<p>Both of my son's EA schools have deferred him--so discouraging. MIT at least says outright it's not a "polite rejection." I know he's taking it better than I and has already been working on other apps.</p>
<p>How do you support him when you're feeling so sad for him?</p>
<p>ctymomteacher:</p>
<p>S's very good friend also got deferred at MIT. He seems to be taking it in stride, although we were surprised. He is so incredibly bright! It seems, however, that MIT is being supercautious because it admitted too many students a couple of years ago; so it is deferring more students than in the past. These deferred students do have a good chance of being admitted RD.
Keep in mind that there are other great schools where your S would be very happy. A good friend of my S is loving it at Georgia Tech.<br>
Help your S with the rest of his apps. There's a lot of purely mechanical tasks that you might take up to ease his burden. Does he have all his recs and transcripts lined up ready to send? It is best to check now since schools will be closed between Christmas and the deadline for sending out apps.<br>
Will keep my fingers crossed for a good outcome for your S.</p>
<p>Thanks, Marite. Yes, he has all of everything lined up, even new requests for recs and transcripts for a school that has been pursuing him which we discovered only recently has the relatively rare major he wants. I guess it isn't he who is out of control here. Chicago is the other EA school, and he is such a perfect match for the place that it was a stunning blow when he got the letter today. Again, HE seems okay.</p>
<p>I am sorry to hear of the deferrals. Try not to let him see how disappointed you are for him, so that he can keep his attitude as positive as it seems to be. It sounds as though everything will work out in the spring, especially with a school pursuing him, so the main thing is just to get all the applications out if they aren't already, and then try to enjoy what should be a relaxing time over the coming holiday break.</p>
<p>ctymom...Our D was deferred at the same 2 EA schools as your son. She was broken hearted when MIT's arrived as a small envelope, but seemed to accept the U of C small envelope ok. We await rolling admission from our state university in next 2 - 3 weeks with hopes of positive news there. We are worried that even that may not be as sure as we thought a week ago. She is finishing her Common App for a few schools along with one more to submit by year end. Now we worry if we need to scramble for another "safety" by year end. Sometime I think this whole process is harder on the parents - staying confident for our kids, while agonizing on the inside.</p>
<p>I agree, Morley. I swear I'd cut my left hand off if it would get him what he wants. And yes, I well know that wouldn't be what's best for him even if it could work. But I'd do it anyway. Mine's already gotten a rolling admisions acceptance, but it's at a school that's not even on the radar for the major he wants. He'd do music, mainly, if he went there. It's a regional uni. UNC-CH is the state school he'll be looking for now. We are fortunate to be in-state for that one. He has a good chance there, though he can only minor in the area he really wants there. There's alwys graduate school.</p>
<p>I wish you great good luck, and I hope it comes for you soon.</p>
<p>ctymomteacher, I know a kid who get deferred last year from Chicago. Everyone was stunned as he did seem the perfect match. He was very upset and even angry at the deferral. It all worked out, though, and he's at Chicago now.</p>
<p>Ctymom, the deferral rate at MIT was over 70%. The only local acceptances I know of were females. In fact, a girl who my son has been tutoring was accepted - I guess the 3-4 extra hours a week of physics and math help paid off. My son, however, was deferred. I doubt if he'll ever think of MIT in the same way again.</p>
<p>Thanks, SA.</p>
<p>And midwesterner, WOW. I can only imagine what you must be feeling for your son.</p>
<p>ctymom,
I'm sorry about your S's second deferral... that's got to be hard to take. It does sound like you have some good options to pursue. Remember, deferrals are not rejections. He could very well get in to both schools in the spring. Your son sounds like such a neat and interesting kid (as the parent of another late-bloomer, I have related to your posts over the past months). We still have not heard from Chicago, but the mail comes late in the day here. -- Momof2 in CA</p>
