<p>We just got our son's grades for his first semester at school. With 3 F's, B and a C+ you can only imagine what is going on at our house. No offices are open right now to find out if he can even enroll next semester. From what I can find on the school's website it looks like they are a little lenient with 1st semester freshmen. Other than not studying as much as he should, he doesn't really know what he was doing that caused his failure. I don't know how to help him, IF I should help him or what the next steps should be. If he can re-enroll next semester he will retake all the F classes. Any advice?</p>
<p>Tell him that if he fails again, he’s gonna work at a supermarket or fast food place until hear understands that it’s in his best interests to either do well in college or at least get some vocational training that’ll make him employable.</p>
<p>As for helping him, maybe you should discuss how to go about studying. Why did he fail? Was he unable to handle the workload? Did he not understand the material? Did he spend more time studying ‘biochemistry’ (aka seeing how much booze he can have before blacking out) and ‘anatomy’ (;)) than his academic classes?</p>
<p>I would also ask this question in the Parent’s Forum; the parents there might have some constructive input as well.</p>
<p>How did your son perform in high school? If he was a good student, then it is clear there are other issues (like not studying at all, not sleeping at all, etc.) that will have to be addressed.</p>
<p>I would not take his denial of knowledge about the reasons for granted.</p>
<p>We have talked about drinking/drugs. He denies it and I believe him based on how he was in HS and how he has been when I have seen him at school or at home for breaks. However, he is very into video games and I think that has taken up a lot of his time.
In HS he was not a great student either. Hight test scores but didn’t turn in assignments, waste time, etc. We had talked about college-must study, talk to profs., but I think he got in over his head and didn’t know how to get out.</p>
<p>I think he’s misleading you by saying that he “doesn’t really know” why he failed. Perhaps I’m harsh, but don’t let him win your sympathy like that. F’s don’t put themselves on a transcript, and they don’t sneak up on a student wholly without his noticing. He needs your support, but at the same time he needs an impulse to man up and be honest with himself and you about why he failed. That what I feel I would need/want if I were in this same situation.</p>
<p>My parents always told me that if I failed a class, I had to pay to re-take it. Seems like a fair deal to me.</p>
<p>I agree that he needs to figure out why exactly he failed. Was it video games, did he not understand the material, does he need to switch majors?</p>
<p>He needs to do something differently no matter what.</p>
<p>If he doesn’t really know why he failed, then he can’t fix it. No use in sending him back to school next semester only to see a repeat. Honestly, I would say he either needs to QUICKLY figure out why he failed or he needs to take a semester off.</p>
<p>Take him to downtown and Chinatown, tell him that he is going to end up there if he doesn’t start working.</p>
<p>Does it say on his student account page if he has a specific “status?”. Where I work it will say if a student is in “good standing,” “academic probation,” or “suspended.” </p>
<p>It sounds like you looked on the college or university on-line catalog to see his school’s academic standing policies and procedures. This should give you an idea as to whether he will be able to stay in classes for the spring semester. Some schools will put a student on probation for the spring semester to give them an opportunity to bring up GPA. In this case your son’s academic advisor should work with him to choose classes for the spring… As you mentioned, choosing to take a few of the classes he failed this fall “repeat credit” (or whatever it is called at his school), basically this will replace the F grades with the grades he earns in those same classes in the spring. This will help him raise his GPA more quickly. </p>
<p>All that being said… because he failed so many classes (which he will likely need to repeat) he will likely be behind credit-wise even if he successfully completes his spring semester classes. As I often say to my advisees after a semester where they have failed or withdrawn from a significant number of classes “you just paid full time tuition to be a part-time student for the semester.” </p>
<p>Did he go to college with an expectation of a GPA he should aim to achieve in order to stay in school? For example, my parents made it clear to me that they would cover my undergraduate college tuition, room, and board as long as I earned at least a 3.0 GPA. Their philosophy was that if I was not maintaining that GPA I should take time off to work and think about whether or not I really wanted to be in school. </p>
<p>I advise freshmen students, and many do struggle with the transition to college… Fewer assignments go into computing the final class grade, more free time, higher expectations for independent work and time management. Students are not in class for as many hours as in HS, so they have to figure out how to manage their time outside of class to complete work, study, take advantage of faculty and TA office hours, go to academic support services, etc…</p>
<p>All the best to your family and your son as you work through the best plan of action.</p>
<p>I tried to look at your older posts- it sounds like your DS is at an ABET accredited engineering school, in computer engineering. That is a really tough path and maybe it was simply over his head. He surely has a lot of company (so many engineering schools do the ‘look to your left, look to your right…’ and only a subset of students stay with it).</p>
<p>“Other than not studying as much as he should, he doesn’t really know what he was doing that caused his failure.”</p>
<p>Obviously, a lot of things.</p>
<p>Not to sound harsh…but even with the toughest major, an 0.5 is almost impossible if you try even the slightest bit.</p>
<p>Yeah, not studying as much as he should would be the issue. He can’t expect it to be like high school, where you can go to class and do fine on the tests. That doesn’t happen anymore.</p>
<p>If he is in engineering, as a previous poster mentioned, he needs to realize that he should be devoting at least 40 hours a week to classwork. Say he’s taking 15-18 credit hours…that’s at least 2 hours outside of class for each hour spent in class. A good part of that will be working on assignments, a good part will be studying and reviewing.</p>
<p>Video games may very well be the issue. Or just the lack of effort in general. You have to put in the time and effort. You should go to class. Make sure you do all of the assignments. I’d wonder if he even did half…or if he even goes to class.</p>
<p>I don’t know how your child could not know. Like a previous poster suggested, don’t give in to his/her sympathy; need to get the truth out so you can help.</p>
<p>Maybe engineering is not for him. It would be a good idea to re-evaluate and see if he has interests or talents in other areas.</p>
<p>CS is a very demanding major. It requires a lot of higher math. If you aren’t good at that, you likely will have trouble. If you have such poor track record, time to switch to IT/Business, if the school offers it.</p>
<p>Honestly, kids that spend that much time on games aren’t known for spending time on school.</p>
<p>Edit to say: this must be very stressfull right now for everyone. While it is a terrible semester, I’d try to discuss that there is a problem to be worked on rather than there is a problem that can’t be fixed. He should have told you and his RA, his advisor and everyone else before it got this bad. Why didn’t he? Does he know how to ask for help?</p>
<p>.
