Seems like the parent wanted to brag to her friends about how her kid now has a highly paid or prestigious job after prestigious college, but the kid has other professional pathways in mind that fall closer to the “educational idealism” that is commonly expressed on these forums (see the thread on “liberal arts universities”) and may be going against the trend of prestigious college students being attracted to the investment banking and management consulting pathways.
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Honestly, I don’t think it was about bragging. (There are people for whom this might be true, but not this one.) I genuinely think she felt that the student might be squandering an opportunity.
And fwiw, the student followed his heart and my friend is very proud. But I don’t think the initial reaction would have been what it was had they attended the state flagship.
Or maybe the parents stressed themselves financially to pay for college and thought they were “investing” in their kid with the expectation that the next generation of their family would be better off than themselves?
We’ve had plenty of debates over the years about whether people would (or should) pay a lot of money for their kids to study something that almost certainly doesn’t pay well like dance or music.
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If he wants to teach elementary school, what opportunity would he be squandering?
As mentioned, this is the path ultimately pursued - and all are happy.
They could have considered any number of alternatives that prefer to hire from elite schools. Not this one’s cup of tea but a tea that’s also available to only a select group. Many feel that being offered a rare opportunity means they would be fools not to take it. Kinda like being offered a Rhodes and not taking it…
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But the Rhodes scholarship is a full ride with monetary value in of itself in addition to the prestige. A closer equivalent to turning down a Rhodes would be turning down a famous full ride (eg Jefferson scholarship) to pay for an Ivy. But that happens quite often.
And conversely, quite a few Rhodes scholars never use it to make money (eg there are winners from the armed forces every year). How is school teacher any worse a choice than other low paid jobs like museum curator, academic, musician or dancer, which plenty of people choose after Ivy degrees? Some (horror of horrors!) get married, give up work and have kids…which doesn’t even require a college degree…
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I want to be clear – I think this kid did the right thing.
But the OP had asked how being in this environment changes expectations, and this is one of the ways.
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I just hope my kids end up being happy in life with whatever they do. I am fine with them doing whatever as long as they can support themselves.
We have always tried to keep our kids grounded in terms of money and material possessions. If my kids asked me to buy something I would tell them I would go 50/50 with them on it.
There definitely kids at college that have no spending limits or just access to so much more. Luckily she has surrounded herself with good mix of people. Life can always be about balance.
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