<p>Dstark--I think you're being unnecessarily hard on Marite. You made a big difference over her S picking Harvard over Harvey Mudd, that that was an elitest decision because no one's heard of HM. Well, both Marite's and I older kids went to Wesleyan, also not heard of outside of the halls of CC. (Beleive me, none of my friends and neighbors knew anything about it.) And I can say with sureness that both Marite and I feel the same pride in our older ones accomplishments as our younger ones, glow and all. For all of them, they landed among peers at places which will challenge them--and that's cool. Do I enjoy saying my S is at Columbia? Sure, I'm proud--it was a tough thing to do. Is he there so we can feel "elite"? Unequivocably, no, and if you don't believe that, all I can say is, that's sad. Enjoy your cynicism. If I remember right, your kid is at my alma mater, and I salute that. It's another school that should provoke the same glow of pride.</p>
<p>Garland:</p>
<p>That's okay. I enjoy the good-natured sparring with Dstark. You are right that I am just as proud of S1 as of S2. Wes was a far better fit for him than HYP (he did not apply to any of them). if either of them had been interested in philosophy, I would have steered him in the direction of Reed. That's one college that few people on the East Coast have heard of.</p>
<p>Garland, I had a elite backlash experience just the other day. An Asian acquaintance was glowing over her son's acceptance to UMich, which as you know is my alma mater too. When I told her I was an alum but my son went to Williams, after the blank look, she said "Oh, you must be so disappointed!" :)</p>
<p>Okay, I didn't plan on sharing this, but I will...it has to do with what my son said during the college search. He felt that upon visiting Harvard, he scrutinized it more than any of the other schools, because he wanted to make sure that it really was a good fit and he didn't want to be bowled over by reputation. I don't know whether its possible to put that aside, but he feels he absolutely did. What's interesting was that he found the kids he met there to be less pretentious and more low key than at several other ivys that he visited. In fact, that's one of the things that he would say sold him on the school. When he was thinking through how to convey this particular impression in an interview, he envisioned saying "Harvard is elite without being elitist" ---really, I am not kidding! Anyway, many, I'm sure, would have a different opinion, but that is how he felt.</p>
<p>The ****** doth protest too much, methinks. </p>
<hr>
<hr>
<p>Definition of "elite":
" A group or class of persons or a member of such a group or class, enjoying superior intellectual, social, or economic status."
<a href="http://www.thefreedictionary.com/elite%5B/url%5D">http://www.thefreedictionary.com/elite</a></p>
<p>"Garland, I had a elite backlash experience just the other day. An Asian acquaintance was glowing over her son's acceptance to UMich, which as you know is my alma mater too. When I told her I was an alum but my son went to Williams, after the blank look, she said "Oh, you must be so disappointed!""</p>
<p>Back around six years ago, it was so refreshing after almost 30 years to have a boss who at least thought she knew where I'd done my undergraduate work, though she was sure it was in Virginia. ;) I've had maybe a couple of dozen people who seemed to have heard "Whitman" when I said "Williams", and I try not to disabuse them, because "Whitman" out here has a very good reputation.</p>
<p>Garland, it's all in good fun.</p>
<p>I know a guy who went to Wesleyan and now his daughter goes to Weslelyan. He thinks Wesleyan is one of the elit__. For the money I am paying, I hope Michigan is one of the elite schools.</p>
<p>dmd77, BMWs are good cars. Elite things can be of high quality. :)</p>
<p>Epiphany, nobody should have to apologize for sending a kid to an elite school. But I am amazed by so many people on this board that are denying that "elitism" was a factor. And some of the denials are strokes of elitism. When you say, my kid needs peers of her intellectual ability, that smacks of elitism. </p>
<p>If you told people in person, my kid should go to school with people whose intelligence is in the top 2% so she can be with like-minded peers, doesn't that smack of elitism?</p>
<p>The people I know in real life don't have a problem stating they want their kids to go to an elite place, that they think their kids are special. Even if they don't think their kids are special, they still want their kids to go to an elite place. Maybe some of that eliteness will be contagious. :)</p>
<p>I thought I was the only anti-elite person out there. There sure are a lot of people that send their kids to the top schools in the country that are anti-elite. :)</p>
<p>Mini, you are one of the covert elite :). </p>
<p>Calmom-- at first I thought you were defining elite as something available only to a few, a select group. Now ya gotta go and throw the word "superior" in there? Does one enjoy a superior intellectual status based on where they go/went to school? I sure as heck don't lay any claim to any superior intellectual status, LOL . . . Who does? Yuckie poo.</p>
<p>I am an elitist and so is my son. However, for something to deserve elite status in my mind, it has to live up to its reputation. I don't tend to like things ONLY because they are elite, but I do seem to be attracted to "thinks elite".<br>
I really like big state univesities along with some of the elite schools. I am having trouble understanding why I would be just as happy to put that Georgia or Indiana sticker on the back of the car as the one stating ELITE!<br>
My son goes to a boarding school, but it is not one that is considered elite. It is a very good one, though. He is not at that boarding school because we wanted something "elite". He is at that school because it was the best educational option for him- he had run through a few other options. We and he are so happy with it and never once wished for something more elite.