Even computer engineering,
getting straight F’s is very hard unless you try to fail.</p>
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<p>Best advice so far.</p>
<p>I’d also add that maybe college isn’t for him? What was his major going to be? Maybe he’d benefit more from a professional school?</p>
<p>My first major was computer science and I flunked out of college. That was years ago, right out of HS (I actually left HS early to go to college). It was pure immaturity. I imagine there are things your son isn’t telling you. He has probably gotten back tests or assignments back with Fs and has not mentioned it to you, or he did what I did: skipped class all of the time. I too was not up front with my parents about why I failed so badly.</p>
<p>While I’m glad I spent eight years or so living in the real world before I came back to college (physics and compEng major, 4.0 GPA now instead of all Fs), I would say you’re better off putting your foot down and forcing your son to do a better job. Maybe stick him in a community college for a year or two (they accept anyone, so his Fs won’t matter, plus the class sizes are smaller) so you can save money. Put it <em>on him</em> to do well and make him pay for his credit hours if he has to take a class again. I almost wished my parents had done the same with me (although in my case, I definitely benefited from waiting until I was mature and decided what my real major was going to be).</p>
<p>The standard deviation of IQs is invariant across all populations. Someone has to end up with the low IQ. in the US, the average IQ is slightly lower than that of comparable countries (98 for the US as opposed to 100 for Belgium, China and UK, 105 for Japan, 102 for Germany, 101 for Switzerland). However, this slight decrease in average IQ is huge in terms of low IQ population, as the standard deviation in IQ is only 15, meaning a lower average IQ of 2 puts millions more in the “low IQ” category!</p>
<p>If your son tries harder and still fails, it may not be his fault. He could just be born with a low IQ. Statistically, someone has to be it, and in the US, there are more “someones” than in comparable countries.</p>
<p>citations:</p>
<p><a href=“http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/IQ_and_the_wealth_of_nations[/url]”>http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/IQ_and_the_wealth_of_nations</a></p>
<p>Jones, G, Schneider, WJ (2004 or 2006?). “Intelligence, Human Capital, and Economic Growth: An Extreme-Bounds Analysis” (pdf). Journal of Economic Growth. </p>
<p>Dickerson, R. E. (May–June 2006). “Exponential correlation of IQ and the wealth of nations”. Intelligence 34 (3): 291–295</p>
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<p>My rules are similar, except I have to leave school for at least a semester to stay at home to pay off the failed class(es). As much as I love being home for breaks, the thought of that ever happening is definitely enough incentive to not fail. (And my parents consider D’s failing, even if Vanderbilt doesn’t.)</p>
<p>This is probably a result of a combination of uneven (or little/no) effort and bad planning. A .5 gpa is rare because people usually withdraw before they get a bad grade. Also, what did he say to you during the semester if you asked about how he’s doing in his classes?</p>
<p>As his parent you deserve a better answer from him than that he “doesn’t really know” what happened, because more than likely he knows and is just too embarrassed or scared to tell you what really happened. If he found his classes too difficult he may want to look into changing his major (engineering is known to be difficult). If it was apathy then he needs to realize what a serious situation he’s gotten himself into.</p>
<p>He’s not been honest. he knows why he didn’t do well. He knows if he wasn’t paying attention in class, spending too much time gaming, etc. And, if he doesn’t “know”, then he shouldn’t be allowed to go back until he does “know.”</p>
<p>*In HS he was not a great student either. Hight test scores but didn’t turn in assignments, waste time, etc. We had talked about college-must study, talk to profs., but I think he got in over his head and didn’t know how to get out. *</p>
<p>Sounds like he may need to be tested for ADD.</p>
<p>If he went to a rather “not demanding” high school, then he learned some really bad habits…that you can not turn in assignments and yet still skate thru and pass. It sounds like he never learned any study skills.</p>
<p>your son needs to understand that high school was a “right,” but college is not. If he went to a public high, then it was free, and that’s no longer so for college. It doesn’t sound like while he was in high school he “earned” the privilege of having money spent on college.</p>