<p>My D is OOS, currently living overseas with me, and starting her freshman year in August. She has been an excellent student all her life and is (or was) extremely focused, so much so that she got into a very competitive college with a great merit scholarship. Now she is more preocupied with having the time of her life between high school graduation and college and is not the least bit interested in combing evey link of her university's website, as I do. I print out interesting, informative stuff for her to read and she won't even glance at it. I'm having a hard time getting her to read the course registration information that even the university asked her to read before arriving. </p>
<p>Her response is that "I'll figure everything out when I get there." </p>
<p>My question: Is this normal? Is anyone else going through this? </p>
<p>Facing the prospect of starting college in a few weeks is stressful for every new student, but different kids cope with it in different ways.</p>
<p>I say let her do it her way BUT you continue to do it your way. And, if you happen to run across any information that is truly essential and that she won't find out on her own, share it with her. But I don't think she wants to hear the merely interesting stuff because it forces her to face something that she isn't ready to process yet.</p>
<p>My son, now a college junior, coped with the summer before college in much the same way your daughter is doing. He didn't want to think about it or prepare for it until the last minute (which consisted mostly of one massive trip to a shopping mall, less than a week before move-in). This hurt him a bit at course registration time (he ended up flunking a math placement test that he could easily have passed and therefore taking precalculus over, and he mistakenly registered for an appallingly difficult chemistry course when he could have satisfied the same requirement with a much easier course). But he survived. Somehow.</p>
<p>I suspect it is just a harmless combination of decompressing after high school - sort of delayed senioritis, avoidance of the college stuff for now out of nervousness about the future, and taking advantage of one last chance to be an irresponsible kid before taking the big plunge.</p>
<p>Yes, I'd say normal.
My son did a little websurfing, but not a whole lot. Mainly prepared contingencies for when he was going to have to work his schedule during Preview.</p>
<p>Once he got there, though, he was like a kid in a candy shop. First I get a phone call..."Hey Mom, I went to a meeting last night about study abroad opportunities. Can I do it next summer?"
Then it was..."Hey Mom, I'm interviewing for lab positions."
Then..."Hey, can I join a fraternity?"
Then..."Hey, will you deposit $100 dollars extra so I can pay the dues for AMPSA (???Don't know the exact acronym- some premed student association.)
Then..."I'm playing intramurals."
..."I joined the "rabid gator" club (I'm making the name up)"
..."I figured out that I can get a Bio Engineering degree with a minor in Chemistry and Genetics in the same time it would take to do Chem Engineering."
....on and on and on...</p>
<p>Your daughter will probably surprise you once she gets there and gets around all those other kids who are going every which way for Sunday.</p>
<p>Also, can't she take the Math and Chem placement tests online from at home?</p>
<p>Don't sweat it. D didn't even think of leaving for college until 2 weeks before move in date. It all worked out.</p>
<p>Time for you to decompress also. College applications, scholarship applications, senior year--it's been a giant whirlwind for not only your D, but for you.</p>
<p>Oh yes, this was my son to a T last summer before he started college. It drove me crazy. We spent so much time and energy on applications, then waiting for acceptances that I thought that he would be so into finding out all about the college of his choice when all the info kept coming in the mail. Nope. He seemed to care less. He just went into turn off mode. </p>
<p>I think the whole going to college thing all of a sudden became very real to him. It was a bit overwhelming and so he just needed to not deal with it until he had to. He wasn't even into shopping for his dorm room. We went to BBB together and he just kept saying "I'll just take that" or "whatever, you pick." I wanted him to get excited and want to personalize his dorm room to make it his own. But that didn't happen.</p>
<p>When we got to college was when he began to get a little excited. He got into setting up the room and then got swept up in the excitement of orientation.</p>
<p>It sounds like your daughter needs a break...so I would say lay low for now and do your own research. Jot things down for future reference. This is a very big time in our kids lives. I think it's good to give them to space to handle it as they need to, even if that means avoiding it altogether.</p>
<p>For what it's worth, my kids' school more or less discourages kids from spending too much time with the catalog until they meet with their advisors during orientation week. Not that all of the kids follow that advice, but there's no question that they can develop unreasonable plans and expectations. Kids who don't even glance at it do fine when they meet with the advisors; so do kids who studied it intensively.</p>
<p>Realistically, a couple-three hours with the catalog some time before she has to commit herself to course registrations is probably the most that would actually be necessary. Some kids will do more than that, but that's because of who they are. Some parents will do more than that, too (moi!), but that's our anxieties and other stuff operating, not anything that's necessary for our kids.</p>
