East Coast Parents w/West Coast College Kids

Parents Forum
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Hi! As I continue to make lists of target colleges w/my son, I had another question for the experienced set on these boards. Did any of you have a son or daughter from the East Coast attend a West Coast school? Did they adjust well or is it just too far and did airfare for breaks/summer leave you broke?!

I really want my son to consider Gonzaga - I like what I am reading about it. I think when you think of “fit” this might be a really good “fit”. Not too big, not too small, wide variety of majors, a good mix of strong students and hard working students, seems committed to merit aid which I think is a good motivator for kids.

Also, any school like Gonzaga (son interested in science, maybe engineering) that we should consider on East Coast?

Thanks for advice!

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One of mine went to the other coast for grad school and another one works there after an east coast undergrad education. Plenty of undergrads do attend 3,000 miles from home. It really depends. If you get flight tickets in advance they can be lower, obviously- even under $200. We certainly skip the Thanksgiving flight home.

Gonazaga looks like a nice school but there are many options on the East Coast if that is what works better. Gonzaga is a Jesuit school. Is that important to you or your son?

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I am another east coast parent whose kid is considering west coast schools. Kid found Pomona in a college match website and likes the pictures and general vibe of it. We’re not going to be able to afford to visit it before senior year and I worry about that. However they’re pretty selective and he might not get in and if he does get in they might not give us enough financial aid, so I might be worrying over nothing.

I like the look of the place well enough to spot the application fee and see where the chips fall. If he’s admitted then we’ll book a plane trip for admitted student day and see if it lives up to the website.

We have family in Southern California so he wouldn’t be totally alone for Thanksgiving. I suspect if he went there we would do a family cross-country road trip to get the kid and his stuff out there, since my husband has been dying to do a really long road trip vacation. I am less enthusiastic about that particular idea, but we’ll see

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Hey @compmom - we are Catholic and I grew up going to Catholic schools. My kids have done all the faith formation but my oldest (maybe my fault) does not “feel it”, if you know what I mean. He certainly would not weigh our religion into any school choice.

I don’t get the sense that Jesuit schools are religious schools these days? I wouldn’t mind it if they do inject Catholic values into the experience, but not so sure they do.

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My kids have both gone far away for colleges—1000 miles or more. Not east to west though. They’ve both had to adjust to the cultural differences, and have done so. One likes her college area more than the other does, but both are enjoying school.
Airfare—summer and Christmas tickets are generally very reasonable because Beginning and end of school year don’t happen at such popular travel times… Thanksgiving is exorbitant. One kid has family nearby and has never in four years come home. The other stayed with friends last year and was miserable. We got lucky on flights and she came home this year-Monday to Saturday, and not great flight times but we made it work. Spring break is also very expensive, about double the typical prices, but we make it happen. Also, flight costs can vary a lot by city. One kid is in a city where reasonably priced flights are the norm. The other kid I can rarely find any flight for less than $400 round trip and transportation to and from the airport is harder too. Also account for airfare and hotels and rental cars if you want to go visit kid at college or help with move in. It does add up.

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Our daughter is a Santa Clara University graduate. We live on the east coast. It was far from home, but she adjusted easily.

We flew her home for Christmas and summer. She went to relatives and friends in CA for the other breaks, or did community service trips organized by the school.

Honestly…the kid who went to college two hours away came home less often than the one across the country. The 2 hour away kid wasn’t here in the summers.

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My daughter is a freshman in Southern California. We live in the Wash DC area. She has adjusted very well, it is a good academic fit for her. It is a Catholic school, but she is not particularly religious despite going to Catholic school K-12. She did not set out to go to a Catholic university but it just ended up that way.

I don’t know necessarily what is drawing you to Gonzaga so can’t say whether you could find something similar on the East Coast. FWIW, most of the schools my daughter applied to were East Coast schools - she only applied to two on the West Coast. She did not want to stay very close to home as she was ready for a change so that meant our state flagship and another Catholic/Jesuit university (the most affordable!) were low on her list . Her top choice school was in NY but in the end, didn’t get enough merit aid to make it affordable. In April of her senior year, she was still torn about whether she wanted to go to the West Coast, but went for a “shadow” day and decided halfway through the day that she was ready to accept her spot in the freshman class as she felt it was a great fit for her.

