<p>Hi,
My D is a freshman at a very small LAC. She was recruited for a sports and accepted with a generous merit and athletic package. The reason she chose the school is because of the team and the small environment. The school turns out to be a bit quirky, everyone is in their own clique. Now she is telling me she wants to quit. If she is to quit the team, she will have no friends to hang around with. On top of that, she told me even though she gets along with the team, everyone is drinking and she is not and that makes her feel awkward when they are at parties.
I can understand her feelings and want her to be happy. At the same times, I can't help but feeling frustrated and upset. She has talent and smartness and is doing very well both in the sports and at school. I had questioned her choice of this small school when she said she wanted to go there and she insisted that she liked it. I took the advice of the parents on this board that the kid should be making the decision of where they are going. Apparently she did not make the right decision.
I have told her that if she wants to quit the sports and transfer, then she has to either go to an IS school or one that is in the WUE program (we are in CA) so we don't have to pay OOS tuition.
I am just wondering if I am doing the right thing by allowing her to quit so easily. The decision to do sports in college was also her choice as she saw this was an opportunity for her to go OOS. We've never pressured her to do that. On top of that, as a transfer student, she will be missing out on a good academic merit if she had decided to go to a different school without doing a sports. Any advice is appreciated.</p>
<p>As the parent of a soph transfer, I sympathize with you and your D. These are difficult decisions with no clear cut or completely satisfying answer.</p>
<p>First, give yourself and your D a break, it’s hard to pick a college with the little interaction that most HS students have before making the decision. There are so many factors to consider and too little information to evaluate given the brief visits. Most of the time it works out OK, but not always. Both of my kids had difficulty in picking a school, I too decided to let them choose in the end. I was not always thrilled about their decision, one worked out and the other didn’t, so it goes.</p>
<p>As far as quitting too soon, it’s impossible to say. You just have to go with your gut, you know your D the best and understand what kind of kid she’s been over the years. </p>
<p>Nothing wrong with giving some limits if she does transfer (IS, WUE), as actions do have consequences, even if we go into them with the best intentions. If she is really unsatisfied with her school then she should be alright with these limits and hopefully will find another way to participate in her sport, perhaps intramurals.</p>
<p>Best of luck!</p>
<p>Thank you entomom for the words of encouragement. What I am afraid of is that by wanting to transfer so badly, she will make another emotional mistake. When we first looked for colleges, she did not like the bigger ones that she visited. When she started talking about transfer, she looked for, again, smaller (but slightly) bigger schools than the one she is attending. She cited alcohol and partying as the reason she does not want to go to a big school even though we tried to tell her that there will be partying at any school. She just needs to find the right group of friends like her to hang out with. She is now willing to look at bigger WUE schools so we just have to cross our fingers and hope she will find the right one. On a different topic, is it possible for her to reapply as a freshman to a school with a 6-yr DPT program? This is what we planned originally, but due to the fact that she was to do sports, we thought a 6-yr program might be too much of a load. Now that she does not have that burden, she could reapply to her original schools of choice if she has not been doing sports and hopefully we will get some academic merit to help lighten the load? I suppose I need to call the individual schools to check it out, but if anyone has any info on this matter, it would be greatly appreciated.</p>