There are good and bad aspects to any university. What you hear depends on who you to talk to, and even so, people are looking for very different things, so what I perceive as a negative, you might perceive as a positive. It is true that WUSTL will allow you to see a different part of the country. That sounds like it might be a plus to you. But it also means that you will be dealing with a much harsher winter then you’ve experienced, and it means that higher travel costs to and from home. Are these positives or negatives? It really up to you! I think it’s true, at least from my observations when I was on WUSTL’s campus, that Wash U students don’t base their identity on sports or fraternities. I don’t get the impression that school pride is, in and of itself, so much of thing at Wash U as it is at Duke. Plus or minus? You decide! Of course WUSTL students do seem to love their school, but Duke is truly a school pride place. That pride that isn’t just due to basketball and definitely not due to fraternities, though. It’s just a place where people feel proud of being a Dukie. That school pride gets interpreted as conceit, but the Duke students I’ve encountered are not conceited at all, though that’s the collective image. It is what is, but remember, the up side of school pride is easy camaraderie and connection.
Both are absolutely gorgeous campuses, though totally different in look and lay-out. You’ll find very serious academic students at both and definitely people who want to change the world at both.
I have a kid at Duke and, yes, it does seem to have a more somber tone than Wash U appears to have. It did strike me when we visited, that the students at WUSTL seemed happy and collaborative. Enough people report that this is true that I think it probably is. With respect to Duke, our impression during our visit was that it was not as happy-feeling. In fairness, it was bitter cold that day and nobody was happy, including us. Still, at Wash U, at least on the day we were there, you could see a lot of students working together on projects or socializing in groups of 5-10. At Duke, we only saw one table that looked like they were working together. Instead, there were mostly tables of 2-3 eating together or studying together in the library. Is Wash U more of a collaborative place? I have no idea, though if I had made a guess that day, based just on impression, I’d have guessed so. Plus or minus? It’s really personal preference whether you like to work/study in groups or as an individual. But yes, as a visitor, it did give off the feel that Wash U was “happier” and Duke not as friendly. However, now that my kid has been at Duke as a student, this has proved to be (mostly) wrong. The kids there are plenty happy, but they do take their studies seriously. It’s not unfriendly, though, not at all - though I understand now why it gives off that vibe, even though it’s not really reflective of the Duke experience once you are a student there. But really, don’t worry about your ability to be happy at Duke. My Duke student is not at all interested in fraternity life or basketball - while those are big presences on campus, they don’t swallow the rest whole. There is much more there than just basketball and frat parties, so don’t necessarily cross Duke off your list just because you don’t have those particular interests. Also, don’t let the fact that you grew up in Durham persuade you cross Duke off your list. The best thing about Duke is that it is incredibly diverse. There are so many international students, students from every corner of the US and the world, of every conceivable race, culture, religion and background. This may well be true of WUSTL too, of course. My impression when visiting was that WUSTL is much more homogenous, but I really can’t speak to Wash U’s makeup, and I’m not intending to make a comparison. I’m just emphasizing that Duke is a universe all of it’s own. Whatever you think about Durham, good or bad, it’s just totally different on the campus. The university is so international, not “southern” at all. This is something that my Duke kid absolutely loves - he talks all the time about how many different kinds of people he interacts with every day. He never experienced that before, and to be honest, he’ll be hard pressed to find it again. Perhaps the same is true at Wash U - I can’t speak to that. But it’s true at Duke, that I know. It won’t matter at all that there’s nothing new for you to discover in Durham, as most of the kids really don’t leave the bubble that is Duke (other than the many community service/research type projects sponsored by the university) anyway. There’s really no need to, as there are so many things to do and such an incredible range of people who live on campus, and plenty of events going on that you won’t be bored. Now, if what you are wanting is more integration with a city, that’s fair enough, and Duke isn’t it. Good or bad, that’s just not what Duke is like. But I don’t really think it will be all that different at Wash U. Wash U isn’t in the city; it’s a bubble, not unlike Duke, to be honest, in the suburbs. Initially, my kid was looking for more of a city experience, so this was actually something I asked of every Wash U student I encountered during our day there - how much to you go into St Louis? I didn’t find a single student who had made more than one trip into the city, which surprised me! In fact, most seemed rather baffled at the question. It’s not that you can’t go into to the city - the train is pretty easily accessible - but the students really don’t. We spent the following day in the city, and found it underwhelming. If you are envisioning Chicago or NY, STL isn’t like that, not at all. Of course, this is just my impression, and maybe there are lots of students at Wash U that spend time discovering all that STL has to offer, but I went looking for those students and didn’t find them. Take that for what it’s worth. Nevertheless, the kids at Wash U did indeed seem very happy and there’s most certainly a “Midwest Friendly” vibe.
You will not go wrong by choosing WUSTL! You will not go wrong by choosing Duke either. The school does not give off the same friendly vibe when you visit, but once you are a student there, there is a fellowship of being a Dukie, and you will not find it to be any less of a happy place once you have found your people. This is true, really, anywhere - it takes some time to find your group, but once you do, you will be happy. On that note, I would say this: if you do choose Duke, avoid the temptation to go home on the weekends, even if you are feeling lonely, especially in that first semester and even through the first year. It takes time to make friends and find just the right social fit, but there’s no shortcut - you have to be there, meeting people. When you go to school very close to home, it can be easy to just go there, where you are comfortable, but if you do, you miss out on the relationships that build during that time. If you go away to WUSTL, that won’t be an issue; if you stay at Duke, it might be something to think about. I promise you, though, there are so many different kinds of people at Duke that you will not be bored ,and it is not possible that you will not find interesting and engaging people. Don’t let notion that it is in your backyard convince you that there is less to offer, because that is a huge misunderstanding of what the school is like. Aside from the incredible diversity, the offerings to students are incredible, truly. There is almost nothing you could want that you cannot find there. Maybe this is true for Wash U as well - I would guess that it probably is. But Duke is very, very well funded and I’d venture to say that it rivals any university - any one at all - in terms of what students can do/find there.
I hope this helps. You really have two amazing options. You aren’t going to go wrong with either one! Good luck and enjoy these years!