<p>I'm referring to the Common App supplement essays. If you're interested, please leave your email address (or I can PM you). I'm really looking for harsh, but constructive comments (and fast reply... deadline is looming in the near distance after all). One is 240 and another is 288 words in length, so it won't take too long. Thanks!</p>
<p>sure i can edit...</p>
<p><a href="mailto:twodollabeer@yahoo.com">twodollabeer@yahoo.com</a></p>
<p>I'll take a look, just pm me.</p>
<p>I can if ya still need it, got some time so I should be able to get it back to you tonight if ya need...</p>
<p>I would love to take a look at it.
My email is <a href="mailto:xyz2004slc@hotmail.com">xyz2004slc@hotmail.com</a></p>
<p>sure, e-mail it to <a href="mailto:me...Yankchic99@aol.com">me...Yankchic99@aol.com</a></p>
<p>thanks! I've already sent it to some of you and received some really helpful replies :) I'm going to edit it and send it to the rest of you who haven't received an email from me asap!</p>
<p><a href="mailto:JJPeerless@hotmail.com">JJPeerless@hotmail.com</a></p>
<p>i wouldnt mind reading for you</p>
<p>i'll take a look if you want
<a href="mailto:hockeygenius17@comcast.net">hockeygenius17@comcast.net</a></p>
<p>sent out the second round :) Thanks to everyone who offered!
(ps - some of you, I am still saving for round #3, hopefully the final round)</p>
<p>I have just become a new member and I was hoping if you can please edit my essay for college, English is not my first language but my 3rd one, you can go hard one it will only make me work harder, so please can you edit it, I would really appreciated if you can.</p>
<pre><code> A significant moment in my life occurred about six years ago, when I left my country Bolivia and came to the United States, to have a successful life. I had left the family that I knew, my home, my friends, and my language in order to experience a foreign culture and broaden the scope of my education and view of life. For the first time I had meet my real family, a family with very strict rules, where work ethic, education, and values and especially respect took first priority. Upon my arrival, to the United States, I initially struggled with English, but in two years, I progressed from the ESL level and joined regular English classes. I gained confidence in my English, especially in my written work, where I obtain an award for Most Promising Student. During my High School years I began challenging myself a lot, being the only Hispanic to have taken AP Government, AP Biology, AP Spanish and have taken at least five Honors Courses before my senior year. My education in the United States and in Bolivia has allowed me to find many aspects of my self, my two cultures and my three languages (English, Spanish and Quechua (Native Language)). Being raised in an indigenous environment and then living in a very sophisticated environment has giving me a quality that not many teenagers have; being thankful for all the opportunities that you are giving. With my travel experience and being espoused to two different cultures, it has giving me an awareness/appreciation of how fortunate I am to have a chance of a good education. Anyone who has crossed the globe to visit or live in a foreign country has without a doubt some amount of culture shock, and it is both jarring and exhilarating to find yourself changing and adapting to such a new environment. My new location has brought an awareness that I dont think ever would have appeared if I had stayed in Bolivia. As a coming college student my goal is simple: intellectual enrichment and the use of my knowledge to help those in need of a helping hand. My life experiences has giving me a level of strength and it has also helped me to appreciate the value of this goal, and I look forward in reaching it in University of Mary Washington. I want to become a more solid and aware citizen through exposure to other viewpoints and cultures, and by offering my own. I will mix with new perspectives; I will alloy with my fellow students, with my professors, where I can hopefully become stronger academically, socially, and culturally. I also feel that my past exhibits the characteristics where I am able to become successful academically and in life. In my High School, I participated in many varsity sports and was head of some of the groups. I also played soccer and chess competitively, and played racquetball. Through these experiences, I have gained the necessary leadership skills and exhibited indefatigable responsibility to ensure a successful experience at University of Mary Washington. I believe that my struggles, perseverance, and triumph through not only high school but in life have qualified me as a good candidate to attend University of Mary Washington. I am also particularly drawn to University of Mary Washington for a number of reasons. I want to stay in Virginia, near my guardian and attend the same University as my two sisters. University of Mary Washington has all the opportunities I am looking for in continuing my education, developing my identity, and contributing culturally and academically. I hope with the words in this essay I have enough power to communicate my desire and readiness to attend University of Mary Washington.
thank you so much for your time!!!!!
gustavotf10@hotmail.com
</code></pre>
<p>I'll edit it too.</p>
<p>gtfmaster: Make sure you change the school name to Cornell!!!!!</p>
<p>omg, that would be hilarious if he didn't</p>
<p>Don't post your essays online. Bad idea. and for the record, im not bored enough to edit essays yet. :D</p>
<p>gtfmaster: u really posted an essay online!!!! bad idea!!!! it would have been better to just have mailed it to some of ur close chums... heard of a rampant phenomenon called plagiarism</p>
<p>I doubt anyone would want to plaugerize that essay.</p>
<p>why wouldnt someone want to copy my essay?</p>
<p>Well for one thing: you're not Hispanic. You're Latino, or Bolivian, whichever you prefer. Hispanic refers to the region Hispaniola in the Caribbean. I'm Puerto Rican, and therefore, Hispanic. I'm also Latino, and Puerto Rican. Further, I'm a white Hispanic/Latino/Puerto Rican if you really want to get complicated.</p>
<p>gtfmaster...i don't know of TOO many people applying to the university of mary washington...so your essay isn't that useful to plagerists. Also you have a pretty unique story. However the most important reason for someone not to plagerize your essay is that it needs some fairly serious revising. It's not the structure, argument, or content that are lacking. It's the english. Get a couple native english speaking adults to proofread it and edit it. This will help to make it flow much better, in ways that you, who are not a native speaker, will not pick up on for many years.</p>
<p>btw, it's really cool that you speak quechua. My spanish professor first semester in SPANR 123 also teaches quechua (he's from bolivia) and was a cool dude, and it's a cool language. He does, however maintain that the capital of boliva is sucre and not la paz...can you please clarify. Because he's going against every book and teacher i've ever known... :D something abuot the political capital versus the true capital. i dunno.</p>