Drowning in anxiety. HELP!

<p>Hey guys,</p>

<p>I started out with this application process with confidence and with three schools chosen to apply for. However, after a while of thread skimming here in CC, I've lost my courage. And instead, I was left with this anxiety.</p>

<p>After reading all the fields other applicants has to offer, I think my application compared to those are feeble and unsupported and somewhat not eminent.</p>

<p>Personally, I am loosing all my motivation that came from all the hopefulness and confidence! I now think my selected schools are not enough and I might be rejected to ALL three of them. :( I'm so worried that all this effort being wasted and myself not being rewarded with a better education. I really worked hard for this process.</p>

<p>I don't know what to do! I cannot complain to my peers and friends, because the last thing I want is to make a fuss about it at my current school. Plus, divulging at this stage is just bad timing so I'm literally lost!</p>

<p>I need to calm down, but I don't know how. HELP!!</p>

<p>Jerryeps–try not to fret. I told my daughter just this weekend that I was happy in some regards that I didnt find CC until after we had made the decision to apply to bs and we were on the road to making the decisions.</p>

<p>After about a week on CC I totally refused to go to the “chance me” session. IMHO it is worthless and depressing. First of all so few of us are in the position of AO’s and what do we know in terms of what the schools will do. But secondly, I find many of the profiles just not true. If all those kids had such great stats and were so perfect, there would be no room for just the good, honest, kind student, which most of you are. I have met in person many CC posters and none of them claim that their kids are perfect but who have kids in great bs. </p>

<p>I believe that many kids post unreal stats to make kids like you back away from the process, DON’T. </p>

<p>Be self-reflective and honest about what schools would be the right match and fit for you. Everybody does not belong everywhere. My d truly believes that her bs is “perfect” for her but surely not for everyone. Maybe re-examine your choices and maybe add a few more than you feel comfortable with. Forget the “names” and look for happiness. In the end you will have to live with your decision.</p>

<p>Go after what you want, regardless what you find the posters saying on this board. Dont loose your motivation. Let the anxiety roll over you and keep going.</p>

<p>Stay calm and trust yourself and your reasons for considering bs in the first place.</p>

<p>Good Luck.</p>

<p>Stop worrying. First, you’d probably be shocked at the number of kids who are on this site who get top marks and SSAT scores, but never get admitted to a top 20 school. It happens all the time. Conversely, you’d be equally amazed by the kids who “only” get good grades, decent SSAT scores but whose personal qualities inside and outside the classroom make them highly desirable applicants. The application process mixes science and art. </p>

<p>The best thing to do is “not to worry about the other guy;” it’s distracting and debilitating. Make your application the best it can be and let your personality and enthusiasm shine during the interview process.</p>

<p>Also, don’t read the chance threads. They’re just silly. You do NOT have to be superhuman to be admitted to a top school. Sure, admissions people need to be comfortable that you can do the work, but they are really looking for kids that they would like to spend a LOT of time with. They’ve got to live with you guys, after all. After you’ve reached a certain academic benchmark (which is not all A’s and 99%tile ssat), it comes down to a lot of things that you simply cannot control.</p>

<p>I don’t know what schools you are looking at but please realize that there is an element of luck involved. Hope for the best and prepare for the worst. </p>

<p>When I’m feeling stressed out (about anything), I try to remember that I have control over some things and no control over other things. Worrying over the things that I can’t control leaves less energy for the things that I CAN control.</p>

<p>No school is a sure thing for any candidate and the top schools are reaches for everyone. </p>

<p>Perhaps it will make you feel better to know that there are plenty of kids, at top schools even, whose chance threads - if they would have made them - would not look so impressive. Chances are, they are just down to earth, earnest, sympathetic kids that the admissions officer decided would make a nice addition to their class. Or maybe, after reading their application, the committee felt they would really like to get to know that kid, so they admitted him. There is no formula for admissions to any school.</p>

<p>Present yourself as honestly as you can and you should be fine. Please stop worrying because your worrying is giving me anxiety and I know you really don’t want to do that, nice kid that you are and all. :)</p>

<p>Interesting that it’s the parents (myself included) who have stepped up to respond to the OP on this one.</p>

<p>To the OP, you should know that all of the first three commenters above have/had kids at some of the most selective schools in the country. They’ve been there, done that with the entire BS app process. I’m still a prospective parent, and I would trust their advice.</p>

<p>Believe me, when we started this process, I was convinced that my 99th percentile daughter would be a slam dunk at even a “brand name” school. And I have to say that tempering this POV (based on advice/experience of other parents) was good for me/her. It made us open up to all sorts of schools and focus on fit instead of prestige.</p>

