<li><p>I’m planning on applying to another school EA and waiting to send most of my other applications until I’ve received the EA decision (my family would prefer to spend around $70 on application fees instead of $300+ total; I can’t blame them). I understand, of course, that I should be asking my teachers for recommendation letters now-ish. If a teacher went ahead and sent a recommendation before my application arrived, what would happen to the rec?</p></li>
<li><p>I emailed this question to the admissions office and have not yet received a reply (except for an automated “we got your mail” message right after I sent it). My mom seems to think I screwed up big-time and now have no shot because I’ve just said Stanford isn’t my first choice (though it’s very close); she thinks I haven’t received a reply because they’ve decided I’m not worth their time and they’ll reject me without hesitation. Does anyone else see this as a bit of an overreaction?</p></li>
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<p>I see it as an overreaction, if that makes you feel better. Stanford's website tells prospective students that they don't track interest. Believe them. They are not the kind of school that makes admissions decisions based on whether or not they think you'll come - they don't need to do that. Stanford has a huge waitlist every year, and they take very few kids from it because most students accept their offer of admission.
You haven't blown it. What I would suggest, however, is that you ask your teachers to write letters to your EA school now, and give them the envelopes to do so. Tell them you're applying early, and may not need to send in other applications, but if you do, you'll let them know after the decisions are out and provide them with the other forms at that time. Ask them to keep a copy of their letter so they can use it it turns out to be necessary.</p>