<p>Maybe during winter break or next summer your son will have time to do more research, think about other possibilities. Maybe his friends will get him interested in some other schools. But if not, let him be. His situation is fine.</p>
<p>My senior has only applied to (been accepted) at one school. He just isn’t that interested in the whole search/application process. This is an OOS public that offers a full ride for NMFs. He’s not crazy about it, but he has visited (his brother goes there) and thinks it is good enough. He likes to do things efficiently. (His older sibs applied to 3-4 colleges each).</p>
<p>S also liked another LAC where he did a summer program, but he knows we can’t afford it, so he didn’t apply.</p>
<p>I have two seniors, and each only applied to one school, were accepted and we are done. D1 is very decisive, usually picks something and is happy with it, and that’s what she’s done with picking her college. She was happy with her choice before we visited, and was ecstatic with it after.</p>
<p>D2 always has buyer’s remorse over anything from running shoes to vacations. She looked at a lot of schools, and because she’s an athlete she was asked to look at many more that we knew she wouldn’t go to (mostly small D-III schools in Ohio - why? We don’t live anywhere near Ohio!). She was looking at the military academies and was recruited by Smith, two D-1 schools, a few D-2 schools, and all the LAC. When she found THE school, she has never looked back. The only question was whether I could afford it, and we made that work. She signed an NLI, bought the t-shirt, and it’s a done deal.</p>
<p>The only danger is if something happens, they have no back up schools and would have to either take a year off or go to community college, but that could happen if a student accepted a school from a pile of acceptances and the chosen school fell through. It’s not like the other schools have saved a place for the student once the student turns down the acceptance.</p>
<p>If a student gets into his #1 school, why keep applying to others? If a student gets into his first choice, does it matter that it wasn’t a ‘reach’ school, that it was a ‘safety’ school? No, it only matters that it is a good match.</p>
<p>I was the same way. I knew from the time I was about 3 I wanted to go to UT-Austin. I had strong stats, too, but since UT cost $4 / credit hour and had one of the best civil engineering departments in the country, it was a no-brainer for me. I still had people questioning why I wasn’t applying to MIT, though. I got a fantastic education at UT, by the way.</p>
<p>If you feel strongly, then I would say that you want him to visit and/or apply to at least two other schools. You want for him to see what is available at some other schools. For example, say his school doesn’t have a crew team(making up an example) and that is something he would like to try. Or that they are big on crew and his pick school also has that but he didn’t know.</p>
<p>Or he may have never seen a small school and didn’t know what is good about that. Or that now he as seen one, that confirms that he wants a big school.</p>
<p>The other thing I would ask him is why he wants to pick only one to apply to? Anxiety? Other people who are attending? Close to home? Good value?</p>
<p>I might tell them as a parent I feel obligated to have them check out the different options, but the final choice (within your financial parameters) is up to him.</p>
<p>If the school is a safety for admissions and cost, and is otherwise suitable academically and otherwise (seems like it is academically suitable, if it is University of Minnesota - Twin Cities for math or computer science), then don’t worry about it.</p>
<p>If it is not a safety, then he needs an actual safety for his application list (unless his safety is to start at an open admission community college).</p>
<p>Be glad that he is not fixated on a “reach for everyone” school.</p>
<p>So your son is a junior. I didn’t really notice that at first in your post. Don’t worry about this now. My son was totally uninterested in the application process, even in Feb. of senior year. He honestly woke up toward the end of fall term in senior year and ended up at an Ivy. (I actually wanted him to go to the state flagship and still wish he had.)</p>
<p>I am with those who say require him to at least visit a couple of other schools - small LACs, private Us, (assuming those are financially within reach). You can simply tell him that you will respect his decision about where to apply, you are not comfortable with him not even looking somewhere else. That being said, if he goes to those visits with a bad attitude, it may end up accomplishing nothing. If he sees some other schools and talks to his guidance counselor about schools and still wants State flagship honors, be happy! I do know a kid that did this and was somewhat frustrated that the school was a bit too easy, but he ended up enjoying himself and learning a lot. He got a good job and with the “free ride”, now has money for grad school. </p>
<p>My middle son was sure he wanted a school that offered a specific type of program and had a suburban campus. He wound up at a very urban big State U. He is very happy.</p>
