<p>Things are not always fair, and people are not always honest. Sure, I know people who are better off that we are (own 2 homes, own a successful business, lots of disposable income, etc) and still managed to get nearly zero EFC’s and grants! Of course that’s not right. I understand that your anger is not from selfishness but comes from a sense of indignance. But lonesplendor, lying and cheating degrade those who participate. You can be proud that your parents worked so hard and respectably. You will rise above this mess. What goes around comes around.</p>
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<p>Would you want to trade places with your “low income friends” who haven’t had the same opportunities your family has been able to provide for you while growing up?</p>
<p>And P.S. If you live in NYC…almost ALL the apartments have roaches…it’s the city for heaven’s sake. We know folks in VERY expensive coops who have roaches. They exterminate like almost everyone else in NYC. </p>
<p>Please…try to look at the things you are fortunate to have.</p>
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<p>I don’t understand this…you have a full ride to Stony Brook, which is a very good school, and can’t go? Did you apply to any of the smaller SUNY’s like Geneseo? Or are you grieving over the other schools that are too expensive? If so, I’d say have a private moment of sorrow, then pick yourself up and pat yourself on the back for getting into a well known public that many people would love to attend! You sound like a mature, articulate, caring kid and I’m guessing you’ll fit in and bloom where you’re planted. The point is, to be a successful adult you have to make the most of the opportunities you are given and forget about comparing your situation to others. Every life has unique challenges and opportunities but you’ll often find that keeping an open mind and a positive attitude will make all the difference. </p>
<p>Like you, last year my D had the good fortune to be accepted everywhere she applied. The financial aid results ran the gamut of great to out of the question. We narrowed it down to 3, including SUNY Buffalo who offered to meet our need. She chose not to go into debt but was convinced that UB was too big for her, even though their programs clearly had more depth than some of the smaller schools. She was very unhappy for the first two months but was willing to give it a try and now, as a second semester freshman, would not consider transferring! She’s made so many friends from a variety of backgrounds and really enjoys being at a large school, with all the diversity and opportunities that brings (well, except for the smell of some of the ethnic foods being prepared in her dorm!). She has friends at private LAC’s who already regret going into debt for their “dream school” experience and others who started at a SUNY and plan to transfer to a more prestigious school as juniors. They’ve all come to the realization that you can change your mind, your major, and certainly your college!</p>
<p>OP,
Do your parents have any savings at all to apply to your tuition? If they have $30K saved, and you take the $30K unsubsidized Stafford loan and work to earn $2,500/year, that leaves your parents with $50K to pay out of current income and loans. Can they afford $12,500 out of current income? If so, they don’t even need to take out loans.</p>
<p>Thumper, I’m extremely grateful for what I have. I’m trying to be really mature about this, and I have never ONCE said how unlucky I am - just that I’m disappointed and I feel that it is unfair - not the end of the world, NOT the most unjust thing in the world, but unfair. I’m sure that you’ve really wanted something that you couldn’t have, and felt bad about it - that’s all this is. I’m really not whining about how unlucky I am, at all.</p>
<p>Sk8rmom, you’re right - Stony is a great place. It wasn’t my dream school, but I think I can adapt. Again, I KNOW I’m very lucky to have this opportunity. I think I will do well there - they have great resources available, and plus, with a free ride, I’ll get more allowance! Haha.</p>
<p>Bay, my parents said they can pay $15,000 a year, and I’ll have to take the other $15,000 on a loan if I want to go to another college.</p>
<p>Don’t you have 2 full rides? What is the other school?</p>
<p>If you have a full ride, it’s not reasonable to expect your parents to somehow come up with $10-15k per year and for you to borrow large amounts each year.</p>
<p>It’s just not worth it. </p>
<p>What is the other school that you have a full ride?</p>
<p>Lonesplendor: I’d be deeply disappointed too. It is sad – you clearly worked hard to get the offers of admission you wanted, and financially it isn’t going to work. Grab some chocolate, rent a tearjerker of a movie, and take a little time to feel sorry for yourself. You have reason.</p>
