<p>My niece is a gifted athlete and a senior. He mom is dying of cancer and probably won't live until Christmas. Mom and Dad are not going to be very helpful in the college process, so any advice she can get from the CC community will be very much appreciated.</p>
<p>First step: where should she apply? She wants a non-rural college in the Northeast, and prefers to play soccer, but is also very good at basketball. She doesn't want division I intensity, though, she wants college to be about academics. Wants a medium sized school with a nice campus. Maybe 700-2500 per class?</p>
<p>Her GPA is 4.0, but she only has one AP so far, and her school a small public and is not competitive. Her SAT is an evenly distributed 1880, and her ACT is 28. She is fluent in Spanish and English.</p>
<p>Here's one problem: she played club soccer in middle school, but since then because of the time consuming nature of her mom's illness, she has only played school sports. She's a big fish in her small pond. </p>
<p>Where should she apply, and how should she proceed? She had calls from coaches over the summer but was both naive and non-committal; nothing is decided.</p>
<p>My good friend, in a similar situation, chose to use a private college counselor to manage the college application process. Money was not an issue. Her daughter had very good results. </p>
<p>I will suggest that she apply to some early action schools. It will make the mom feel better to know that the D has a college to go to.</p>
<p>Can her GC and/or hs soccer coach take her under their wings this year? They should be willing to make a special effort for her, considering the circumstances. There’s helpful info here on CC about handling the athletic recruitment process - maybe some other posters can put up links to the specific threads. I know nothing about that except that it’s complicated. </p>
<p>Her stats would qualify her for admission at some selective schools. Adcoms consider the student’s curriculum within the context of what the hs offers, so having fewer APs will not be an issue. Dickinson College in Carlisle and Ithaca College in upstate NY come to mind - will finaid be an issue?</p>
<p>Early action and rolling admissions schools are good options - that way she’ll have some idea early on about her choices, and she can always get applications for RD schools in at the end of December if she wants additional ones. </p>
<p>Such a difficult situation - my sympathies and best wishes to all of you.</p>
<p>Have her take some of the college quizzes online - I think there is one here on CC but both of my daughters used the one on Petersons.com…you answer a lot of questions about what you want in college and then at the end you get a list of suggestions. I am in the Northeast but don’t know much about soccer schools. Does she want coed or womens, or would she entertain a womens school? It sounds like she has an advocate in you. Can you spare some time to go to a college fair with her? Depending on where you live there may be one this fall. Also, did she write down the names of the colleges that called this summer? Follow up on those. Look at college web sites. You can get a decent feel for a college online but you MUST visit to really get an idea. And its still only an idea. Can you meet with her hs guidance counselor and get some input? Some aren’t very helpful but others are. Also the private CC is a good idea if affordable. Much more individual attention. If you can tell us her academic interest CCers may be able to help even more. Either way, I think you’ll get good input and support here on CC. Good luck and keep us posted. I am sorry for your/her situation.</p>
<p>I would suggest following up on the schools from which the coaches called to start. I would also look for smaller schools which will look closely at the student’s application and personal situation. She might also try the women’s colleges, Mount Holyoke and Smith, for example, which accept a higher yield of applicants and just may be a bit more sensitive</p>
<p>You have had some good suggestions here. There are so many fabulous schools in the NE that seem to meet her criteria that she shouldn’t have to much trouble coming up with a list.</p>
<p>I would also suggest keeping things simple by using the common app as much as possible and encourage her to have a shorter list than the avg CC kid.</p>
<p>Second the rolling and EA course of action. If she has several acceptances before the holidays that will be one less thing to worry about at such a heart breaking time</p>
<p>Call the hs coach or encourage her or her dad to ask them for guidance. She may want to play club instead of NCAA. Good level of competition without the overwhelming committment that sometimes even D3 programs require.</p>
<p>Volunteer if possible to take her on college visits. It will get her out of the house and help you to get an idea of what she is looking for.</p>
<p>Small LACs do such a wonderful job in general of welcoming and creating community for their first year students I would encourage her to look in that direction.</p>
<p>Best wishes! you sound like a kind and involved auntie.</p>
<p>Oh and one more thing, Dave Barry does college counseling here on CC. It’s fairly reasonably priceed and I have heard good things about the result people have had after using his services.</p>
<p>Will she want to stay closer to home? I do think that it is important that she applies to several colleges fairly close to home (in addition to other colleges of interest farther away) in case she feels the need to be close to the rest of family after her mother passes. Sometimes kids who don’t think that they will feel that way, end up wanting to be close and present for the surviving parent and siblings. It is nice to have that option in April if she should so choose that…</p>
<p>Thank you for the sympathy, and the advice.</p>
<p>Good point, anxiousmom, about staying closer to home. The extended family is mostly within an hour drive of the hometown. </p>
<p>Also, sticking to the common app, and settling college plans earlier rather than later sounds like good advice.</p>
<p>About her academic interests: she is hard to pin down. I sense an understandable reluctance to think about the future, but I worry that her vagueness will make it hard to write a compelling story in the application. But we are talking about this. I think maybe it will come down to engineering or health sciences.</p>
<p>Good for you for stepping up to help out your niece. It certainly sounds like she will need all the support she can get. What a tough situation to be in.</p>