I guess elitism isn't a chronic condition, but can flare up now and then.</p>
<p>"Mini, you are one of the covert elite ."</p>
<p>I am so elite I thumb my nose down at the rest of the world's mere mortals. (and I do it at a fraction of the cost.) ;)</p>
<p>MomofWildChild, maybe this is why...
<a href="http://sportsillustrated.cnn.com/2003/sioncampus/09/10/top_ten0916/index.html%5B/url%5D">http://sportsillustrated.cnn.com/2003/sioncampus/09/10/top_ten0916/index.html</a></p>
<p>Well, mini, we certainly didn't score on the college financial deal the way you did, but I found a way to score on opera tickets recently, and was rather pleased with myself--I didn't know before that with a student ID, rush tickets to the SF Opera are only $15.00. I gotta admit, getting in on an elite activity for that price is a "rush". We got 4 tickets for$60 with my two D's I.D.'s The older D looks at the seats they gave us and then at the regular undiscounted price for those seats and goes, "we saved $500!" LOL. I WISH I were in a position to pay $600 to go see the opera . . . (maybe if we weren't spending all those $$ on college tuition :) )</p>
<p>dstark, you need to refer to Donemom's second-to-last post in order to reinforce the distinctions that she, I, some others have made. Denotation vs. connotation, straight "dictionary definition" disingenuously cited in calmom's recent post -- vs. the charged language she previously introduced.</p>
<p>I'm not trying to pick a fight with you, & I appreciate the intent behind the smilies & all, but do you see how your own language is loaded, too? ("Smacks" of elitism -- twice)</p>
<p>In answer to the question posed in your 2nd paragraph, the short answer is No. I do not think so.</p>
<p>And btw, I am hardly the only parent on the board that asserts that intellectual peers are important to the college experience -- including those parents who are concerned that their children might be aiming too high, or might simply be uncomfortable around so many nerds at nerdy college X! </p>
<p>Peers. That is an unloaded word. Not an assertion of genius, nor an assertion of "specialness" (your word, dstark), but based on her 12+ previous years of preferences. There must be lots of people like her: I wouldn't dare to guess percentages. Where did I say "top 2%"? In fact, I did not use, I think, the word "intelligence." Intellectual peers, not IQ peers. This, btw, is often offered by UChicago aspirees as their reason for choosing Chicago: i.e., not that they consider themselves "superior" or "elite," but that they choose to be with students whose priority is academics.</p>
<p>Similarly, I want D#2 to be in a college with her peers -- i.e. for her, NOT in a college overwhelmingly intellectual in its emphasis, but more creative in its emphasis. This does not imply that she is inferior to her sister, or less bright, less special, etc. My statements do not have the implications you assign to them.</p>
<p>"but I found a way to score on opera tickets recently, and was rather pleased with myself--I didn't know before that with a student ID, rush tickets to the SF Opera are only $15.00. I gotta admit, getting in on an elite activity for that price is a "rush".</p>
<p>Hey, I'm speaking in your neck of the woods for three days at the end of February. Think we can score again? I've got a student ID - we just founded another community orchestra, which we've affiliated with the local community college. (The only way I can afford to go to the opera these days is to actually be in one! not complaining, though - it's a kick! ;)</p>
<p>Epiphany, I'm sure my language was loaded. I really don't want to get into an argument about semantics and word definitions.</p>
<p>You are absolutely not the only parent on the board that asserts that intellectual peers are important to the college experience.</p>
<p>I'm sure Chicago does feel they are an elite university.</p>
<p>I don't really buy the distinctions, but it doesn't really matter.</p>
<p>Does anyone else feel just a little embarrassed about admitting that their child attends an "elite" school when people ask? I really don't offer the info unless the other party asks directly. I find myself focusing on the luck factor, and how much we liked his wide selection of other schools. I also find myself trying to make reference to something positive I may have seen in the media about the other person's school. And I don't think I'm "anti-elite." I just don't want anyone else to feel that their child did not achieve as highly. And I do think the important thing is to find a good peer group -- there are other schools, with comparable stats, where I know my son would not have been happy.</p>
<p>No. She worked really hard to get to that level and we are working hard to pay for it.</p>
<p>SJMom: I've been embarassed to admit that my son is at MIT when I know the child of the person I'm talking to didn't get in there. </p>
<p>Many years ago, I was hanging out at the beach in Santa Monica with some girls I'd met at my boyfriend's apartment (they lived in the next apartment). They asked where I went to college. "MIT" "What's that?" "Massachusetts Institute of Technology" "Why'd you go all the way to Massachusetts when you could have gone to Santa Monica JC? Didn't you get in?"</p>
<p>dmd77 -- that's funny! We had relatives (Phd in a science)from Europe who visited Boston last year. They didn't seem very familiar with MIT, which I found surprising. I've also been surprised that people on this coast aren't familiar with Caltech. Maybe it's just that I live with 3 math/science males -- I'm probably not as familiar with some of the smaller LACs. In fact, I'd only heard about Williams and Middlebury about 7-8 years ago when living in the midwest. Having grown up in CA, the only schools which were commonly known seemed to be Stanford, Claremont, the UCs, Cal States and HYP.</p>