<p>I know that teens can get into trouble anywhere. I know drugs and alcohol are a huge problem around here -- from the toughest areas to the most affluent. That being said, I feel like I at least have a little control when my kid is at home, and so far it has worked for us. How do parents feel giving up that control when their kids go away? I can totally see the benefit -- kids at a BS learn to make choices in a "safer" environment that is still independent, so they may be more ready for the temptations presented at college. What about the downsides?</p>
<p>We were deeply worried about too and we did a lot of inquiring about it. Drug and alcohol use is totally out of control at our local high school, nominally one of the best public high schools in northern New England. Usage rates are in the 50-75% range. At a School Board meeting this Spring, the HS principal reported that 25% of the students had engaged in binge drinking just in the past 30 days.</p>
<p>Frankly, that 50-75% figure terrified us. We live in a reasonably affluent community where too many parents believe that drinking and marijuana use are simply rites of passage, and so our problem extends down to their 7th and 8th graders as well. It seems like it’s “only” about 10% at the 7th/8th grade level, but that strikes us as insane behavior too.</p>
<p>We had conversations with 3 current Exeter students who all told us that, while Exeter is not totally alcohol and drug free, the magnitude of the problem there was more like 5% or less - and they all seemed quite proud of that too. We hope that is correct, and we’ll soon find out. </p>
<p>I’d love to hear from more Exeter students about what their experiences have shown.</p>
<p>While this is a parent thread, I thought to offer my viewpoint. I go to prep and am entering my senior year. Just like anywhere there are teenagers, there are drugs and alcohol at prep. I can not say the percent but it is mostly the seniors and not super prevalent. Unlike at public school, most of the kids there (not all) are there to learn and excel so drugs and alcohol do not fit into that pictures, at least not significantly. Plus unlike public school, you get caught, even outside of school hours, you are in serious trouble, probably expelled. We had a few kids thrown out this year and I know my good friend goes to Exeter and there have been quite a few expelled this year.</p>
<p>hammer5, thanks for sharing your views. I hope that more BS students will too.</p>
<p>I think that drugs and alcohol are much less of a problem at boarding school. I’ve talked with fellow alums about this several times. Boarding school is a different culture that often has different social norms than most public schools. I never really felt pressure to drink/do drugs at boarding school, but my friends from public school all comment that they did.</p>
<p>You might find this interesting. I think that some respondents just answered yes to many questions because they are unhappy. Take it with a grain of salt.
[Study</a> shows that 26 percent of boarders have left the dorm after final sign-in; 15 percent of students have cheated on a test | News | The Phillipian](<a href=“http://phillipian.net/article/9771]Study”>Article: Antonio Pulgarin Speaks to Toxic Masculinity, LGBTQ+ Rights, and Latinx Issues in New Exhibition “Whispers of a Caballero.” – The Phillipian)</p>
<p>Thank you for all of the thoughtful responses! I am finding this forum very helpful.</p>
<p>Is there any forum where can I find info about drugs and alcohol problems at a specific boarding school?</p>
<p>yes…drugs and alcohol are prevalent. The kids @ prep school use something called a “vape” to minimize smoke from weed. Sodas are mixed with vodka, other alcohol…
It is amazing how much they can get away with…</p>
<p>Every year this question of D&A comes up and understandably so. As the students above have mentioned, it is there if you want it but certainly not prevalent at boarding schools compared to any local Public High School. So much can be discussed about it because everyone has been confronted with the issue, be it a parent or teenager. You will get all points of view of on this topic some of which may be antagonizing. The BS experience for my oldest with respect to the D&A has been good. The BS scene is 24/7 some 24/365 and he knew the boundaries as did his classmates. They knew the risks involved and consequences of their actions. I’ll never forget the first day of school last Fall when I had a group of them in his room and gave them my usual dictum about not doing anything stupid. One of them responded in short with “everyone graduates”. I do think they’ll be prepared for college when confronted with the D&A as I’m sure the the kids from our local high school will be too. I believe that by the time these students graduate from BS or HS they will know of or seen or been present with a D&A overdose. There is so much to say and never enough when talking to your kids about D&A. Sometimes it takes a really close call or worse to drive the message home. When bad things happen and especially where D&A are involved I always point it out to my kids. Downsides: at BS you get kicked out, parents possible tuition hit and go back to your local high school; at the local high school, someone is going to get arrested, go to court and pay an awful lot of legal fees.
My personal opinion, lower the drinking age and raise the driving age, but that’s a different topic.</p>
<p>My daughter at Exeter has been exposed to less D&A there than her friends at our local public school have. I don’t know percentages either. Drug use is present, probably more than alcohol, but not as prominent as our public school where everyone knows someone or does it themself. It seems that the kids at Exeter all know who is using so if they wanted to get involved in that lifestyle they could, but it is also looked down on more than it is at the public. I’m not worried about my daughter getting involved in it at Exeter but if she wasn’t attending boarding school she would be home schooling since our ps is sooo bad in sooo many ways including D&A.</p>
<p>I am sure it exists at my daughter’s school, however, the kids are so busy between sports academics and Saturday classes, there is not a lot of unscheduled time. Also, as others have said getting caught would mean a trip before the disciplinary committee, which would be a major humiliation. My daughter’s school is not a 1 strike school though, so they do work with kids who may have made this mistake and gotten caught They have some thing called sanctuary which is when some one involved in risky behavior can be referred to the health center by a student or adult for counseling.</p>
<p>Thanks, ops, for making all those points…and, sk8, for emphasizing that BS keeps its student body far more engaged from wake up to lights out than a public school or private day school for that matter.</p>
<p>And I agree with you, ops, about drinking and driving ages. They’re reversed. In some EU countries it’s just as you prefer. The younger kids, in high school, go to taverns, pubs, brasseries, etc. after school on a Friday, nurse an insanely expensive beer over the course of a few hours, and come home on a bus or tram. They see how crazy and narrow the roads are and, with good public transport, they simply don’t pine away for the day they get their license. Public transport gives them the freedom they crave.</p>
<p>I don’t have data to back this up, but I bet good public transportation + higher driving age saves more lives than a higher drinking age does. If anything, the lower drinking age reduces the “coming of age” aspect of alcohol consumption. It doesn’t make you a man, put hair on your chest, signal a passage to adulthood and maturity or any of those things. It just means you’re a sophomore or junior. Most kids aren’t interested and, just as importantly, they aren’t pressured to join in either – as there’s no need to find fellow conspirators for an enterprise that’s perfectly legal or to put another student in a position where they can’t “tell on” you because you convinced them to do the same thing that you’re “guilty” of.</p>
<p>Driving is dangerous for kids who are perfectly sober and even when the driver is sober. Especially if they do something like, say, change radio stations or CDs on the move. In terms of safety at BS, I just might be more interested in how likely it is that my child would go off campus in a fellow students car. THAT could spell trouble if a school doesn’t have a well thought out policy on vehicles and access and permission to ride with/drive other students. While the thought of losing 10s of thousands in tuition over a drug/alcohol violation would upset me, it’s not even in the same galaxy as the level of distress I’d be sweating out if my child got in a car accident as a passenger or driver.</p>