<p>I was talking to my wife, who teaches at a neighboring high school, last night. She was telling me the faculty was buzzing about the relatively large percentage of top students from last June's graduating class who have already decided to dropped out of college at the end of the fall semester or who plan to transfer after their first year. </p>
<p>The reasons vary: some kids discovered that high school did not prepare them for a rigorous pre-med path. Others feel uncomfortable with the dominant campus culture. Others don't feel academically challenged. One missed home. These kids currently attend many types of colleges: large and smaller SUNYs, a large private university. A small women's college. A Big Ten university.</p>
<p>The only thing they seem to have in common is that they graduated in the top 10-20% of their class and they didn't put much effort into the college search and selection process. </p>
<p>I asked my daughter how things were going for last year's seniors at her school -- which had a similar problem last year -- and she said a couple of kids were unhappy at their college but planned to stick it out for now.</p>
<p>How are things going at your high schools? Is this a particular problem this year or is it a recurring problem? Or do top students in your community generally stay with their college choice until they graduate?</p>
<p>Well, it’s hard say much about all or even the majority of the students in my community, although last week we did run into a gal who’d gone to Cornell last year. She’s home for a semester, taking classes at the local cc while she decides if she wants to go back to Cornell or attend the state flagship. But, I digress . . . </p>
<p>What I can say, as someone who works with college freshman, is that transferring is very, very common, and much more common than it was 20 years ago when I started. Kids just don’t know who they are and what they want as hs seniors (not that, as freshmen, they’re always all that more certain). They think they want far away, but realize they hate it - maybe they miss home, maybe they don’t realize that different regions of the country have rather distinct cultures. They think they want to be near old friends, and then those relationships don’t last. They change their minds about what they want to do. They start to develop a real sense of self, as a person separate from their families, and start making choices that reflect the change, although that may or may not mean transferring.</p>
<p>It’s recurring - and I wouldn’t call it a problem. I think many kids have tough time adjusting to college at first. They change their minds about the qualities they wanted in a college and transfer. Or decide that college was more their parents’/peers’ idea, that they as individuals want/need to explore different directions.
All normal. All part of growing up.</p>
<p>I don’t know about the top students, but two of Happykid’s pals were ready to pack it in before the end of freshman week. Both sets of parents insisted that they stay put. Friend1 has since changed roommates and majors and is much happier. She talks of transferring closer to home, but may decide she’s happy enough to stay. Given her personality, that is where I would place my money. Friend2 is adjusting more slowly, and is considering transferring at the end of the year, but for the present is basing her transfer plans on whether or not Friend1 will transfer to her university!</p>
<p>Friend1 carefully chose her OOS university for a specific major, and did visit before applying. She felt that it was a very good match academically. Friend2 visited very few universities, applied only in-state, and reported after a visit to her current university that it was “exactly perfect!” Now she says that she doesn’t even remember what it was that she liked so much when she visited!</p>
<p>One of our top 10 kids is moving home…chose a small LAC three states away near a large city. Misses home, LAC has mostly home-town folks with a different culture, and was told by a professor that her choice of career path was sketchy…depended on industry contact that they couldn’t guarantee her. She decided she could pursue something similar for half the cost in state. </p>
<p>I think ordinarylives summed it up pretty well…</p>
<p>Another mini-theory of mine. these kids are forced to choose their paths so early now. Heck you start shopping colleges when you are 16. By 17 you are behind if you haven’t committed. Alot of growing and changing happens between 17 and 18 years old, and again between 18 and 19. I just don’t remember this process starting so early when we were kids.</p>
<p>It would be interesting to know how much parental (or other adult) input and guidance occurred for those kids who are transfering or dropping-out because of “poor fit”. College choice is literally a life-changing decision which probably shouldn’t be decided by student alone without significant input from parents and several adult advisors offering differing perspectives. Unfortunately colleges are businesses seeking new business revenue to meet income projections - and incoming freshmen are so many units of revenue. Reality doesn’t necessarily match marketing image or public opinions.</p>
<p>A friend’s freshman daughter is presently very unhappy at a well-regarded CTCL LAC; school experience has disappointed her at many levels so far: housing problems (no room yet), unavailable difficult advisor, complicated and late class registration, thus undesired class selections, bad food, no overall anxiety, and a discomforting first two months, all for $50,000/year.</p>
<p>When I was an undergraduate architecture student, a notable number of my freshman classmates chose architecture major because mechanical drawing/drafting was their strongest HS subject. My 5-year undergraduate program had a 60% drop-out rate.</p>