<p>I’ve always felt the “Chance Me” threads were an absurd exercise, btw. One of my first posts here was something like “What’s the deal with Chance Me threads?”</p>

<p>SevenDad, I think students who honestly ask for help appeal to the parents on this site.</p>

<p>I’m going to take a different tack. First, I do agree with the other parents, it does no earthly good to worry about your chances on the basis of other candidates’ published profiles. </p>

<p>On the other hand, the three schools you named in your first post are very selective. They are reaches for ANYONE. It’s not a question of your application being cast in the shade by others. No one can be certain of acceptance, and applying to three very selective schools doesn’t triple your chances of admission. </p>

<p>Please note, I’m not “chancing” you here. If you are concerned about your chances, though, I suggest you take action. </p>

<p>As you live on the west coast of Canada, how about checking out some boarding schools on that coast, such as Cate and Thacher? You sail, so how about giving serious consideration to schools which offer sailing, such as St. George’s and Tabor? </p>

<p>As an aside, it’s somewhat unusual for a middle schooler to have a good grasp of sailing. When you apply to colleges, if you were to attend a high school which offered sailing as a sport, you could put your name on a comparatively short list of high school students with long-term, competitive sailing experience. Plus, if you enjoy a sport, continuing it in high school could make you happy.</p>

<p>^^All are great advice. I think you also need a “backup plan”. A couple of less selective schools maybe, or a local option you are happy with in case you don’t get in the US boarding schools you are applying to. Without this plan, you are playing a high risk game, which is supposed to be stressful. CC just highlights the competition you may face.</p>

<p>OK. I just looked at your CV on your first post. What exactly are you worried about? Your ethnicity? Your “stats” are fine. Be yourself! I know that sounds sooooo trite, but it’s true. Also, if it’s not too late, I will second Periwinkle’s advice to look at some less selective schools. There are lots of GREAT schools beyond those that people obsess over on this site. Do a search for schools that offer sailing. A few that come to mind is St George and Tabor (you’ve already got Hotchkiss on your list). </p>

<p>BTW: Being of Chinese ancestry falls under “things I can’t control.” :)</p>

<p>It is natural to be concerned. You are taking a big step and one over which you now have very little control. That would cause anybody anxiety. If your applications are sent off, you must let them go and stop second-guessing yourself. Focus on your studies, your activities, and be nice to your family. Immerse yourself in the ‘now’. You have really done all you can. </p>

<p>But don’t think your efforts are being ‘wasted.’ Even if you are not accepted to bs, you have gained insight into yourself which will be very helpful when college apps roll around in a surprisingly short time. You will have a better understanding of what it takes to be admitted to a great school. You can see whatever gaps you may have and work to fill them. You will also understand how to make the best of whatever situation you are in.</p>

<p>I know exactly what you mean! I’m going through the same exact thing myself. I don’t have many extra-curriculars open to me, and I don’t speak six languages like some kids on here. My application, hate to say it, depends on the fact that I have racial and regional diversity. The anxiety is horrible, but you can’t let yourself focus too much on that. I fond that the longer that I spend thinking about it, the more nervous I get. I wish you luck, and advise you not to over-think it. Whatever is meant to be will be. :)</p>

<p>I agree with the posts about broadening your search to a few lower tier schoosl. Trust me, it’s a real anxiety reducer for everyone to have one school on your list that you like and that you can be near certain you’ll get into.</p>

<p>That said, I have to admit that I mostly stayed away from these boards from December to March last year–and my stress went way down! Not positive about my kid, but I think he stayed away too.</p>

<p>@jerryreps,
If I were you I would take a break from CC. If you can’t stop yourself from comparing yourself to the other applicants and worrying, then taking a break would be a great idea. Though if you take a break I hope you come back on March 10th to tell us about your results!</p>

<p>^ haha Quizzical thats exactly my situation, racial and regional diversity</p>

<p>Oh WOW!</p>

<p>That’s a lot of great advice guys! </p>

<p>I didn’t know that the parents had such a great insight on their children’s situation.</p>

<p>I think I’d definitely need some for-sure schools, but it’s just awkward asking for more recommendation letters being filled out by my teachers. But no worries haha, that shouldn’t be a problem.</p>

<p>I will definitely add either Cate or Thacher to my list if plausible and keep the advice coming guys! I have an open ear to any type of advice or opinion, I’m feeling a lot better already!!</p>