do you want to be? Just because you don’t want to drink doesn’t mean you need to live in substance-free housing (I mean, that’s certainly a fine option, but you don’t seem that gung-ho about it). I don’t drink at all and there’s really no pressure to; just don’t live in a known party dorm. Dorm drinking is a thing but it’s just in rooms usually so the RAs don’t find out about it. If I wanted to drink I’d have to seek it out, it’s not like I have to live with people who are always drinking and pushing a bottle in my face. Same thing for drugs.

14

@CE527M Yeah I don’t care if people around me drink. I’m just not interested in it and I don’t want to start. Ok that reassures me a bit.

@PengsPhils Wow, that’s not really high? 87% doing drugs/alcohol, and 94% having sex? Like I want to have sex, but it’s not like I’m crazy about it…

15

Not all of that 94% is having casual sex / hookups. I’m sure sex within relationships is counted in that statistic too. I personally wouldn’t be surprised if it’s true that only 6% of people are waiting to have sex until later in life for whatever reason.

16

Drinking, using drugs, and/or having sex in college or any other time in life for that matter is a choice no matter where you go to school or where you live at school. Unless you simply can’t say NO to peer pressure, there are plenty of other things to do for fun.

17
  1. Drinking: yes, people drink. Many people drink occasionally, some drink every weekend, and some drink every day. Most colleges tolerate drinking as long as it is not public or results in obnoxious behavior. The worry is mainly not being familiar with drinking, and drinking too much without realizing the effects.
  2. Drugs: this is somewhat dependent on the college, but with smoking banned in many dorms, if you live on campus there won’t be too much obvious drug use (as opposed to drinking). Both drugs and drinking do depend on who you hang out with, and if you join “one of those” fraternities with a heavy drinking/drugging/party reputation.
  3. Sex: Sure, lots of guys want to have sex in college. The popular phrase when I was in college was “you are having sex with everyone that your partner has had sex with”. In regards to STDs (more common than you’d think) and also reputation (don’t pretend to date someone who has “dated” your freshman floor). Sex should be about respect - self-respect and respect for your partner. Hooking up is fine, but be on the same page with your partner. It’s not like if you start going out on dates without having sex right away that you are likely to be “going without” for more than a month or two. So it would be wise to think about your options (most have many if they are going to parties and being sociable), and decide if you want to date and get some tail with someone you can get along with and talk to, or just hook up and play the STD Russian Roulette (yes, my RA freshman year was pretty graphic).

If you can’t talk to your older brothers seriously about these issues, and you can’t talk to your parents seriously about these issues, find out info on your own. College is an opportunity to try out new things, but don’t make your attempts at socialization fatal (most likely alcohol rather than drugs, and possibly HIV from sex) or life-changing (yes, as a guy the chance of you being accused of rape is a lot higher than for girls).

Good luck navigating and try not to worry too much. Although people do drink in college, many didn’t drink at all in HS (I and my son can attest to that). My son has already had to prop someone up who passed out from drinking during his first semester of college :frowning:

(all IMHO, my and my family/friends experience)

18

Substance free dorms won’t change anything. Most people will be drinking and you just to have the self restraint to say no. I know a lot of people who drink and for the most part they’re not offering the alcohol they paid money to get to people who aren’t interested lol

19

Interesting. I guess I’m just a complete newbie. I thought that, since drinking is illegal for ages under 21, that you had a serious risk of getting arrested if you drank at all. Same goes for drugs. Now they don’t seem as scary.

And for sex, yeah I should try to talk to my parents more seriously. They haven’t said too much more than “don’t do it”. Well I’m interested in material engineering so maybe I’ll try to do some condom research of my own to minimize the risk. Hmmm I thought religious people didn’t have sex before marriage. Guess that time is over now.

But yeah I can’t imagine hooking up and starting a relationship with sex. I’m pretty respectful of females as I think they are biologically more mature and smarter in the more important aspects of life.

20

I mean, it’s not as if the police are going to come break down your door just to see if there’s underage drinking going on. A friend of drinking age buys the alcohol, or someone uses a fake ID to get in a bar, and generally doesn’t get caught. Not to mention if you go to a big football school, game days tend to be open drinking season regardless of age. Alcohol or drugs won’t ever be so in your face you’ll feel pressured to partake, really, but they’ll often be present. You have to personally be responsible and know a) what you feel comfortable doing and b) how much/far. Really, that goes for sex too.

(as an aside, I feel that the 15% library statistic may be accurate for my campus given how much people talk about it…)