<p>I’m aware of one situation in the past two years where every student accepted to a particular school (and it’s one mentioned on CC often) was gone within a semester. Its party reputation was all too real.</p>
<p>Five years ago when S1 was a college freshman, the Val. of his class transferred after one semester fr. well known private to local state u. then transferred to flagship for soph. year. S’s good friend who was Mr. Everything in h.s (#16 in class) transferred after two years at the flagship to another big instate u. He flunked out after one semester there and has been back in our town ever since…just sort of drifting. </p>
<p>S2’s good friend who was prob. in the top 15-20% dropped out after an unhappy freshman yr. at a small LAC. He came home and drifted for a year and is now at a CC enrolled in a trade program. Coincidentally, he is the brother of the above mentioned Val of S1’s class.</p>
<p>I think the huge effort that now goes into finding the “right” college–numerous school visits, wading through the proliferation of guides and ratings, seeking tons of input from school and independent counselors, to say nothing of this website–raises impossibly high expectations of the college experience and results in inevitable discontent when classes are less than scintillating, roommates are annoying, clubs are less than they purport to be, constant partying grows boring, the environment quickly becomes too familiar, etc. It turns out that college is not nirvana, but is just another version of real life with all its ups and downs. When I started college, I had few expectations other than living independently and earning a degree from a fine institution, so I settled in and stayed put. My guess is that many of those transferees are searching for an ideal they aren’t going to find and would do best to remain where they are and make the most of their education.</p>
<p>Each year, our HS has several students, including some of the top grads, transfer or drop out. The No. 2 from five or six years ago transferred twice before leaving school for the ministry. Several students went in thinking they would be pre-meds, found out that you need to have a solid math background for college calculus and chemistry and switched majors to a liberal arts area. </p>
<p>I do agree that many kids do not adequately research college choices. They just pick something because their friends are there or they have heard it’s a good school. With my son’s graduation class two years ago, the economy hit the skids, and those kids seemed much more in tune with researching what opportunities were available, both financial and academic. I can remember watching them crunch numbers and helping each other decide what financial package was the best. They applied to a lot of different schools, but they also visited a lot of different schools. Seven of the top 10 graduates are still where they chose to be. Two left one school because it was in the inner city, and they live in the middle of nowhere. They were not used to city life. One transferred to another school and loves it. The other is working and not attending school right now.</p>
<p>As a HS teacher, I find myself often speaking about college choices with students. I tell them to visit lots of schools. Do not wait until your senior year to start your research. Start as a freshman. That way, you know what classes you need to take to prepare yourself for that next level. I have a HS freshman. We were just talking about schools on the way home the other day. He wants to go to a big school, he said. He wants to watch a good college football team on Saturdays. That may sound a little silly, but that’s on his list, along with good academics, nice dorms and lots of things to do. He does not care about rankings. He cares about a combination of fun, academics and money. He does not want big loans, he said. He got this from his older brother, who turned down top flight schools for a large OOS university that loves National Merit kids and rewards them with lots of credit for their APs. He will graduate debt free and with three undergrad degrees and a masters – all in four years.</p>
<p>I was thinking thoughts along the lines of MommaJ in post 11. On the parent cafe, someone asked a question of the parents’ expectations when they started college ??? years ago. Several of them said that they just accepted life as it was when they started. My son is one of those top kids who ended up at an LAC after much research. When you spend so much time being “recruited” for these schools, it raises impossible expectations. Almost all of the schools that we visited promised unlimited opportunities for activities. If they didn’t have your club, you could start one. They would practically pay you to study abroad, etc. Not one of them mentioned the drunk roommate who throws up in the room and doesn’t clean it up and then locks you out so he can hook up with another drunk student while you get to sleep on the lounge couch. The freshman retention rate at son’s school is supposedly 96%, so hopefully, he won’t be one of the 4% but right now I am holding my breath. We always made him stick with any activities that he started at least until the end of the season, so he knows that he will be in this situation until May, hopefully again, with a new roommate.</p>
<p>Thirtysomething years ago, during the summer before I went to college, there were a few weeks when I was quite excited about the coming experience. I was really looking forward to it, and I mentioned that several times to my boyfriend, who was older than me and had already completed two years of college.</p>
<p>His response was, “It may seem interesting at first, but when you come down to it, it’s just school.”</p>
