Trouble is, he is still clinging to the false beliefs that lead to this mistaken “crystal ball” prediction, and he’s subsequently been wrong over and over again. He’s become quite a celebrity, though, among anti-vaxxers and Covid-doubters. It’s a cottage industry.
But other than suggesting other readers look to more reliable sources of information, it too off-topic here so I’l leave it.
I like to come at these things with a different approach - one I’ve learned from the multiple refugee kids at our school. These are true refugees, often from war. They’ve seen family members killed and all possessions lost. They’ve had to come to a brand new country where some didn’t even know how to say “hello” in the language at first and were stuck right into English speaking classes. (I’m not saying that was a good decision. I’m saying it’s what they endured.)
But they were resilient. They were often behind a year or two from our kids, but they worked hard. They learned the language. They ended up fitting in joining sports and clubs and finding friends, often going to college, and now have graduated. At least one joined our military to pay back his gratitude. Others have opened businesses or become great employees.
Life can throw hard boulders at people from out of the blue. It doesn’t have to be refugee status. Some have dealt with cancer or other severe illnesses or really, really cwappy parents. I admire the kids who were able to take what they had to and made something of themselves anyway rather than join the multitude of those who didn’t. I’m sure there must be times when they’re sad or wonder why life singled them out, but they don’t show it often.
Being able to adjust and roll with the punches says a lot. I’d hire people like that any day over those who have to have things “their way” or life is “over.”
Encourage your son to see his experience as a chance to show he can roll with the punches - with likely endless stories he can tell his own kids and grandkids further down the road.
One of mine had to deal with “homeschooling” almost a year of med school! He’s still a great doctor now - his patients and those he works with love him. Not all is lost even if the experience is different. Enjoyment of life is what you make of it.
One other thought about schools going remote. It probably isn’t as much to protect the kids as it is their older professors and researchers (and staff) - the ones for whom getting Covid could be deadly. Their knowledge can’t always be replaced by younger people with less experience.
I hear what you’re saying. My kid still hasn’t recovered from the psychological trauma of the quarantine/pandemic. They may take a break from college to try and get well and/or transfer.
The college they go to way overdid their response, locked down, did all virtual, etc. Now, for this January, they are requiring boosters and are planning to be in person. Meanwhile, all the schools down here in Texas who were loosey-goosey at the start of the pandemic are going virtual, delaying start of school, etc. The point being… there are a lot of factors at play — prevalence of virus, political climate, etc. i wouldn’t worry just yet.
Thank you very much for you helpful perspective!
And a lot of people cling to their cognitive dissonance and won’t accept another point of view that also accounts for the mental health and well being of students. You can shoot the messenger but the message is worth consideration.
Thank you! This was a very helpful response.
Which is why I posted what I did. Kids need to hear stories of others who had life go awry and still turn out well.
Right now it seems there are two points of view that people are taking and the future will only go well if one way is followed (whichever one the individual believes is correct).
There’s a third way. Take what is happening - whatever that is - and do well in spite of it. If kids want to be out doing things, go out and volunteer for causes. Help others - tutoring, food banks, hospice, shopping for those who are unable, whatever appeals. There are more places to find friends, a purpose, and “belonging” than just classrooms.
Perhaps we can move on from debating Dr Makary’s PoV.
I think @Creekland is onto something and this is the kind of thing a therapist can help with.
We had one college student and one high school student who were both in remote schooling for 15 months. Sports seasons were canceled and later played in masks. Volunteer service trips and jobs and fraternity events were all canceled.
But just like when the kids were little and fell down, we tried very hard to keep our own reaction calm and reassure them that they can handle it, no need to panic or melt down: “That sucks, but you will be fine. You’re not alone. Lots of people are working through the same issues under the circumstances.” It’s when we try to control things outside our control that we drive ourselves crazy.
So we have been working hard to find all the silver linings to be grateful for during this stupid pandemic. It was a good thing not to have to commute and to have fewer sports practices when juggling challenging classes during the pandemic, for example. There was time to rack up community service hours and try some different extracurricular activities, etc.
I agree that colleges don’t make these decisions lightly to just value-signal or something— it is too detrimental to them economically. They are trying to pick the least bad option based on the info they have.
I also agree with @Lindagaf that there will always be something — maybe you find a school that is adamantly anti-remote schooling, but your child ends up with an awful roommate. Or breaks a leg and literally struggles to get to class with a heavy backpack. Or the school is forced to close because of hurricane damage and flooding. Whatever.
None of us can predict the future except to predict that it won’t be perfect. There will be problems and challenges at any and all colleges. You made the best decision you could with the info you had. You don’t know what the future policies will be. Let go of the unknowable and uncontrollable and focus instead on your strengths and proven ability to persevere and overcome, come what may.
Best wishes.
Yes, this, and also all of the staff who have to be on-campus, in-person to do their jobs. Custodial staff, dining hall workers, campus security, admin staff, library personnel, etc.
Thank you for your helpful perspective!
Thank you!
It is one thing to admire the resilience of those overcoming obstacles, and quite another to voluntarily place oneself in the path of those obstacles. We all agree resilience is necessary and should be encouraged, and that the future is impossible to predict so it is crucial to be flexible and adaptable to changing circumstances.
However, one should consider a college’s practices before enrolling, and ensure you are comfortable with them, at least initially. Practices vary widely and lead to disparate experiences.
Might have been true back in 2020 but is it now? These decisions are all coming after second semester tuition was due.
Thank you, especially for these references to other posts.
We did consider college COVID policies (including vaccination requirements, which we agree with) when my son made his list. He did not apply to schools in CA, even though we live in CA, because private and public schools in CA offered less in person instruction in 2020 and 2021 than almost every other state. So we thought we were being strategic, and this announcement from his chosen school has thrown me for a loop.
Colleges have to worry about future applicants, too. Pursuing policies that drive down enrollment or trigger litigation later is not the economically smart move. Not to mention immediate costs for testing, maintaining quarantine spaces, paying for classroom spaces and support services that are not used, etc.
While that is true, some colleges appear either sufficiently confident of their public funding or their endowment to not be overly concerned about the cost.
I think OP was wise to consider the past practices and be concerned about future ones.
In my area, parents tell me that high school last year (2021), both public and private, was basically the same as pre-covid times, except perhaps for masking in some schools. Otherwise, football games occurred, the school musical was on, the prom was held. Classes were in person, regular exams. I am not arguing whether that was the right decision or not, merely that it was a very different experience from the school my kids would have attended prior to our cross country move, which was all-virtual for the year. I expect some parents and students liked it and others did not, and some changed schools accordingly, in both directions of wanting more or fewer restrictions. Same with colleges.
OP is likely spending a lot of money and her student is spending a lot of time at any future college, so it is reasonable to consider whether one wishes to purchase that experience. I don’t see this issue as any different than any other factor of “fit” in determining whether a college is right for a student.
Perhaps but I don’t think there’s going to be a mass exodus from elite schools because of their COVID protocols if application numbers are any indication.