<p>We dropped my S off at college yesterday and, after reading all the other recent posts, had expected to feel nothing but gloom.</p>
<p>Gave him a hug, he went off, and I feel fine. I spoke with him later and have texted with him.</p>
<p>I knew this day was coming, this was the culmination of everything he has been working for.</p>
<p>Either I had prepared myself for this or I am in denial and it wil hit me like a ton of bricks soon. (I still have my younger two at home, maybe that helps.)</p>
<p>I never had the sadness and separation problems that are reported by many on this board, but I had to do it earlier than most when D chose to go to boarding school as a high school junior and WildChild got the choice made for him as a hs freshman. I was so excited about the opportunities for D that, while I knew I would miss her, I was fine.
It’s just a next step.</p>
<p>I, also, felt mostly excitement when launching the kids and my tears were tears of happiness. The kids were taking our family’s journey in a new direction filled with amazing opportunities. I focused on all they and we were gaining and not on any perceived loss. In many ways, watching and helping the boys transition into independent young adulthood has made us closer. I have always felt that seeing a baby bird take flight is thrilling. I didn’t lose anything, my daily routine changed but our family is richer for it.</p>
<p>I am very excited to “launch” D1 next Saturday - I think I am even joyful, and she and I are extremely close. I am not anticipating being sad at all, and I have been thinking that perhaps I am strange for not grieving. </p>
<p>However, I think my relative calm is due to the fact that she chose a school that is one hour away, and we are already making plans for football games, periodic lunches, etc.
This time is so incredibly happy, compared to the stress of last fall. I think this feeling is rooted in contentment with the choice made, confidence that she’s going to do well (or at least she seems very ready), and that she is feeling no anxiety about leaving. </p>
<p>I think I feel gratitude for having a healthy, bright kid who is making that next step.</p>
<p>I think D2 will be grieving terribly in the absence of older sib and she doesn’t even know it yet. There will be a big hole there. And, she loses her taxi service. (so do I! ouch!)</p>
<p>I didn’t feel sad. First of all my kid is not Mr. Talkative or Mr. Huggy. Second we knew we were sending him off to a place where he would grow and blossom surrounded by kids like himself (of which there were none in his high school). Of course we miss him, but it’s also exciting to see him grow up. We’re about to pack up to send him off for his third year. He spent the entire summer on the other coast and less than 24 hours here, that makes me a bit sad! We do see him for all the holidays.</p>
<p>I, too, was happy and excited for my oldest. No tears, no feelings of “loss.” He picked a good school for himself and I just knew in my gut that all would be well. When number 2 goes off I imagine I will feel much the same. Of course there are times when we miss him, but I didn’t feel like part of me has been wrenched out. It was our job to get him ready to leave and it was a good feeling when we said our farewells. He’d been revved to go his entire senior year which helps, too, much like he did when he got on the bus for kindergarten. I think it really depends on where your focus in life is, I had a job outside the home so a good chunk of my day was not spent with my kids or thinking about my kids and I have the kind of kids that like to go off and do things sans parents as well as “with parents.”</p>
<p>I’m back from having dropped mine off – moved him in yesterday – and no tears here, not even for the long drive home. Kid groused about the food, the internet connection, and his first workshop (yesterday afternoon) before I left campus. When I went back to his dorm to say goodbye, his dad followed shortly after and asked, “Is there anything you need before I go?” to which the kid replied, “Yeah. Get Mom out of my room!” </p>
<p>Need I mention there were no tears on his side, either? I did get a hug out of him, and he did let me kiss him on the forehead before I headed out. I expect I will not hear from him unless he wants money, food, or a new MP3 player. Since cell phone service is very poor on campus, I will be sending him a landline phone; I hope his roommate will think to plug it in, because I’m pretty sure my kid won’t!</p>
<p>I’m hoping that sometime in the next seven weeks, I’m motivated to shovel out his room so he comes home to something he hasn’t seen in many a year: a clean room.</p>
<p>Different people handle the separation differently. When DD1 went off to school two years ago I was happy she was moving on to the next stage of her life. DW got weepy about it. DD2 is going this week and I anticipate the same. Mathmom’s comments really hit home (very like DD2).</p>
<p>I dropped my daughter at the airport last Wednesday and I felt fine as I waved her goodbye. A few days later it is starting to hit me, it’s too quiet in the house.</p>
