Ok. Thanks.
This is why I encouraged my DD to apply ED…her favorite school was a good value without merit scholarship, and she hates making decisions, so I said just apply ED instead of having to choose later. She did, and she likes her school.
Did she apply to a gap year program or did she get put there or was it her request to do a gap year? What would she be doing? There isn’t a big downside as she would be starting with a freshman class and have the same opportunities for orientation and making friends. If she asked for the gap year then she should go to the ED school…that is the whole point. You get a better chance of acceptance and the college gets a better yield…you can’t take the advantage but then decide not to go.
When I talked to my S about ED, I mentioned this issue as a “con” in the process - we’ll never know what other great schools he might have gotten into. His response? He laughed and said “At least I can say I wasn’t rejected from X school”. LOL!
Yes, we’ll always be curious where else he might have been accepted, but we knew going in what we signed up for, and we “played by the rules”.
This is actually a pretty nice place, as message boards go. Some of us (me included) hang around here for years after our kids graduate simply because it is such a nice place.
But this is also a place where most of the regulars are very, very savvy about the college applications process.
We understand the ED rules, and we understand very clearly that your daughter is considering trying to break those rules, and that you are supporting her. She’s in the wrong here, and so are you. She has already done something wrong by not withdrawing her RD applications; that was against the rules, and it may have harmed her classmates.
We’re not saying this to be unkind or unsupportive. And we do realize that you and your daughter may not have fully understood how the system works at the time when she made the commitment of applying ED. But you understand it now.
I don’t agree with this (although plenty of people do). It didn’t have to be 100% her first choice. She just had to be 100% willing to attend if she was admitted – and she still has that obligation.
Parent of 2 kids who applied ED. They learned of their acceptances on a Friday afternoon, and on Monday they withdrew their outstanding apps (and received / saved email confirmation from those schools that the app was withdrawn, as we wanted to make sure ED school couldn’t accuse us of not playing by the rules). Sorry, the “see what happens with the others” is what you give up when you apply ED.
This curiosity to “see what happens” is the same thing that drives some parents to allow their kids to apply to colleges they know they can’t/won’t pay for even if the student is accepted. The parents should know better and not put their kids in a potential no-win situation.
My D applied ED to a top university only after thorough discussion about the binding contract. I remember being a bit surprised that it required myself, my D, and her guidance counselor to sign. Because we hadn’t visited the school there was some apprehension on our part but D said if there was any chance in hell they would let her in, she was going LOL. It was all about the prestige (and the financial aid package which would have made it the lowest price school on her list of 19) and she felt she couldn’t let the opportunity pass her by to go to such a prestigious school if she was admitted. I thank goodness every day she was rejected and I think she does too. Sometimes we, both parents and students, just aren’t thinking clearly in this process. FWIW, had she been accepted, she would have gone. It is a matter of integrity and character. She would have most likely transferred out back to our instate flagship though after that first year. Its like encouraging your kids to join a team and then letting them quit before the end of season, its just not okay.
The whole point of ED is to not having to “see what happens”. Every year you read about a few kids on the UofM forum who have an ED in hand but want to wait and see if they will get accepted to UofM and it always makes me cringe for the deferred kids just waiting and waiting. I’m not a fan of ED and moreso EDII which a few colleges apparently have implemented, but it works for kids who know where they want to go. PA and NY colleges and universities seems to be “big” on the concept of ED.Of course people change their minds, but the point is you don’t do ED unless you’re mind is made up.
I think the response to the OP has been overwhelmingly in favor of honoring the ED contract or withdrawing. Closing the thread now.