Need help here-my daughter applied to nine schools, four I would have considered reach schools based on historical data for GPA/SAT and she had a slim chance to get into. She applied to her “dream” school (one of the reach) ED, figuring since she had such a longshot, she may as well pick one to increase her chances through ED. She got accepted into the ED school but also got into a gap year program where she would be deferring her freshman year. She got the deferral from ED school but wanted to “just see” if she would get in any where else RD just because she was curious and because she was deferring, she didn’t think it would be an issue. Now she has gotten into three of the four reach schools she applied to and has had a change of heart about the ED school. I told her that she agreed to a binding decision when she applied ED and even with the deferral she can’t change her mind. The other school she really wants to go to is in the same area of her ED school and would probably cross reference if she tried to pull out her ED and defer at the other school. I don’t want her going to a school she doesn’t want to go to. The RD school gave her merit money but is much more expensive so it’s a wash with the cost of the ED school. Never in a million year would I have thought she would have thes choices. Her grades and SAT were on the low side of their average but she had over the top EC’s with some national recognition and I believe that is what out her over the edge. I anticipated schools putting more emphasis on matrix numbers.
Does anyone have experience with withdrawing from a ED without being blacklisted at a RD school?
If she was already committed to the ED school, she should not have applied to any schools in the first place this year, during her deferral.
I am sorry, but she is legally, ethically and morally bound to attend the ED school. She will survive and probably thrive once she gets there and plugs in. This is really no different from the kid who doesn’t get into any of his reach schools and ends up at his safety.
She had already applied to all the schools at the same time as her ED application. What she should have done was pull her applications from the RD schools once she heard she got into her ED school but she didn’t because she was waiting for her deferral approval. The difference between getting her deferral approval from her ED school and getting her RD notifications was any where from a few days to two weeks. It wasn’t a huge amount of lag time. The question really is if she has any recourse with her ED school if she wanted to change her mind (because 17/18 year olds DO change their mind) without being blacklisted or jeopardizing her admission at the RD school she now wants to go to.
@Massmomm I totally agree. And it was her “dream school” when she applied. I think she (and I as well) underestimated the strength of her application and didn’t anticipate her having these choices. As she is my first child going through this process I don’t think I impressed upon her the commitment she was making when she applied ED to a school.
You are asking people to affirm that it’s OK to withdraw her ED acceptance and take another acceptance that by honor she should have cancelled when she took her ED acceptance. ED is binding, maybe not legally, but morally, so sorry can’t go there, you all can live with whatever decisions and chances you make. I’m pretty sure the ED school will release her, colleges really don’t want kids that don’t want them.The deferral is inconsequential to the discussion.
She should be going to the ED school and certainly should not have applied without being completely sure that’s where she wanted to go. That’s the point of an ED application-it’s the CLEAR first choice school. I can’t believe that her high school guidance department will be thrilled with the prospect of her not honoring her ED acceptance. What does that mean for students from her high school who are in the younger grades who eventually apply to her ED school? Will they be denied acceptance because your daughter reneged on the ED agreement?
She’ll need to go on her gap year and then to her ED dream school. By spring of 2018, she’s likely to be over the other reach schools and happily planted at the ED school. If not, she can apply to transfer if finances permit (she won’t get the merit money as a transfer).
Seems like your D was dishonest and did something unethical and now wants to ratchet it up to the next level of unethical behavior and you came her hoping someone would give you permission to go ahead and do it. You do run the risk of the RD schools rescinding the offers. You say that 17 yr olds change their minds, but if she followed the rules in the first place she wouldn’t have the opportunity to do so.
I’d be really interested in hearing what your daughter’s college counselor thinks and recommends.
She should not have been allowed to apply to the RD schools in the first place. If you had followed the ED rules this wouldn’t even be an issue by now. And if she applied early on, she was morally bound to retract any outstanding applications. Sorry, I know kids can “change their minds,” but then they should not apply ED in the hope of boosting their chance of acceptance. She needs to turn down the other schools and go to her ED school.
You are asking if anyone here has behaved unethically in this manner and got caught? I’m going to guess that if some one has done so, they’re unlikely to admit to it publicly in this forum.
Also, did you (the parent) also not have to sign the ED contract?
She can drop both places, take the gap year, and reapply.
I can contribute the information that the parent did have to sign through the common app that he/she understood the ED commitment and would abide by it. The GC also has to sign; my son’s GC had him come in so that she could make sure he understood that he would be going to that school if accepted. He did get in and he withdrew his 3 EA applications, he never submitted the 12 RD applications that were ready to go, so he never heard from any other schools.
It’s hard to tell how much of an advantage there for an ED applicant; in DS’ case, the RD acceptance rate was 7%. We pored through all available data - ED acceptance information from the previous year, number of accepted athletes, etc., and our best estimate was that the ED acceptance rate for regular applications (not athletes, not legacies, not URM) was 12% (at most). Even if it was 10%, he wanted that extra boost.
This reflects horribly on your D’s and your integrity and will create problems for other students coming out of your snowflake’s high school. Are you fishing for permission from the CC community to go forward with your D’s plan? The only “help” you need IMO is assistance in how to live your life in an honorable way.
Her school should refuse to send her final transcript to any school but her ED school. They signed the ED agreement too. There is no dilemma. She committed to the ED school.
To answer your question directly, you won’t know whether the ED school will report the breaking of the ED agreement until and unless it happens. Since we don’t know the school, we can’t tell you if they report or not.
The only way they could report it to the RD school directly is if they know where she intends to enroll. They would only know if she told them. We can’t tell you how the RD school would react without knowing the RD school.
In general, consensus on this forum is not to renig on ED agreements, although some (not all) will concede it due to unforeseen financial difficulties.
OP - You know the right thing to do! Your daughter should enroll at the ED school. You’ve already told her that she made a commitment. Now, stop trying to help her find ways to get out of it or trying to justify why she did what she did.
Yes, she should have withdrawn those RD applications immediately, but that is water under the bridge now. However, her selfish curiosity in seeing if she “could” get in other places has resulted in her taking an offer away from another deserving kid at each one of those schools. She needs to turn down those other three RD offers immediately.
Where on earth did she get that idea? ED has very clear rules. Once you are accepted to the school, you are obligated to attend. Deferring your start date has nothing to do with that acceptance. ** You are directed to withdraw your outstanding applications at that point. **
So what’s the problem? You’ve stated the ED rules quite clearly and accurately and you’ve explained them to your daughter. Why isn’t that the end of the discussion?
She took a risk that she might have a change of heart when she chose to apply under a binding early decision program. No one forced her to do that. It’s a little late for you to worry that she’s stuck attending a school she doesn’t want to attend. You and she decided there was a strategic benefit to the ED application and it worked. She was admitted to her “dream school.” Then she took a dishonest step by allowing her regular apps to remain in play. I’m going to guess that she’s been accepted to a higher ranked school and is now chasing prestige. Correct me if I’m wrong. If I’m right, shame on you.
If she truly doesn’t want to attend, @happymomof1 summed it up for you. Decline acceptance at all schools and then apply all over again next year. I still think it’s a shameful and unethical thing to do but at least she’ll have to take responsibility for her actions.