<p>And then it is time to start a new day and focus on the opportunities at Stony Brook, and how you’re going to make that environment tremendously successful. Lots of research shows that students who were admitted to top universities but who chose to go to less highly ranked schools still do amazingly well in life, and I am sure you can be one of them. Since you have a full ride, perhaps your parents will be able to fund some summer travel or study abroad options which would be completely out of the question with a high tuition burden. You’ll be able to look at unpaid internships and research opportunities that others may need to pass by because they’ve got to work to earn money towards school. Look at some of the threads from low income students who’ve been admitted to schools that somehow expect them to come up with $25,000 a year despite having a $0 EFC. Bloom where you’re planted, and choose to be happy.</p>
<p>Yes, OP, it was out of line to suggest that it’s unfair for some to make more than others–paying everyone the same would be grossly unfair. But you also need to understand that there’s not enough money to come close to paying for the federal budget at any point in the forseeable future, so they decided to give the financial aid to those scraping by in the low cost-of-living areas. To paraphrase Yurtle, welcome to socialism.</p>
<p>OP, I feel for you. We can’t afford to send our S to one of the expensive private schools he’d like to attend. Fortunately, we realized this was likely, and said up front if he didn’t qualify for X amount of merit aid, it wasn’t doable. And showed him that his stats made it unlikely to get that merit.</p>
<p>So S is now enthusiastically enrolled in our state’s flagship school. I know he’s probably a little disappointed, but he had plenty of time to adjust to the idea. </p>
<p>Just search for some of the threads with horror stories of kids being burdened with astronomical debt to go to their ‘dream’ school. You’ll thank your lucky stars for a having a better option.</p>
<p>And you are entitled to your feelings. I think that it’s presumptuous of people to post here and tell you how you should feel. You have the right to grieve the loss of your dream. And I’m sure once you’ve processed this, you’ll move on to one of your other options and do great - good luck!</p>
<p>Thanks for the support, everyone! (I’m not saying this sarcastically, I really mean it!)</p>
<p>Oh, and just to clarify - for the last time - I totally understand that this is just how the world works, that its not practical or reasonable to expect otherwise, and that there are wayyy worse things going on right now. I just needed to rant! This is all this was, and I know for a fact that you’ve ranted at some point, too!</p>
<p>Anyways, thanks again for the help. I know I’m truly lucky and I’m adjusting the dream! Plus, I may have actually lucked out - one of my schools is only expecting me to pay $20k. I’m going to see if this can be reduced further, if not, I have wonderful and free options to choose from.</p>
<p>I just needed a day or two to get over the shock and see the silver lining!</p>
<p>Lonesplendor…please let us know your final choice. It’s OK to rant…glad you have some good options and another door may possibly be opening for you. Sometimes the silver lining is covered with clouds…glad those are blowing away a bit for you.</p>
<p>I’m a little confused now. I have three schools to choose from, two full rides and one school where I’d have to pay about $21,000, not including a $2,000 loan the school is offering as part of the package. My parents said they’re willing to pay up to $15,000 - but even that will be done with great difficulty, and I’ll have to take the rest out on loan. So that’s about $9,000 in loans each year including tremendous guilt for the trouble I’m causing my parents and cutting back considerably on other expenses. They have made it clear that if I go to the school where they have to pay, I have to act even more responsibly (aka study ALL the time and have no fun).</p>
<p>On one hand, many of my teachers are telling me to go for the school that I want, and that its expected for students to have loans.</p>
<p>On the other hand, it seems really stupid to have three full rides (two of which I’m seriously considering) and choose to pay instead.</p>
<p>I would appreciate your insight on this. If you would like more details (such as which schools), please let me know…I’ll send you a PM; I don’t want to post it publicly. </p>
<p>I’m really not sure what to do and my parents are stumped as well, so again, any help would be wonderful!</p>
<p>What schools are the “free rides”???</p>
<p>My parents said they’re willing to pay up to $15,000 - but even that will be done with great difficulty, and I’ll have to take the rest out on loan. So that’s about $9,000 in loans each year including tremendous guilt for the trouble I’m causing my parents and cutting back considerably on other expenses. They have made it clear that if I go to the school where they have to pay, I have to act even more responsibly (aka study ALL the time and have no fun).</p>
<p>1) If it’s going to be that difficult for your parents, then it’s doubtful that they’ll be able to follow thru for all 4 years. Coming up with $60,000 over 4 years is hard for most parents to do. If your parents aren’t great savers and super thrifty people, they may fail at coming up with the money. </p>
<p>2) If they’re having to cut back a lot, and they see you off having fun (and maybe not getting perfect grades) they will likely refuse to continue paying. At that point, you’ll be screwed because you won’t be able to go back and get one of those free rides. Those generous scholarships are ONLY for incoming freshmen. I would not want to spend my college years listening to my parents complain about how they’re 'going without," and therefore I shouldn’t be having any fun or going on Spring break or ski weekends with friends. </p>