<p>College is school. And a lot of kids don’t like school all that much. In previous generations, these young people might have chosen to go straight into a job or join the military after high school, but fewer do that now. Especially in relatively affluent communities, college is now the expected path for all young people.</p>
<p>And then they get to college and realize that what they’ve signed up for is four more years of school. </p>
<p>It’s no wonder that some of them are disappointed and dissatisfied.</p>
<p>To change the subject a bit: My two kids weren’t particularly disappointed with college (perhaps because their expectations were not unrealistically high in the first place), and neither ever expressed a desire to drop out or transfer. But if they had, I would not have insisted that they stay where they were. You see, if Mom and Dad require you to stay, there is a third option – flunking out. And that’s something that Mom and Dad can’t prevent. But in the long run, it is not a good option. The student who deliberately (or semi-deliberately) flunks out of college because his parents won’t allow him/her another way out may regret it if he/she decides to try to finish a college degree later on. That poor transcript could be an impediment to resuming a degree program.</p>
<p>I went to the dentist this week. Asked about his S, a college jr. who played sports with my S2. After graduating from a small private h.s. where he was a good student, his S attended an expensive well known private for one year. He decided it wasn’t the right fit, so stayed at home for fall of soph. yr. and attended CC. During that sem., he decided he had made a mistake and went before the college’s board to plead his case to return. He returned for Spring 2010 and also attended summer sch. 2010 there. His Dad told me this week that his S has once again decided this sch. was not for him and is back at home at the CC this sem. He plans to transfer to an oos private in Jan. </p>
<p>I agree that the whole “college experience” is way more emphasized now than it was back in our day. Kids can’t help but be disillussioned if there are bumps in the road because there is so much build-up during high sch. This leads them to believe they must have made a big mistake and there must a more ideal sch. out there. Sometimes there is but sometimes they find out there are drunk roommates everywhere.<br>
Hope it gets better for your S lotsofquests.</p>
<p>In my daughter’s circle of acquaintances, it seems almost more unusual to go to one school and spend four straight years there.</p>
<ul>
<li>One friend, focused on ballet, dropped out of school after a semester.</li>
<li>One friend hated her school so much she left after the first semester, took the second semester off and worked, then transferred to a different school in the fall.</li>
<li>One friend loved college but had trouble academically and is now home to recover from being on academic probation</li>
<li>One friend spent a year at an academically challenging and expensive LAC, wasn’t sure what she wanted to do with her life, so is now home for a year working</li>
</ul>
<p>D herself (now a college sophmore) transferred and is happier at her new school.</p>
<p>I don’t really see this as a problem. So many families and students assume they will go to a college and graduate but historically and statistically the percentages just aren’t there. The reasons are myriad but the end results in terms of completion are the same. I’m all about the “brass ring” not being the particular colleges a student is reaching for and putting the emphasis on the end of the process…finishing the degree. The “thrill” of the chase for a college ends about mid-term time freshman fall and the reality of “this is school” and a four year commitment is the reality.</p>
<p>Growing up in a working class family, my only choice was the local state u or cc. I chose the state u and stuck with it because I had no choice. Some kids today seem to have too many choices. If my S were to come home and say he wanted to transfer, I’m not so sure how I’d react. I suppose I’d try to find out why and then help him make a decision. He is very happy at his school but I have to say it’s not because he loves to study. He loves the EC he’s involved in - and it’s providing a connection to the school. It is my hope that this EC will encourage him to do well in his classes (it motivated him in HS). </p>
<p>I have found that the first year is so critical for them socially. Top students are used to being at the top and maybe some even skated through HS. Now, they find they have to actually work and may not have good organizational skills. Also, they’re finding themselves among students just like them when they may have been used to being number 1. My H compares it to his college experience where he was a star HS athlete who warmed the bench for his first year in college. It was a humbling experience and some of his peers quit because they couldn’t adjust.</p>
<p>About the “too easy” is a freshman year complaint we hear
when students think that the intro level classes they are taking freshman year show what college classes will be like -</p>
<p>If you took strong honors/AP/IB classes in high school, you might find some of your freshman year distribution requirements to be fairly easy. Go sit in on an upper level class in your intended major. It is unlikely that you’ll find that class to be “too easy.”</p>
<p>So odd when someone says their daughter/grandson/niece had to leave a well-regarded school because it was too easy. Smile and nod.</p>
<p>Yes indeed, smile and nod. I tell my kids college is about pushing themselves, not being spoonfed information that they will need to regurgitate. “Too easy” is a cop out IMHO from a student and generally means something entirely different when coming from a parent.</p>