She has three roommates, one who is an Engineering major from NY and the other two are from Northern CA. The NY roommate did not go home for Thanksgiving, but went up to L.A. with a school friend for the break. Our dd did fly home - we agreed this year in case she was feeling a little homesick her first year. I also bought her Thanksgiving ticket in August as soon as I knew her course schedule, b/f the lowest fares sold out. Funny, during move-in weekend, we met some parents from Seattle and somehow got to talking about flying. Their tickets from Seattle to Southern CA were more expensive than our tickets from the East Coast.

In terms of airfare, I sort of figured we’d plan for $1000 in airfare each year, but that should be lower if she does not come home the next few years for Thanksgiving. We had planned on using Southwest, which has direct flights from our area. However, I discovered that Alaska Air has the cheapest flights from BWI, our closest airport. Her flight home for Thanksgiving was less than $350RT and that was for direct flights each way. And the nice thing is that I can buy her tickets one segment at a time. For example, her flight home for Christmas was $240 but I did not buy her return b/c I was not sure when she needed to go back. Alaska then offered a Cyber Monday fare sale with flights for $99. I’m not sure where you are on the East Coast, but one of Alaska’s hubs is Seattle so if your home airport is serviced by Alaska, you could find pretty reasonable fares. I also got her signed up for a frequent flyer account.

@ninakatarina I’ll go with your dh on the road trip LOL. Dh and I spent three weeks on a cross country road trip back in our late 20s when we were engaged. I’ve since always wanted to do it with our kids but none of them seem interested. We did not drive our dd to her West Coast school to move in. It was easy enough to make use of the Bed Bath & Beyond Pack and Hold (you make a list of what you want at your local store, they pull them from shelves at the store nearest the college and hold them until you arrive - you don’t pay until you pick up and can remove anything you no longer want). We also picked up things at Target and IKEA near her school. For the most part with a few exceptions, she mostly just brought her clothes from home.

@Duchesslt ,if you are interested in Jesuit schools similar to Gonzaga in size that also offer engineering, you might consider Loyola University in Baltimore if you want to stay East Coast. They offer great merit aid. Dh and I went with dd for the admitted students day and were very impressed. I would have been happy to see my dd there as it checked many boxes, among them - she plans to major in IR so great being close to DC, plus it gave the most merit aid. Alas, it was too close to home for her, and with 8 of her h.s. classmates, including two of her good friends. going there, she was ready to go somewhere where she didn’t really know anyone.

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We are from New England and DD loves Stanford. We miss her terribly but are happy she is thriving there. Their FA package is wonderful - they include in the projected COA a generous amount for transportation/airfare. She decided to stay there over Thanksgiving as there are a number of others in a similar situation.

She has not spent a lot of time at home since - we have visited her out there a few times - which is a nice break from New England weather. A friend of hers (also on financial aid) from New York or New Jersey had to return home for a grandparent’s funeral - and the advisor/dean at Stanford just bought her the tickets. Super nice gesture.

Son had seriously considered Pomona, and while their FA was also fantastic, he found Columbia to be his new home. The distance from home matters much more to some kids than others.

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Thanks - adding Loyola.

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@3puppies. Congrats to your kids for getting into Stanford and Columbia. That is really an incredible accomplishment and opportunity for them.

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Jesuit schools are religious schools. Their mission to educate and of service is very much a part of every one of the 35 Jesuit colleges. They aren’t ‘catholic lite’ but they are very inclusive to students of all (or no) faith. Most of the schools have gorgeous churches or chapels on campus, most have more than a few Religious teaching or working or studying at the schools, and most offer a wide variety of courses on religion, art, art history, languages including Latin and Greek.

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My S made the west coast to east coast trek. While he still isn’t crazy about it, the Cali kid has managed to deal with the snowy winters. The weather and making the transition to being a college athlete were larger adjustments than the distance away from home. It really does depend on the kid. I honestly think it’s been harder on me than him. He’s a junior now and much to his chagrin (and the hubby and D18) I STILL get teary when he leaves. lol

In addition to purchasing tickets early as mentioned above, we found red-eye direct flights to be our best bet. It allows a whole day home on the front end and landing early enough to make a morning class if he has one on the back end. Most flights have been around $500 roundtrip. He has been home Thanksgiving and Christmas each year (he’s a spring sport athlete so no spring break for him). Best of luck to your son!

