<p>My high school freshman daughter is facing some decisions regarding her EC's. She did fall and winter sports which jived well enough with her other activities so that she didn't miss too many practices or meetings. She's now faced with a spring sport with a huge team where her playing time may be dependent on her attendance at practice. Due to budget cuts, there is no freshman or JV team so all 30 or so girls are on varsity, with a no-cut policy. She understands that it's likely she wouldn't get much playing time this year anyway as she is a freshman but she wants to get her foot in the door so to speak. The problem is her commitment to two special music performance groups at school. As these groups get closer to some scheduled shows in the spring, it will be difficult for her to miss practice for these, which are held once per week. </p>
<p>I'm curious to know how kids manage multiple demanding EC's? I see huge lists of time consuming activities in some of the chances posts and wonder how they do it. I keep reading that it's better to do less in number but be more deeply involved and take on leadership roles. Sports are a huge time commitment and I'm feeling like it might be time to sit a season out and not have her (and me) stress over time management so much. How do you and your kids manage things?</p>
<p>My D faced the same conflict between sports and music. She was at a very large HS where making the teams was difficult and she was not able to get much playing time. She decided she would rather do music than sit on the bench. I don't like the idea that HS sports are such a big deal. It seems that there should be opportunities for kids who are not great and just want to get exercise and have fun.</p>
<p>I started a thread on this, but it disappeared during the last CC server glitch thingie. It was called "when your child's EC's collide" or something like that. </p>
<p>My 12 year old has choir which conflicts with the school play (lead role), and it was seeming as if she would have to give up one of them. But the drama director decided to go ahead and work around her choir schedule (in case any of you remember the thread and were wondering about the outcome!) So it will be dicey, and she will have to miss a few choir rehearsals, and she is just lucky in this case that the director decided to let her do this. And my D knew that she might have to let one of the things go, and was going to let the play go or step down to a chorus part if she had to. </p>
<p>And she is also probably, by being involved in these two things, letting her spot in the summer league swimming championship meet go. Though that meet is not until the end of July, we already know that she is going to miss a fair amount of spring practice because of the choir and the play. But, she knows the consequences and has accepted them. She would rather do the theater and singing than swim in the championship meet. She's the kid who wants to do it all, but it is gradually sinking in that she can't. She has already let all the sports go except for swimming. The choir/drama conflict is hard though. The two things complement each other. Tough decisions coming up there . . . It is not always going to work out.</p>
<p>First, does she really enjoy her spring sport? If so, what is the current policy with the coach with regards to missing practices for other school ECs? What are the music director's policies for missing a musical rehearsal for a game?</p>
<p>Once you have figured out the policies and maybe spoken with other parents and/or other older students who are in the process or have done this before to gather info, your daughter would then speak with each of those in charge. Find out which ones are more flexible, find out game days, conference and regional dates, which practices will be mandatory and what are the consequences of missing x amount of days for each respective EC.</p>
<p>Again, communication. My 5 managed to do it but with much input from the coaches and others in charge, and staying very, very organized. It became difficult when DD did more than one sport in a season! But she stayed on top of it and it worked out fine. And she did it since freshman year as well.</p>
<p>Good luck, and I would find out what she wants to do before she talks to anybody.</p>
<p>Kat</p>
<p>I KNOW Susan can help out with this question!!!!!!</p>
<p>She said she was going to ask some older girls who she knows how they managed things last year with this coach. I think she's just feeling a bit intimidated by what the coach had to say about missing practice and how it would affect playing time. She played the sport at a rec level previously and enjoyed it but she's not passionate about it. She's just coming off of swimming which she really loved and did well with. I looked into a year round swim team club because I thought it might be better to do one sport and do it well, but the practice commitment and travel with that is very heavy and she isn't interested. More than anything, I think she enjoys the social experience of being on the team and the level of exercise she's forced to do.</p>
<p>Having a kid who has always been into sports and plays all 3 "seasons" in HS- I have accepted that a committment to the team usually means a FULL Committment. Now my d is able to do chorus too as it is a scheduled "class" during the regular school day and their may have been one or two conflicting practices- but if there is more than a minimal amount of conflict, your d is going to have to choose which activity means more to her. In my d's case most of her EC's were sports related as the time commitment limited her ability to partake in other school clubs. She became a soccer referee for PAL (a few hours on the week-end and didn't conflict with practice) and joined a Sports Leadership group to mentor younger kids in the district. Kids have to learn to pick their activities wisely based on their interests and don't over schedule too many activities. Juggling too many activities is only going to lead to unnecessary stress. And yes communication is great with the coaches, but there are too many coaches, music teachers etc. who will not look favorably upon the kid who doesn't show full committment to THEIR activity. It's sad- but true. If the school calendar allows it, it may be good to stick with the fall and winter sport and proceed with the music option in the spring. This will show a diversity in interests and still the commitment level as she is focusing on a few solid activities. I am a firm believer in the less is more approach. Sometimes I think the kid with the laundrylist of activities is just trying to impress the adcom. It's better to limit the amount of activities you get involved with- but show a higher level of commitment. Also as your d is into sports- if she gets to be a captain/co-captain on a team, that too shows leadership skills. And we KNOW the colleges love to see that. Good luck.</p>
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And yes communication is great with the coaches, but there are too many coaches, music teachers etc. who will not look favorably upon the kid who doesn't show full committment to THEIR activity. It's sad- but true.
