<p>It's a little bit long right now (~770 words) so I plan on shortening it to about 700 words by my next draft. Also, I plan on using this essay for the common app, but a shorter version. And maybe for one of the QB essays if I can make it in time.</p>
<p>Some of my main concerns:</p>
<ul>
<li>too boring? tell me if it captured your attention in the beginning and kept it throughout the essay</li>
<li>too cliche/corny, especially towards the end</li>
<li>if you figure out some ways to cut it down, then tell me</li>
<li>too predictable?</li>
<li>any other general or specific way to improve it, tell me.</li>
</ul>
<p>tell me if you want to critique, not just read it</p>
<p>I also would like to have someone read/critique one of my essays. Its only about 400 words (max 500), and I need to add more imagery here and there. Let me know if you would like to read it.</p>
<p>Sure I'll read it too ... just PM me ... however, in return you must also critique my common app long essay ... I also need help cutting it down to 500 words! I promise to help cut it down and critique your essay ... I hate it when I PM people my essay and they do nothing with it except to say, "It's pretty solid." Of course it's solid -- it's made out of words.</p>