<p>My D is doing that now and she is a rising senior. She is not looking at any college yet. In addition, this summer she is been watching every single Disney movie we own the ones that she used to like as a kid, reminiscent the past, that kind of thing. As I'm typing, she's reading Harry Potter book.</p>
<p>One of the traits I most admire in my own S is his ability to fully live in the moment. Most of us have this when small and lose it with varying degrees of alacrity as we get older. Not saying it doesn't cause me the same frustration and worries as the OP: "why isn't he getting ready? why doesn't he seem to be excited? ...." But that sometimes our kids are wiser and have their priorities in better order than we do.</p>
<p>Focusing on enjoying her current activities - and this last summer has great meaning in many ways for most pre-frosh - is fine. She is preparing herself emotionally, intellectually and psychologically for the momentous next phase in her life in ways that you can't see and only part of them are conscious even for her.</p>
<p>Those of our kids who didn't start packing until zero hour, didn't know their school's websites as well as their moms and dads did, weren't sure when or where to check-in on Move-In Day (although we parents knew it all by heart) did great. Yours will too. </p>
<p>BTW, my rising college junior is also at this moment reading the Harry Potter book. But I know he'll be ready to show up at his summer intern position on Monday morning, take his online summer class on Monday night and be ready for the return to school at the end of August - which to them is a gadzillion hours away and not worth thinking about yet. They really do come through.</p>
<p>Overseas kids have a double whammy to process. Their new US college life will be very disconnected from their friends' lives in Rio or wherever. They have to adjust to the idea of hanging out with big groups of suburban American kids. American kids are very different from Brazilian kids. Their sense of humour is different.</p>
<p>If they are going to top schools--they have to adjust to the idea of intense competition. It's a lot to process.</p>
<p>Let her party and dance till she drops. She will figure itout when she gets there. Take the hint and back off.</p>
<p>Thank goodness orientation and course registration were done in May. Now all my D wants to do is go shopping; but not for the stuff she needs for her dorm room. Her eyes started to glaze over when we went to BB&B a couple of weeks ago. She didn't even want to go computer shopping (I forced her to go, but when it came to ordering it, her father and I did it for her). She's really not all that interested in 'hanging' with her friends from h.s. All she wants to do is to shop for clothes.</p>
<p>Mine did the exact same thing rio. She actually read everything on the long lazy drive to Chapel Hill, but wasn't interested in thinking about college until we actually pulled out of the driveway. As long as she, or you ;), understand the new curriculum requirements, which are a little confusing, she'll be fine. </p>
<p>And she will have a blast...that first week they really roll out the red carpet for the freshmen. So much fun ... even a wee bit hard to settle down. :)</p>
<p>Another factor is they know they really don't have to worry, as anxious parents will take care of the necessary stuff and all they have to do is show up.</p>
<p>I was glad they had a new student orientation for our S in the summer before he started school. He met with the advisor and registered after that. Fortunately for him, I had practically memorized all the details concerning his major, since he hadn't bothered to look at the catalog. Even after meeting with the advisor, he would have registered for some classes that he did not need. (He went to Texas A&M and most of the courses he had planned to take were already full, so we had to go to lots of "plan B's".)</p>
<p>Imagine how shocked I was when he called me in January of his sophomore year and told me he was changing his major. He explained all about how it was going to work out and he wasn't going to lose any credits, blah-blah-blah, and he was right. He handled it all by himself!</p>
<p>The one thing I would be concerned about would be early registration. Some colleges do ask students to register for courses over the summer and some classes fill up quickly. There may be some requirements regarding vaccinations, medical check=up and the like. But on the whole, I would not worry if a student did not begin to think about college until a couple of weeks before school actually starts.</p>
<p>print the stuff out, make a folder and if you are driving or flying, she can spend that time reading it....however, ask her to at least check out, as marite said, the forms for vaccindations and check-ups, sometimes it can be difficult getting an appointment at the last minute</p>
<p>that would be one thing I would MAKE her check that out, as it affects you and your time</p>
<p>UNC likes freshman to have a grasp of the approaches, connections, etc...aspects of the new curriculum and to have looked over the advising forms for their majors (if they know in what they are interested) before they register at CTOPS. (All is available online and in the freshman guide.) But when each group is allowed access to registration during their 'window', there are advisors standing by should they have questions. Parents are not allowed in the registration session, so although I wouldn't worry about knowing every little thing about UNC, it is a good idea to jot down a list of desired classes along with a few backup classes before going in.</p>
<p>Printing all this out for travel reading material is a good idea...that's exactly what we did and ldgirl was well prepared by the time she arrived. And I have to agree with the 'well adjusted' description of someone who is living in the moment while they can. (Even though I remember how frustrating it can be for Mom....lol!)</p>