<p>I don’t think distance has anything to do with how independent a kid is away at college. My son is about 35-40 minutes away, but we don’t see him very often. There are some pluses - esp at Thanksgiving or when he is not feeling well. In now way is he any less independent than his older brother was when he went to college 5.5 hours away.</p>
<p>Wow that’s cool, that there is a state u that is small enough to know people. Doesn’t really happen that way in Michigan with 40,000+ kids in each of the big flagships. My older two might just might have stayed in-state if it were possible to have a flagship that was small enough to feel that intimate. Anyway I digress, the thought of the statement I quoted just blew my hair back.</p>
<p>UMN-Twin Cities math dept has class sizes of 20-35, very nice. Not all majors at UMN are so cozy. They run a great 2 semester honors math sequence for freshman that bypasses the regular calc/MV and gets right into proofs. Be happy to have a school so high-ranked in his major right in your backyard for so cheap. The only schools substantially stronger in math are MIT and several Ivies, maybe Michigan and UCB and 1 or 2 other CA schools are marginally better. The NMF scholarship will pay for most of tuition. Seems a great deal. </p>
<p>Maybe you’d like to trade? Trying to persuade my mathy NMSF likely junior to attend UMN-Twin Cities or our flagship UW-Madison, but he has stars in his eyes at the moment, waiting for them to clear. He isn’t interested in tiny LACS or small towns, so that restricts our search quite a bit already, but I would gladly forgo any more visiting and stressful waiting on decisions.</p>
<p>Is your son happy in cities and large schools? Does he like winter? Hockey or other big school sports? If you are thinking he would be more comfortable in a smaller school and quieter environment, or a warmer climate, those are legitimate concerns. But you don’t need to be concerned in the least about the strength of his chosen dept at UMN. Is there something else about UMN that worries you in terms of fit?</p>
<p>St. Olafs, as someone mentioned, does a very nice job with undergrad math and is not far from home.</p>
<p>momofthreeboys: I wrote this, and the school I was referring to wasn’t small (although the state is fairly small).</p>
<p>When you go to your own state university, you start out with a social circle. There’s you, your roommate, the 50 or so people from your high school class who are on the same campus, and the 50 or so people from your roommate’s high school class who are on the same campus. That’s about a hundred people already. And then you discover that a whole lot of people who were a year or two ahead of you in high school also go to State U, and so do people you know from jobs, extracurricular activities, or life in general.</p>
<p>It’s quite a different situation from the student who goes to an out-of-state or private school where they know nobody.</p>
<p>You’re lucky he’s looking at college at all. My son, also a junior, shuts down every time we bring the topic up! If you’re sure he’ll get in and the school is affordable, I wouldn’t worry. He can only go to one school anyway, and if he knows the one he wants already, he’s fortunate.</p>
<p>I guess that must just depend on which state school you are talking about and how far out of their way a kid goes to maintain HS connections. I went to umich and only knew one kid there from high school, who I hung out with once or twice on purpose but would never have even bumped into had we not gone out of our way. My roommate knew one or two kids from her hometown that she stayed friends with. That was about it, and my roommate and I never became more than casual friends and did not blend friends at all. My first year there were two girls next door to me who were apparently from my hometown, the only ones I ever bumped into, but I had never heard of them before and we didn’t become friends either. </p>
<p>I grew up 25-30 minutes from the campus, my roommate was from more like an hour away I think. I imagine both of us must have had more former classmates in Ann Arbor with us, but we just never laid eyes on them. We didn’t bring 10 connections to the table between us, much less 50 each. And while I may not have had a wide social circle in HS and I went to a giant high school where I may not have known very many people, she was a varsity cheerleader at a small to normal sized school and wasn’t any better off than I was.</p>
<p>My S1 was also a top kid (#6 in his class) in his large (2900 students) high school.
He was only interested in our big state u. (2.5 hours from home). We dragged him through a visit at another state school but it was a waste of time. He had a NROTC scholarship so could have gone to many schools across the country tuition free. He wouldn’t budge. His mind was made up. The Val and Sal of his class also attended big state u’s in our state.</p>
<p>I would estimate at least 40 friends fr. his class also attended his univ. A few of them were his best friends. He roomed w/ one of them. He made tons of friends outside of his hometown friends through NROTC and just meeting friends of friends. He was very social.