<p>There are a lot of colleges that fit the bill for a 4.0 average, 1880 SAT, 28 ACT kid, with 4000 - 10,000 kids in the Northeast. Some of them are Division 1, though. One other possibility - would she like to play soccer at a club level instead of varsity, if she ended up at a D1 school? Club teams play against other schools, but they generally are student run and practice only during their season. Much more low-key than varsity, but still competitive. </p>
<p>I also echo following up with the coaches that contacted her, if she kept their name and contact info. Also her h.s. coach might be able to help out - if you let him know you are trying to help your niece navigate the college process, perhaps he could give advice and keep you in the loop. Also be sure her guidance counselor is aware of the situation. I know GC’s are very busy but this seems like the type of situation that would qualify for a little extra time on the GC’s part if he/she is aware of what’s going on at home.</p>
<p>I had two roommates freshman year. (There were actually three of us in a room originally built for four.) One was a last minute add-on; her father had died recently - after she had committed to a far-away school - and she was able to switch to our school. Our college was was, I think, less than ten miles from her home and a small, supportive, LAC. This worked out well for her and for her mom; she had been close to her dad and she and her mom really needed extra time together. Because she lived on campus and joined one pretty time consuming EC, she really was fully integrated into college life. She made some nice friends, stayed four years, and happily graduated. </p>
<p>My point is, if she lives in an area that has an acceptable school nearby, she should apply there (among her other applications). Not everyone needs to stay close to home, and she might really be ready to go away next August - but it might turn out to be good for her to have an acceptance from a school close by.</p>
<p>Thank you everyone. Yes, I need to find out about how much money she needs to give her good advice. Hmm, that might be touchy between my brother and I.</p>
<p>She will call back some coaches tomorrow, and I’ll be able to get more of a feel for the situation then. We went through the common application today. The application is starting to look very good!</p>
<p>The Stats Eval through College Karma (Dave Berry’ and Sally Rubenstone’s group) is $150. We have done this with both kids as a reality check and gotten very useful feedback.</p>
<h1>1 issue on my list as far as colleges go would be the financial aid situation. Run an EFC, realize that any insurance proceeds may figure in (but may be countered by medical expenses). If Mom has been been working or collecting disability, the loss of that income must be factored into the equation. Expect that the niece and her dad may need to deal with FA offices for profesional judgment given all the issues here. Expect that dealing with college stuff may be the last thing Dad wants to deal with at the moment, and perhaps a gap year might be a consideration.</h1>
<p>Speaking as a mom who has been battling cancer, my #1 priority has been to get my kids successfully launched. It will mean EVERYTHING to this young woman’s mom to know that her D is moving towards her future. Keep Mom in the loop. The D will not be sorry, either. This will be precious, precious time for mom and D to share what they mean to each other and to pass on love, advice and strength to the next generation. Trust me on this one.</p>
<p>Don’t forget that many top colleges will allow an accepted student to take a gap year[ in some cases 2]. So she may be able to cast a wider net, if she knows she had the flexibility of spending more time with her parents in the months to come.
She, and her mom, may very well need and want that time together.
But I would NOT advise that she put off applying to colleges now. Better to get that done.</p>
<p>menloparkmom – I agree she should get her list together, contact coaches, and apply. My point was that Dad may find this to be more than he can deal with right now, and set limits that have nothing to do with the D and everything to do with his own stress and grief.</p>
<p>My heart goes out to your niece. Please make sure her coaches know what’s going on. Girls soccer can be brutal – and coaches can lean on seniors for leadership and a thousand small tasks.</p>
<p>The kids never want to say no to coach – it would be great if the coach helped her lay out a fall time line (she may do a lot more for the coach than for you) of what is due when. (As in “Kid, you won’t start next week if you don’t have your common app done” – or “For next week I want to hear that you got your SAT scores shipped to two schools” –</p>
<p>The best of coaches know that sports is about living LIFE to its fullest. The coaches may the key to her lifting her eyes to the future. They can help her break down the steps into do-able amounts. </p>
<p>As an Auntie, you are on thin ice – one thing you could do is write out a list of the things that need to happen (Common App, letters of reference, transcript sent, SAT scores sent, application fee sent) and take that quietly to the coach and ask if that list can be incorporated into the fall coach lectures for ALL of the seniors.</p>
<p>{{{{hugs}}}}} to you & your niece & everyone involved! So glad you’re there to help her & her dad through this challenging time. </p>
<p>If she’s willing to consider the midwest, they do look to increase diversity & may be willing to offer more merit/athletic aid, if funds are an issue (especially with medical bills). It would be great if her coaches could step up & help in this process.</p>
<p>Just to add collegeboard.com also has a great “locator”-type tool, where you can answer a bunch of questions (location, size, academic stats, . . .) and it’ll spit out a bunch of schools that match.</p>
<p>All good thoughts to this darling girl. Agree getting on with the college search will be a healthy diversion, wherever she ends up, and whether or not she goes next year.</p>
<p>This has got to be really tough for your niece (and for you). </p>
<p>On the athletics side, she first needs to get unbiased, reliable advice about how she fits into the college recruiting scene. If she hasn’t heard from coaches, an athlete who is “gifted” at the high school level may be a DI or DIII level player, or even not of college caliber. She also needs to understand that even DIII level college sports generally requires a major commitment of time.</p>
<p>After thinking about those issues, if she wants to use soccer or basketball to help get to a more selective school, she needs to call the coaches at the schools in which she might have interest and follow with game tapes.</p>