<p>Not sad the first time; pretty sad after “family day” that fall, because she was stoic, but I knew she was unhappy, then a LITTLE sad dropping her at the airport this, her sophomore year, when I realized how routine it had become.</p>
<p>Was not at all sad last year when my oldest daughter left; it was time…Actually overtime (if you know what I mean!)</p>
<p>This year, however, she was a pleasure to have around during the summer (and her younger sister has turned into a nightmare…)soooo, I think this year will DEFINITELY be a harder departure…</p>
<p>We sent our second and last on Friday. Both times felt joyous and not in the least sad. I think social fit will be ideal for S2, while it was a bit of a disappointment for S1 (although S1 is in his element socially now, while overseas). However, the academic side may be a struggle for S2, while that was a home run for S1. We’ll just have to wait and see how that evolves.</p>
<p>As parents, we are looking forward to the empty nest and just bubbling with things to do. Maybe it will feel quiet, but I don’t think so. They weren’t home much when they did live here and I enjoy quiet. Also, they keep in touch. I have had an email from both already today.</p>
<p>Am on the road heading back with DH from dropping off S#2 for his soph. year. He was happy to get back to school and has lots of lofty plans (very intense courseload, lots of extracurriculars, etc.) That aspect, that he seems so very engaged in school and all it has to offer, brought me joy. I am happy that he is happy. I will miss him and all the chaos in the house (our basement reminded me of “that 70’s show” with lots of s’s friends in and out, which I love) but we are happy to watch the boys do so well. I did find myself lamenting a few things on the drive with s to school (an oppty to have him all to myself, which is a rarity as dh came in ahead of us for a mtg). Anyway, DS said “you don’t have as many things to regret as some moms”. LOL. Its not much, but I’ll take it.</p>
<p>tom1944- you made me laugh.
Agree w/ everyone on the happy to launch, etc…</p>
<p>Recently I got a great idea esp. for the not hug-gy or talkative kids… just let them know that you will go ahead and send them a short email or text everyday- no pressure for them to respond. Just keeping them in mind… They might surprised you with quick responses, even some news. </p>
<p>Someone said they did this, S often did not respond but the one day she forgot to send one he sends a “What, no email today?” :)</p>
<p>BTW at church today, (4 days later) with the beautiful music and meditations-- it was emotional!</p>
<p>I am not complicated enough to be grateful and to feel sorry for myself at the same time.</p>
<p>I focused on the gratitude during move in and felt joy and excitement. A couple of weeks later, the grief snuck up on me and laid me flat. But, all in all, it could have been much worse.</p>
<p>I was not sad, I was not grieving when I dropped off either of my kids. I was kind of happy and kind of excited. However I was Very envious and jealous!!! ;)</p>
<p>Glad to see others like me. I was not sad when I dropped off my S’s (S1 in 05,S2 in 08). After reading of the chest heaviing sobs on other threads, I actually asked DH last night if there was something wrong with us. I was serious. </p>
<p>DH said we were already conditioned to living without them. By time both were seniors, they just weren’t around the house a lot. They were always working, playing sports, hanging out with friends, sleeping over at friends houses, eating with friends…you get the picture.
We got very used to doing things without them before they ever left home. </p>
<p>Maybe both attending instate schools (3 and 4 hours fr. home) made it psychologically easier. Evenso, they mostly just came home on sch. breaks and we rarely drove down to see them.</p>
<p>Both have friends from h.s. at their colleges and both roomed with a friend fr. h.s. so I wasn’t worried about them being homesick or friendless.</p>
<p>They were both excited and happy to go. When they are happy, I am happy.</p>
<p>We love our boys. When S1 who’s in the Navy gets deployed, I might fall apart. That will be a whole 'nother thread! But for now, we are enjoying the freedom of the empty nest life.</p>
<p>My mom was a little weepy on drop off day, but overall was ready. My dad was fine drop off day and surprised himself by having a very difficult time for the first few months.</p>
<p>As much as I think I know how I’ll act on that day, I’m just going to take it as it comes. This is my only child and I am processing a lot what this transition will be like for me now in the hopes of being better able to launch the kiddo but who knows?</p>
<p>Truth be told: I was very sad/emotional before our one and only left for college. I think it was anticipatory grief. So I think I dealt with most of it ahead of time, but I did so at in a way that our son really didn’t have to deal with it.</p>
I did get a hug out of him, and he did let me kiss him on the forehead before I headed out. I expect I will not hear from him unless he wants money, food, or a new MP3 player. Since cell phone service is very poor on campus, I will be sending him a landline phone; I hope his roommate will think to plug it in, because I’m pretty sure my kid won’t!</p>