<p>You might also want to consider “dry” campuses for your safeties, or schools that offer “substance-free dorms”.
I second the idea of women’s colleges, in larger metropolitan areas especially (Simmons, Mills, Agnes Scott…) since they tend to be less rowdy than other schools.
I think that a well-chosen smaller school (being picky about “fit”) is easier to handle than a very large school if one is not in the Honors Program. One big drawback for shy students at a large school is that they take longer to make friends and because everyone moves constantly, the nice kids you met at orientation may live accross campus and take zero class with you, so even if you wrote down their names and cell number it may be very difficult to arrange a meeting time say for lunch, and the large size of the school makes it harder to find them again. Same thing for large lecture halls, it’s much harder to speak up in front of 400 people than in the middle of 18 of them.
Look at the large universities’ honors program and see what benefits there are. It may be a way to distinguish between the different large schools that would be your safeties. Of particular importance for you if you are a little shy and not interested in getting wasted (and in the afferent vomit-soiled bathrooms), is the access to Honors Housing, be it Living-Learning communities or Honors Dorm(s)/Wing(s). Of course depending on the university the Honors Dorm may not be devoid of large, loud, drunken parties but it’d ensure those are kept to the weekends. Other criteria you may factor in when choosing your “large U safety”: Are there other benefits to the Honors Program (special Honors sections for the most common first year classes? cultural activities/trips? merit scholarships? special mentoring for national fellowships? study abroad program/stipend?..etc)</p>