He got two merit scholarships fr. the university in addition to his NROTC scholarship so it morphed into a fullride. He graduated w/ Honors. With all the money that was saved he was able to buy a house at age 23. I can’t tell you how much he loved his school/ college city. He talks about moving back there when he leaves the Navy. He has never had any regrets.</p>
<p>S2 (not a top scholar like his bro.) chose a different instate big state u.(4 hours fr. home) He too, roomed with friends from h.s but made LOTS of friends through various friends. S2 was not as social as S1 so having familiar faces around really helped him at the beginning of college. Through his network of friends, he morphed into a more confident outgoing young man and really enjoyed his four years of college.</p>
<p>This doesn’t necessarily worry me. Yes, I think it’s a good idea to take a hard look at all options. But some kids just feel destined for that big state U they grew up loving. If there’s a good program in the major, most of those kids are happy and wouldn’t change a thing.</p>
<p>To the OP, I’d say just buy a Fiske guide to the colleges and leave it lying around. Chances are, your kid will eventually pick it up and learn a little something.</p>
<p>You never know where you’ll see familiar faces. S15 came along with us for D13’s visit to UMN-Twin Cities last year. We have reciprocity with Minnesota, so a fair number of local kids attend. During the dorm tour he was doing high5s with UMN freshmen he knew from high school. In fact, everywhere we went he was saying ‘hey’ to kids he knew. I was baffled. ‘They are all at least 3 years older than you. How can you know all these kids?’ I think it has something to do with being in sports.</p>
<p>On the other hand, D chose a big state school 1700 miles from home and found out when she arrived that the girl in the dorm room opposite hers attended high school 5 miles from her. She didn’t know the girl, but it is a reminder of how small the world is.</p>
<p>I think I agree with the consensus here. If he were my kid, we’d visit a few more schools over the next 12 months - one or two of my choosing and one or two of his. I would all but force him to apply to a handful of schools that could work for him - and for me. </p>
<p>If you need to couch it as having a back-up plan if state budgets get cut, or there’s a nuclear winter at his chosen campus. Unpredictable things do happen so, he (and you) need options.</p>
<p>Only once the acceptances are in, can you make an objective decision - together. If he’s still hell bent on his dream school - so be it. At least he will understand his options and have made an informed ‘adult’ decision.</p>
<p>BTW - my son goes to school 100 miles away. A kid 3 doors down in his dorm went to the high school across town.</p>
<p>My son was similar to yours, OP. He liked the state flagship, didn’t have a clue what else he might try. He humored us and applied to a few others, but went to the state school and is completely satisfied. </p>
<p>I do see advantages to my son’s choice. H and I had wanted him to go far way, to have a real adventure in college, but S didn’t think that was so important. He is challenged but not overwhelmed by his school work. He is able to pursue some of his non related interests with passion. He has a cadre of friends from high school. Because he is pretty close, he can come home or we can go there more frequently. Having friends already and being able to visit easily have kept him from being homesick at all. I went far away and remember being very homesick. He was familiar with the campus before he went from his upperclassmen friends, so he really hit the ground running. There was no culture shock. He knew what to expect. I remember having a lot more to figure out as a freshman. It was worth it to me, but I am wired differently than my son. </p>
<p>You can just continue to suggest to your son that he visit a few other places, maybe apply to a few. Don’t be afraid to tell him you don’t want him to be regretful, or that going away to college can be a geographical adventure. He can consider those arguments and accept or reject them.</p>
<p>Thank you for all the thoughtful replies. They helped me to sort things out and formulate a plan. I think it may be a comfort level issue for my DS - he is a kid who broke out in hives before starting middle school and HS. He has that perfectionist bent that is a blessing/curse where he has to feel he somewhat knows what to expect ahead of time. </p>
<p>So taking everyone’s experience and advice on here, I made a deal with him tonight that he would spend a night at UMN TC in regular and honors dorm (at different times), hang out for a time on the campus - go to the cafeteria and student union etc and some common classes incl a general honors class to get a feel for the place. </p>
<p>Then apply to some other universities with honors programs and “real” sports teams (another thing he likes) like Madison, TAMU, Alabama, maybe Barrett (any others recommended)?</p>
<p>Get apps mostly done this summer and see what happens - where he is accepted, if he gets into honors program, if there is any merit money offered etc. Then out of acceptances, choose at least 2 others to visit (hopefully there will be that many if he applies to enough of them).</p>
<p>He can do the UMN thing this year and do the other ones next year, then decide. </p>
<p>This feels like less of a pressing issue now thanks to all of you because I realize we don’t need to get visits in before applying - we still have next year to do that and only to ones where he is accepted. We are still limiting options overall, but under the circumstances, it’s a big improvement. In the end, I think DS will ultimately feel better if he ends up going to UMN TC if he actually chooses it from others instead of default position. I’ll feel better about it too!</p>