<p>ctymomteacher--Oh, I'm sorry! We were in a similar situation last year, though didn't go the EA route. S was rejected by MIT and that one didn't bother me, but not being accepted by Chicago was a blow. He was waitlisted. I was very disappointed by that one. (He, on the other hand handled it quite well). Shoot, I went there, and he is WAAAY smarter than me, and much more their type. And as I've said before, the odd thing is that I didn't think I even wanted him to go there. It was just that he is very much a UofC type, loves learning for its own sake, etc., and it just seemed wrong to me that they wouldn't want him, even though, as I said, I was not convinced he should go there. I had thoughts about not returning the waitlist card, because he seemed to be okay with his second choice, and H and I liked his second choice very much (and it was cheaper!). And the UC atmosphere is, well, rather intense, maybe too intense, was my feeling. But I did mail it, and S did send in something to Chicago indicating he was still interested. And he eventually did get in, much to my surprise. And I tried to talk him out of it! But I did not succeed. He said that if we made him go to his second choice school he would be applying for a transfer by spring to Chicago! So it was very clear he wanted to go there. He seems very happy there now. It was quite a roller coaster ride for me, emotionally. Another kid at his school also got in off the waitlist. It was kind of funny. This other kid refused to tell anyone where he was going to college until he got off the waitlist for Chicago. Apparently he was headed to UCSanta Cruz, it came out later, and was so elated to get into Chicago (note--I do not have anything against Santa Cruz at all, I think it is a fine school). I need to ask my son about him--haven't heard how he's doing.</p>
<p>I know that your son may not end up at Chicago, and you have to come to terms with the fact that it may not happen, and I know he'll do great at another place. But since it seems like it would be such a good fit, I really hope Chicago comes through for you.</p>
<p>midwesterner -</p>
<p>I'm very sorry your son was deferred from MIT, as he seems like a very helpful and kind person and MIT would be glad to have him. However, I seemed to sense a tone of bitterness and anger toward the institution because it admitted a girl who was inferior to him in physics as "he'll ever think of MIT in the same way again". That is a shame, because it is a fine university and he could very well be admitted in the regular decision round. Your son was obviously stronger than the girl was in physics, but what do you know of her other qualifications? Admissions officers attempt to build a class of diverse students with varying interests, because no one wants to go to a school with 4000 other students like him/herself. Maybe your son wasn't exactly what the officers were looking for this time around though I'm sure he could certainly hold his own against any of the rest of the applicants. Regardless, every admit to the school must have caught the committee's eye in some way, and I do not believe that we should belittle anyone's acceptance, as it is a great accomplishment (i'm ecstatic myself), just because they needed a little extra help in a certain subject. I, personally, am not afraid or ashamed to ask for help when I need it.</p>
<p>I wish your son the VERY best of luck in the regular action round and I hope to see him there :)</p>
<p>This will come off as trite but there is a midrash ( Jewish folk tales that illuminate Torah) that in essence states don't be too disappointed when things initially go the other way......maybe the author of your kid's life story has other plans.</p>
<p>Ooops! Make that Author.</p>
<p>Thanks for your support. And oldman, I did come back to that attitude by the middle of the Youth Orchestra concert last night. Things have always happened for him the way they should happen, and I know he'll be happy wherever he ends up. I just wanted it all to be his choice. He's such a big-hearted person that I think he deserves something special.</p>
<p>Anyway, we well know how fortunate we are to have the fine state school we have--which for him is a match-safety and to have another that's accepted him already and another that's after him. Things could be a lot worse, and there's something wonderful waiting for him wherever he goes. He's also of the mindset that is capable of happiness anywhere. It's a real talent. </p>
<p>mstee, thanks.</p>
<p>momof2inca, please let me know how things turned out for you in this round.</p>
<p><a href="http://blogs.mit.edu/madmatt%5B/url%5D">http://blogs.mit.edu/madmatt</a>
read 12/16 entry and 12/15 entry</p>
<p>My S was deffered last year from MIT and returned home yesterday after completing his first semester at MIT. I applaud MIT for posting these blogs for current applicants/parents. S was not accepted at all schools last year but this was the one school he wanted attend. His GPA, Test Scores, EC'S were all great and in everyone's range but not everyone wanted him. After going thorugh this process twice ( and one more to go) all I can say is college admissions are random! As it was mentioned the "Author" may have other plans..... Good Luck and best wishes, he will find his place and it just might be MIT.</p>
<p>ctymom, ask your son to hang in there. Take a small break and send the other apps in . As other people have said MIT deferral is not a polite rejection. And he might get into U Chicago in the regular round as well.</p>
<p>anonym7, that blog is so interesting!! Thanks for posting it. Especially the one about putting up a webcam with eggo waffles box and waiting for the fat envelope!! I wonder who the adcom's sources were..was it CollegeConfidential? :)</p>