<p>We don’t really have an empty nest (older daughter is back home, taking classes locally). But I did have a hard time when my son left for Boston. It does get easier though. I no longer think “he’s home” when the furnace turns on, sounding a bit like the garage door. </p>
<p>When we said good-bye at the end of Parent Weekend I didn’t cry nearly as much as when he left CO. But it was enough to get an unexpected but appreciated nice hug ;)</p>
<p>Initially I missed S walking up the stairs every night; he would stop and chat about his day for a bit.</p>
<p>Not really an empty nest since we have 2 younger D’s, but my mother also moved out, she had to go into long term care. So in a way that was an even bigger adjustment, since she lived with us for nine years.</p>
<p>S did not communicate much at first, but we’ve been messaging fairly regularly on facebook the past few weeks. He also acquired a local girlfriend during his last visit, so he’ll be coming home more often.</p>
<p>I’m laughing over the turkey story! I guess he took “empty nest” literally.</p>
<p>tptshorty: wow! I just got a new kitten. I wouldn’t have thought a turkey would be cuddly. Isn’t he going to feel guilty on Thanksgiving when he’s eating it’s cousin? </p>
<p>So not an empty nest but a smaller one here. Nothing dramatic. No tears, but I’m not a crier anyway. D’s been good about keeping in touch. 1st time she came home, it was tough when she left, but she was just home for the 3rd time last week & it wasn’t an issue when she left again. I’m busy at work, I’m busy with my mom & frankly, I thought I’d have more time for some hobbies. But my new kitten is a snuggle bunny & doesn’t ask to stop at Anthropologie :)</p>
<p>Not to be Debbie Downer but I’ve heard from friends that the second year is a bit more difficult because in some ways it’s old hat but in others it leaves you less needed right from the start. Just like Sophomore year is often more difficult for a college student so it is for some parents.</p>
<p>Empty nest and loving it!</p>
<p>Maybe this should be a new thread ? Of ALL the things to do, hatch turkey eggs? There must be a piece of information we are all missing-did H grow up on a farm ? What career does this guy have ?</p>
<p>One is back temporarily working at H’s Co. until mid January.
But she is never @ home! Goes to work, comes home, leaves to go visit with friends.
So still empty as far as I am concerned. </p>
<p>I enjoy not planning menus around other family members! “So & So is a vegetarian, What’s her name can’t have gluten.” ETC. So H & I eat what we want to eat & seldom use the dining room anymore! I do enjoy not dragging in lots of grocery bags. </p>
<p>Plus, the electric bill took a real nosedive!</p>
<p>This is the 2nd year of my empty nest (have a soph and a senior). The first couple of months were the hardest. But after taking our first empty nest vacation, I started really enjoying it. I love having my kids home a well. Either way is good for different reasons.</p>
<p>In any case, my empty nest will become un-empty once again, when my daughter graduates this May. She plans on moving back home until she can support herself. She actually does want to return to her home-city in any case, but would have preferred to be living elsewhere. Unless some great opportunity comes her way between now and May, she’ll be back in her bedroom by June.</p>
<p>Dear DD and DS,
Please understand that I still love you regardless of what you read in my response to this thread,
MOM</p>
<p>When D left, I was really sad. Moped about a bit and we learned recently she didn’t share her homesickness with us. When S left, I missed him but literally rejoiced in the peace and calm that filled our home when he left-- our home was quiet, there was no more taxi service runs, late night kitchen service or constant laundry (athletic teens seem to shower constantly). Even though both S and D cooked, drive and do laundry, the calm in all such areas with their departure is a welcome relief!</p>
<p>I’m fortunate they are in the same school and we can visit every 5-6 weeks for a weekend and that we are able to Skype at least once a week to say hi. We are FB friends and so at a distance I see how happy they are and the joy they have in their lives. Either H or I hears from one or both of them every few days-- they call walking between classes to say hi, talk sports or yes, even ask for money (again).
H and I have moved on to the next phase of life (trips, shopping, relaxing) and take comfort in knowing we have two healthy and happy adult children and perhaps in a dozen or so years we will be grandparents too (is there a grandparents’ posting board…oh boy CC to Grandparents, cannot wait!) </p>
<p>And a lasting note, I do not want to be a boomerang parent-- oh dear no please let them both find well paying jobs!</p>
<p>I second the boomerang parent thing. </p>
<p>My empty nest has been so busy I can barely breathe. I hardly notice that it’s empty except that there is not an extra pair of hands when I need it. But the thing that really, really bothers me, is I keep having this vision that I will soon be extremely old - like 99. Then we started going to the service at church where the octogenarians go and I told my husband all our new friends average age is going to be 88. I think that’s making the old feeling worse. I’m not sure how to shake this feeling of being, not just middle aged, or senior (which I’m not!), but really, really old. Maybe I’m just crazy.</p>
<p>Recovered? I am loving it. I communicate with my daughter regularly and occasionally with my son (not surprising) and in the meantime I have been busy. My husband and I have really activated our social life and I have probably gone to close to the same number of parties these last few months as my daughter has at college. 