<p>On one hand, many of my teachers are telling me to go for the school that I want, and that its expected for students to have loans.</p>
<p>Who cares what they are saying…they’re not going to have to pay back these loans. Their lives are not going to be negatively affected by YOUR loans. Even if they had loans when they graduated, they probably were much, much smaller and for lower rates.</p>
<p>There have been enough articles on the impact of loans. A lot depends on what major you want to persue and what career opportunities you are looking for. Do a simple calculation: What income do you think you will get for a starting person in your career. You can find this information on the web. Then calculate what your monthly payment is for the loan (there are calculators on the web that will allow you to find out what the monthly payments are or if you post the expected loan on this post, someone can tell you the monthly payment). Find out what percentage of your starting income will go towards loans.</p>
<p>For example, let us say your loan is $50,000 and is due over 10 years at 7%. This works out to about $581 per month or almost $7000 a year. If you expect to be making about $35000 a year, you will be spending about 20% of your income on student loans, which is very high. If you expect to make $70000 a year, it is about 10%, which is still high. I think you get the point, look at how long it will take you to pay of your loans. That might change your whole view. My recommendation is minimum loans.</p>
<p>Im sorry, but if you received two full scholarship offers and you still dont want to attend those schools, why did you even bother to apply to them? A safety school should be an institution that a student would still be glad to attend if their preferred schools dont work out.</p>
<p>Keep in mind, also, that $9,000 in loans each year is actually more than $12,000 once interest in factored in (assuming you use the full 10 years to pay the loan off).</p>
<p>JayDee, I like both schools. Its just that I was accepted to some of my dream schools, so I wish I could go there instead.</p>
<p>I will be fine attending those schools if my preferred ones don’t work out…and what I’m trying to do right now is decide whether or not it will work out.</p>
<p>lonesplendor – you don’t sound spoiled and whiny at all. This is the best articulation I have seen yet on CC about how middle class families who also live in an area with a high cost of living have an EFC that is quite simply unaffordable. I believe everything is the way you said, that your parents work very hard and earn what sounds like a lot of money but money is still tight.</p>
<p>Your parents are offering to pay $15,000 per year. That is very generous of them and they are obviously very committed to getting you the best education they can. The picture I’m getting is that they already work as hard as they can and money has always been tight. They might have offered to do more than they really can.</p>
<p>The decision is yours and theirs of course, but it sounds like your family would really benefit if you accepted one of your less expensive options. You don’t have to decide right away. With financing a college education I found it worked best to let things simmer on the back burner of my mind and let the best course of action work its way to the surface.</p>
<p>From Yurtle</p>
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<p>You obviously haven’t met my in laws.</p>
<p>I’m glad you’re asking the questions and trying to make a selection with your eyes open. That being said, I think Mom2CK is right in post #33.</p>
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<p>I would say…you applied to (according to the above) three schools that gave you full rides. I think you should carefully consider these options. Leaving undergrad school with no debt is a huge gift. It opens up options that you might not otherwise be able to consider.</p>
<p>Your parents are generous in their offer to pay $15,000 but you still would have to come up with additional money at that dream school as the $15K plus the financial aid they gave you does not cover the cost of attendance. It sounds like this would entail additional loans that either your family or you (with a cosigner) would need to assume.</p>
<p>If you are able to pay for that dream school without worry, that is one thing. BUT if this is going to be an annual source of concern (remember…need based aid is calculated every year…and if your finances change so could your aid…and if your schools don’t meet full need, there is no guarantee that next year’s aid will be what you get this year)…you might want to think again about this as a choice.</p>
<p>I’m the same place. It really sucks, like really. I worked SO HARD to get into the schools that I’ve gotten into and now I can’t even afford to go. My EFC is high but we don’t have that much money. Almost half of it goes to taxes and I have a younger brother. We can’t do it. I completely agree. It’s not fair. I have no idea what to do about the situation, so I can’t give advice. But I just wanted to let you know that you’re not alone.</p>