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I might get to the same place but in a different way ... hopefully this coach will be understanding of your daughter's situation ... however the coach is also dealing with lots of other kids and the team overall ... and will have to weigh each of those views when deciding how to deal with your daughter's situation. If your daughter is cut some slack to miss practice's due to other EC commitments what should his response be to other teammates who are 100% committed to the team activity. There is not necessarily a right or wrong answer to this question but there certainly are multiple interested parties. Should game time go to anyone who has gone to enough practices to know the plays and knwo their teammates? Should 100% committed players be rewarded with more playing time? Will making an exception, even for good reason, have an effect on her/his relationship with the other players? Positive or negative? This is a tough one for your daughter, the coach, and her teammates.</p>
<p>S had to make a choice like this a few years back. He is a state wide officer with Key Club and also has in school and in community commitments for them. It has involved a definite 3 1/3 year (so far!)commitment to Tuesdays after school.
He was asked to try out for the schools football team and had to decline,since a varsity sport requires after school practice 5 days a week.No ifs, ands, or buts.
To him,Key Club came first. Another kid might make a different choice,or they might have more lenient coaches.
S solved his "want to be on a team" problem by finding a club sport (roller hockey) which plays Friday nights and Sundays and has only occasional practices.</p>
<p>If your daughter would like to stick with this sport a little longer to see if it is something she might be good at and want to pursue, she should be able to do that -- it's not her fault that the school doesn't offer frosh or jv teams. Even with 100% commitment, she might not play much anyway because of the number of athletes already in the program and her lowly stature as a freshman. So maybe she could explain her schedule conflict with the coach, and tell the coach that she'll miss some practices but when she is at practice, she'll give it 100%, work hard to improve, understanding that she probably won't get into many games. Maybe she could explain that she would like to participate this season because she enjoys the sport and would like to see what her potential is -- in other words, put off the "100% commitment" question for a season. After all, she's only a 9th grader. She could be the team's future MVP in a couple of years, or she may decide one season is enough. I think frosh should be able to experiment without being made to feel that they are "letting people down" or not "committed" enough, don't you?</p>
<p>My son faced the same decision about football. He's a sophomore and made the varsity team at the end of this season --- just in time for him to get a good taste of the time committment involved. At our school, varsity trains until 6 pm every night on school nights plus team meetings on Thursdays and pre-game prep on Saturdays. And, it's not just during the season --- training is a year round committment. With an hour plus drive to and from school, he quickly realized that he'd have to take a less intense academic schedule, give up his other interests which he cares about passionately, and miss out on a lot of social activities with his friends. The coaches at our school don't have any flexibility built into the schedule - you are either on the team and you do what is expected or you are off the team. Period. </p>
<p>He decided that, while he's enjoyed football and has done well, he doesn't have the love for it necessary to make that sort of committment. We support his decision, and are excited to see the new directions and EC's he's heading in since football ended. If, on the other hand he'd expressed an interest and determination to keep playing, we'd have supported him 100%. Since it is his life, we left the decision up to him.</p>
<p>MomofFour, some of those huge lists include many activities that require only nominal allotment of time.</p>
<p>For concurrent activities, it's hard for a student to do more than one "major" as I define it and one minor. My D's life was consumed by ballet; she also played in the high school orchestra with the attendant rehearsals and performances. Thank goodness the conflict were minimal. </p>
<p>I once had a ballet mom ask me, "But how can they do it all?" My answer was a very terse: "They can't."</p>
<p>Just a thought--My d's spring activity is track. For whatever reason, at least at my kid's school, there seems to be more flexibility than some of the other team sports. It could be that the coach is just more easy going or that track is more of an individual activity (as each kid has their own specialized event) and not as "team focused" as basketball or lacrosse. Therefore her absence will not effect the other kids. D's practice is usually no more than an hour after school and she really did have more time than when she plays soccer or basketball. I was always concerned with the "Spring activity" as there was more conflict with SAT's, Act's and Regents (in NY). So if your d's desire is for the social experience and exercise (which is good) maybe she can check out the track team because the flexibility may allow her to do both sports and music. Again, that might just be the experience at my kids school, but I just wanted to pass that thought onto you. My kid never did track until HS, but most athletes are pretty good at many different sports and adjust quickly.</p>
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...her playing time may be dependent on her attendance at practice...it's likely she wouldn't get much playing time this year anyway as she is a freshman...
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<p>Well, if she ends up missing a few practices for her music performances, it doesn't appear it will make much of a difference in her PT from what you're saying. So, why not get her foot in the door as your daughter suggested? Freshman year is a great time to gain exposure to a broad range activities of potential interest. That will help her narrow things down once she's dabbled a bit and decides where she wants to focus her time and energy.</p>