My husband and I have been having fun doing more outdoor activities and the laundry load is nice and small.</p>
<p>D1 went to college four years ago, D2’s a sophomore, and S is an 11th-grader. The nest is emptying in stages and we’re adjusting. </p>
<p>D1 and D2 went to the same school, 1,000 miles away. We visited 10 times in three years. I was all over its CC board for a couple years. The phone calls and emails have persisted, but we’ve adjusted to the lessening of activity at home, and only went up to campus once last year, for D1’s graduation. Perhaps the toughest thing to accept is that home is not all that exciting any more. They still want to see us and their brother, but life in our town moves much slower than on campus, and their company there is particularly engaging. But knowing that they’re happy in the niches they’ve found provides GAmom and me with a lot of satisfaction.</p>
<p>It’ll be tough in two years when it’s really empty. GAmom is already getting psychologically prepared - she’s beginning to talk about getting a dog.</p>
<p>Not to be a downer, but my kid is going on medical leave again, after a lot of suffering trying to stay in. I would give anything for an empty nest: it would mean a healthy kid.</p>
<p>After several boomerangs from S1-3, S3 finally has a good paying job, moved out this summer and we are FINALLY empty nest, knock on wood. DD is a senior in college this year and is not planning on coming home after graduating. She is already working on her plan to stay there. </p>
<p>We love them all, but it really was time. What we found we missed most though with the S3 boomerang moving out was the dog sitter. Now when we want to go places we have to get the 15 1/2 year old mini poodle a sitter that can come early in the AM and late at night since he doesn’t last really long in the house and he does not do well boarding. .</p>
<p>Many people talk about small loads of laundry now,as the result of an empty nest.I feel like I have a baby with the amount of laundry I do,the result of volunteering in the ER several nights a week .When I get home ,everything goes in the wash ! So less laundry is not my fate !! I do love the ER,and I recommend it to those of you with too much time on your hands .I help out running errands ,taking people to and from scans and ultrasounds ,handing out stickers,coloring books, etc. It’s really exciting !!</p>
<p>compmom: point well taken. i appreciate my ‘empty nest’ a little more today.</p>
<p>Two children gone to college and one 9 year old at home. I would love to have an empty nest (as we initially planned) but we’ve been pretty lucky finding overnight babysitters for major events. It’s nice when DDs come home for a brief time but we enjoy OUR (DW and I) time together.</p>
<p>We’ve had an array of situations as the nest emptied. As D1 left for school, we were still busy with 2 left at home. When D2, the uber athlete, left, the difference was intensely noticeable as she had been a 3 sport athlete plus regional teams so the timing commitment and concurrent enjoyment of team activities was gone. It took a while to find new interests to fill our time especially as D3 is very mellow and low key and her 2 sisters were pretty high maintenance in terms of time & energy.</p>
<p>When D3 left, D1 had moved nearby for a grad degree so we got to see her weekly and that was a delight, empty nest on the weekdays, kid home on the weekends. But we still took an extended business trip that first fall in order to form some new routines without her.</p>
<p>By the next year, there were no kids nearby, but we were busy with parent health issues, death and moving the remaining parent in with us. We had an empty nest for about 6 months and were enjoying it and moving in a parent is not as fun as your kid, but it is working out well, but I wonder if I will EVER be alone in my own home??</p>
<p>Even with others home, I had to consciously adjust to the hole left in my routine by the absence of each kid.</p>
<p>One of the things I learned early on was that whilst in HS I felt involved in their choices, when they left for college, I figured out that it is not my job to even have an opinion on their choices, it is my job to help them make sure they are considering all the pros & cons before they make their choice. So, when they call, happy or sad or mad or whatever, I am to just help them see the big picture so they can make good choices, not make choices for them or be responsible for their choices.</p>
<p>I have one who still calls/emails/texts/gchats all the time, another who is in regular contact and another who was a real pain in grade 12 and who was not in very close contact…enough, but not close & comfortable, for the first few years of university. We stayed hands off, backed off and let her come back to us. Things are most excellent now, but she is still not an everyday chat person. In undergrad, I used to check her bank account and see the activity to make sure she was alive and well ;)</p>
<p>“I feel like I have a baby with the amount of laundry I do,the result of volunteering in the ER several nights a week .When I get home ,everything goes in the wash ! So less laundry is not my fate !! I do love the ER…”</p>
<p>fm - I’m delighted that you have found valuable, rewarding volunteer opportunities. Keep up the good work!</p>