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You might look into U of Dayton (not East Coast but a lot closer than Spokane). Catholic (Marianists, I believe) but not overwhelmingly so. Good merit offerings and amounts are fairly transparent from the website. Students pay the same price (after merit/FA awards) for all four years (at least that was the policy last year) so no worries about annual increases. Lovely campus and the kids I know who go there (two from PA, one from DE and a nephew from Wisconsin) are all extremely nice kids who are very happy there. They seem to have varied internship opportunities for engineering students.

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Well for some kids it really is not a good idea. I think it varies. Some kids do well living at home or coming home eery weekend, so of course there is a spectrum. I have also seen miserable freshmen from the opposite coast, ready to leave and go home, who then thrived in the spring a few months later.

Personally, I am glad none of my kids went too far at 18, but they had some medical issues so…

These days with Skype and FaceTime (and in our case, emojis!!!) it is easier to stay in touch, though not the same as being there.

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Our daughter is a freshman at Occidental. We live in DC. We did not visit the campus prior to applying; in fact, the day we came out for drop off was the first time she saw the campus. Her older sister lives in Santa Barbara, and we have family in Davis, CA. She took the train up to SB for Thanksgiving. My husband is from Hawaii, and that is where we we all meet for Christmas. To be honest, it is easier to fly to LA than to get to Michigan especially with non-stop on Southwest from BWI. I think any time a trip home involves an airport you will not see them often even if it is a relatively shorter distance.

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I have a family member doing this - NYS to CA. It’s daunting to think of our loved one so far away but he is truly happy. Once the decision was made his parents started using an airline credit card for everything to help with the cost of flights. I know in the very beginning of freshman year there was some adjustment time. The student did say, “I didn’t realize quite how far away this was.” Weekend visit home was obviously out of the question. But after that period, all has been well.

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We live on the East Coast, and my son went to California for graduate school. It was fine. But then he stayed in California to work, and that has not been so pleasant.

Once both you and your kid are on working people’s schedules, it’s extremely difficult to talk on the phone from coast to coast because of the time difference. You tend to lose touch. Sometimes we won’t talk for a month or more because we can’t find a time to talk that would work for both of us. I miss him.

But this didn’t happen when he was a grad student, and I don’t think it would happen with an undergraduate, either.

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@Marian that’s too bad that you find it difficult to keep in touch with your son. My husband is from the West Coast - one of five kids. He is the only one to settle on the East Coast, yet he talks with his mother at least once a week, if not more, and regular(once a week) talks with one of his two sisters, as well as his two brothers. He talks to them more now that everyone uses cell phones, than he did when we were first married. It’s easier for him to catch up with them when he’s not at home and can call them when he’s on the road, etc. In fact, he talks more with his family than I do with my own parents, who live 20 minutes away from us. I think this is more a function of one’s relationship with his/her family and perhaps, type of job/schedule each of them have. 3 hours is not really a big deal for us. Now trying to talk with dh when he’s traveling for work, often once a month to Europe/Asia, is challenging. When he’s in Asia, he is often a day ahead, and I can’t ever remember what time it is. It’s makes 3 hours a piece of cake for us. :wink: But yes, I will be sad if our D stays in CA after college but with four kids, I know most likely we will not be living near all of them once they are all out on the own.

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Lol we are west coast fam with east coast student and as some have suggested above, Thanksgiving seems to be the most difficult flight expense. Ours was $600 for Ct to SF and kid spent most of his break with the GF. Next time they will pay for their own true love or he can stay back east with my relatives for the holiday :wink:

I think most of it depends on your kid. Are they likely to become home sick? Are they pretty independent?
Gonzaga is a wonderful school. Perhaps an east coast equivalent would be St Joe’s in Philly.
Good luck! Our kid has really enjoyed his “other coast experience” with the exception of slushy snow. The learning curve for footwear was high…but Gonzaga would provide some of that too!

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My West Coast kid is applying to many East Coast schools. I use a mileage credit card and run all my expenses through it. I am banking miles for the future. Just an idea.